THE DING BAR Forum

[blacklawboss]

Dear BU= Pee u! You send me a waiver I had 0 intention on attending your 2nd tier "not quite harvard" school it was only leverage. I want my $12 it would have been better spent on sam adams!

[descartesb4thehorse]

Dear UCLA,

uhm, ahhhh, hummmm what should I write. Your email didn't make it past my gmail spam filter, so I guess they think you're garbage....no that's not that funny. Bruins football is a joke.....well that's just boring and overdone. I guess I no answers or witty retorts, I am just disappointed.

I just had a mini-conniption and dredged through my gmail spam box because of this. I found this:
HI THERE

You asked my advice as to how to succeed in your job.
I heard that you could get any degree you might need.
Here are the contacts:

SO I'M IN RIGHT? At TRAVIDIA U?

[TheTopBloke]

Dear Georgetown,

At ITT Tech I can pursue a career in criminal justice for a fraction of the costs. Me 1, Georgetown 0.

ROFLMAO!

[kublaikahn]

Dear Yale,
I knew you were not a given with my 171/4.0, but I figured my ridiculous WE (COO/VP of T500 multi-million $ firm by age 26, 3 years hands-on M&A exp) LORs from top ranked attorneys and businessmen in Boston, and PS (oldest of 6 kids, schizophrenic father, raised in a cult) would span the gap, what with your "holistic" approach.
Go fawk yaself wicked hahd in the crappah wid a fawkin table leg.

PS I'm pretty sure I got WL at BU because they figured places like you would let me in. Awesome.

You are not qualified to go to Yale, you unpretentious, unasshole. If I ever get in a position to not hire a Yalie, I will coin the term "I just ElvisAaron'ed your asssss!". Good luck wherever you go.

Lol thanks. Man, the Ding Bar makes me feel better

I imagine you are staying local to support your younger siblings. I wouldn't worry about it. While a Yale degree would get you down the road faster, you will do just fine. Our country doesn't make many men like you anymore. I am tlaking about leadership. Go read some of the posts in the Lounge, even from the top students at the top schools, and you will understand what I mean. The cream will always rise to the top.

[SemperLegal]

Dear Haavard:

BOSTON SUCKS. No matter how cool you think you are and how high your lay prestige may be, the Socks will always suck, Boston will always be a shitty version of Philly, itself a failed attempt to imitate NYC.

Your entering class of 560 people makes GULC look intimate. Size may be good for the Cooley Rankings, but not so much in the real world. Just as your slimmer brother has to share a the 14th rank with a commoner, UT, I predict next year will be the year you share a spot with Fordham.

I hope you sicken and die. Additionally, I hope every member of the adcomm staff has mildly annoying things happen to their loved ones (e.g. keys get stuck in the ignition, cat poops on their pillow, etc.)

Semper

[pattonthicke]

I hope you sicken and die. Additionally, I hope every member of the adcomm staff has mildly annoying things happen to their loved ones (e.g. keys get stuck in the ignition, cat poops on their pillow, etc.)

Classic

[TurtlesAllTheWayDown]

Damn Berkeley, last year you was the man Homie
The fuck happened to you?

+1 for the sickest vendetta.

[boozehound]

Dear BC:

Perhaps you are confused why I wrote a LOCI after you dinged me. Well, after you finish reading my letter....smell it. Does the aroma of butt help you understand?

--boozehound

[DeeCee]

Dear Emory:


30.

Everyone rejected @ Emory should send this out en masse.

Yes, lol. Talk about whiners because they dropped in rankings.

[Gecko of Doom]

.

[Longhorn88]

Dear Tulane,

My stats were above both your medians, I'm glad I won't be there to inflate your averages. Also, you're half the school you were 20 years ago, and you're one hurricane away from getting swept back out to the Gulf. I'll start doing a rain dance.

Love,

Longhorn88

ps. You have a junior college football team.

[BuckeyeGirl]

5 Waitlists. FIVE. Are you fucking kidding me?!


It seems this cycle is just beginning.......and I realize this isn't exactly a Ding Bar post...but I'm angry/sad enough for it...

[crit_racer]

5 Waitlists. FIVE. Are you fucking kidding me?!


It seems this cycle is just beginning.......and I realize this isn't exactly a Ding Bar post...but I'm angry/sad enough for it...

I remember when I had 5 waitlists. Kinda sucked. Then I got 3 more and shit got real.

[blacklawboss]

Dear Tulane,

My stats were above both your medians, I'm glad I won't be there to inflate your averages. Also, you're half the school you were 20 years ago, and you're one hurricane away from getting swept back out to the Gulf. I'll start doing a rain dance.

Love,

Longhorn88

ps. You have a junior college football team.

+1 POW

[bigjinjapan]

Eat a dick Dook. At least now I won't have to spend the rest of March Madness pretending to cheer for your shitty fucking ball team. Go 'Heels!

[taxnstuff]

Dear W&M,

The only reason I wanted to go to your school was to go to busch gardens on a daily basis and roleplay in colonial williamsburg. You shattered my dreams. Shame on you.

[restless]

I have a bit of a backlog, so I'll keep these short and sweet:

Dear Berkeley,
Thanks for the kind rejection letter. It saved me from an embarrassing crying episode. Aside from that, go fuck yourself.

Dear GW,
Uh, who are you again? George.. Georgetown? No, wait... really, who are you?

Dear UW,
You sneaky son of a bitch. After playing mind games with me for weeks on end, you actually tricked me into thinking that you liked me a little. I even toyed with the idea of living somewhere colder than the Bay Area. Silly me. When the lockout ends, I hope Jim Harbaugh pummels the shit out of Pete "the Cheat" Carroll. I hate you.

