TLS c/o 2020 - In #Squad We Trust Forum

[Bearlyalive]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

I got to law school and literally everyone I know is in relationships. Wooooo.

For friends, go to the ASW, talk with people, go drinking with them at the end of the day, friend them on Facebook, chat with them over summer, and make plans for when you get back to the city. Group chats and plans preferable.

[Gitaroo_Dude]

Like you'll have at least 100 people you're forced to interact with, that's probably a good start.

But those 100 people will all be competitors acting as road blocks on my way to success.

Meh, not necessarily. I don't intend to go to LS and look at my section as competition. I just intend to do my best and hope that there's no gunner that try to ruin my/anyone's life

Oh, I'm totally kidding btw.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

Bar reviews, joining orgs, seeing the same people every single day in sections. If anything I feel like law school presents a lot of opportunities to make friends.

[waldorf]

.

[brinicolec]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

I got to law school and literally everyone I know is in relationships. Wooooo.

For friends, go to the ASW, talk with people, go drinking with them at the end of the day, friend them on Facebook, chat with them over summer, and make plans for when you get back to the city. Group chats and plans preferable.

Wait. Did they get in relationships AFTER going to LS or had they been in them prior to LS?

[brinicolec]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

My plan is to join a few student groups and hope I end up in a good section, lol.

[brinicolec]

Idk, I always wonder if telling a man you'd reject his proposal is a huge no-no, but it's also something I don't have to worry about lol.

I think it depends. My ex-boyfriend, who I dated for three years and was about to move in with, wanted to get engaged sooner than I did. I told him not to propose to me until law school was over because I didn't want to deal with the stress of an engagement/wedding planning/whatever during law school nor did I want a three year engagement. I want/need to be 100% committed to focusing on my future career goals. He thought it'd be weird because by the time I pass the bar, we'd have been dating for 8ish years, but if it's the right person, I don't understand the rush to get engaged. ?

If I ever get to that point in my life (lol), I'd just want a nice ring

[Bearlyalive]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

I got to law school and literally everyone I know is in relationships. Wooooo.

For friends, go to the ASW, talk with people, go drinking with them at the end of the day, friend them on Facebook, chat with them over summer, and make plans for when you get back to the city. Group chats and plans preferable.

Wait. Did they get in relationships AFTER going to LS or had they been in them prior to LS?

Prior to. Soooo many people doing LDRs. Two of my friends did move in with their SOs for the first time though.

[brinicolec]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

I got to law school and literally everyone I know is in relationships. Wooooo.

For friends, go to the ASW, talk with people, go drinking with them at the end of the day, friend them on Facebook, chat with them over summer, and make plans for when you get back to the city. Group chats and plans preferable.

Wait. Did they get in relationships AFTER going to LS or had they been in them prior to LS?

Prior to. Soooo many people doing LDRs. Two of my friends did move in with their SOs for the first time though.

Nope nope nope. Couldn't be me

[Dr.Degrees_Cr.Cash]

I found I was wayyyyy more worried about age, social networks and the like when I was younger. Now that I'm an olds it's more like "well it's law school". I'll probably still find people to drink with anywhere.

+1 But I'm not even old. I just feel like being out of school makes you realize that with enough time and the right amount of alcohol the location and cliques don't really matter, anyone can be friends

Major key

Exactly, have to hit the sweet spot, which will be different depending greatly on the situation

Also:

Idk. I don't quite agree about the location/cliques thing. As someone who moved around all my life and has lived in some crappy places (current location included), I've found that where I live can really impact my feelings of life satisfaction. Also, as a minority, I've found that living in areas with an extremely low % of minorities really bothers me (especially after this election). If you go to a small enough, white enough town, cliques really, really matter. Cliques that grew up together are almost impenetrable by an outsider, especially a minority. I mean, I was a cheerleader and everything and I still couldn't crack into my OWN presumed clique But, also, growing up that way I'm in a "I'm not settling on location ever again; I've been miserable enough" mode so location is a big deal to me.

This