[MalachiConstant]

Dear UW,
You sneaky son of a bitch. After playing mind games with me for weeks on end, you actually tricked me into thinking that you liked me a little. I even toyed with the idea of living somewhere colder than the Bay Area. Silly me. When the lockout ends, I hope Jim Harbaugh pummels the shit out of Pete "the Cheat" Carroll. I hate you.

Never wish good things for that man.

I guess I should participate:

Davis Waitlist? At least it will be easy to find cow poop for when I need to ignite a paper bag full of it and leave it in front of the admissions office.

[rebexness]

[ilovesf]

Dear UW,
You sneaky son of a bitch. After playing mind games with me for weeks on end, you actually tricked me into thinking that you liked me a little. I even toyed with the idea of living somewhere colder than the Bay Area. Silly me. When the lockout ends, I hope Jim Harbaugh pummels the shit out of Pete "the Cheat" Carroll. I hate you.

Good one - go Niners! I hope you get into Hastings so you can stay and root for them!

[krad]

Dear W&M,

The only reason I wanted to go to your school was to go to busch gardens on a daily basis and roleplay in colonial williamsburg. You shattered my dreams. Shame on you.

WINNING.

+1

[agora139]

dear emory,

30.

and, f you, you YPing SOB.

[zonto]

Posted this in another thread and figured it was acceptable here too:

My Most Dearest Mr. Le,

Thank you for running out of brochures the day I attended the local law school fair to find out more about your school. The professor responsible for sparking my interest in law recommended your institution, and I felt bound to honor his suggestion. I also appreciated the somewhat snide comment about being a public school and not having enough money to grant fee waivers when I inquired about the topic. No worries there; I hope you enjoy my 1% contribution to your (supposed) median award amount.

Thank you also for your suggestions about creating effective, rhetorically persuasive resumes and cover letters during the admissions panel. Your suggestions, combined with my life experience and the skills I've learned as a technical communicator, have been a great blessing during the entirety of my application cycle this year. In fact, your suggestions proved so worthwhile that they have secured me admission and substantial scholarship awards at other schools more renowned than your own.

The irony is that you, the very person that finally gave clarity to the jumble of thoughts related to (and pages of free-hand written in preparation for) those important documents, saw fit to waitlist me nearly two months after the jubilant letters started flooding in from admissions deans at these more prestigious schools.

Consider this my Letter of Continued Apathy for you and the entirety of the University of Washington School of Law application process. I may keep myself on the waitlist, hoping that those accepted wise up and withdraw, so when you call in May to offer me a spot I can put you on hold and go take a dump while viewing the physical viewbook of the school I decide to attend.

Good day to you sir,

zonto

[thegreatk]

Posted this in another thread and figured it was acceptable here too:

My Most Dearest Mr. Le,

Thank you for running out of brochures the day I attended the local law school fair to find out more about your school. The professor responsible for sparking my interest in law recommended your institution, and I felt bound to honor his suggestion. I also appreciated the somewhat snide comment about being a public school and not having enough money to grant fee waivers when I inquired about the topic. No worries there; I hope you enjoy my 1% contribution to your (supposed) median award amount.

Thank you also for your suggestions about creating effective, rhetorically persuasive resumes and cover letters during the admissions panel. Your suggestions, combined with my life experience and the skills I've learned as a technical communicator, have been a great blessing during the entirety of my application cycle this year. In fact, your suggestions proved so worthwhile that they have secured me admission and substantial scholarship awards at other schools more renowned than your own.

The irony is that you, the very person that finally gave clarity to the jumble of thoughts related to (and pages of free-hand written in preparation for) those important documents, saw fit to waitlist me nearly two months after the jubilant letters started flooding in from admissions deans at these more prestigious schools.

Consider this my Letter of Continued Apathy for you and the entirety of the University of Washington School of Law application process. I may keep myself on the waitlist, hoping that those accepted wise up and withdraw, so when you call in May to offer me a spot I can put you on hold and go take a dump while viewing the physical viewbook of the school I decide to attend.

Good day to you sir,

zonto

So much win.

[JakeL]

Posted this in another thread and figured it was acceptable here too:

My Most Dearest Mr. Le,

Thank you for running out of brochures the day I attended the local law school fair to find out more about your school. The professor responsible for sparking my interest in law recommended your institution, and I felt bound to honor his suggestion. I also appreciated the somewhat snide comment about being a public school and not having enough money to grant fee waivers when I inquired about the topic. No worries there; I hope you enjoy my 1% contribution to your (supposed) median award amount.

Thank you also for your suggestions about creating effective, rhetorically persuasive resumes and cover letters during the admissions panel. Your suggestions, combined with my life experience and the skills I've learned as a technical communicator, have been a great blessing during the entirety of my application cycle this year. In fact, your suggestions proved so worthwhile that they have secured me admission and substantial scholarship awards at other schools more renowned than your own.

The irony is that you, the very person that finally gave clarity to the jumble of thoughts related to (and pages of free-hand written in preparation for) those important documents, saw fit to waitlist me nearly two months after the jubilant letters started flooding in from admissions deans at these more prestigious schools.

Consider this my Letter of Continued Apathy for you and the entirety of the University of Washington School of Law application process. I may keep myself on the waitlist, hoping that those accepted wise up and withdraw, so when you call in May to offer me a spot I can put you on hold and go take a dump while viewing the physical viewbook of the school I decide to attend.

Good day to you sir,

zonto

I feel this one!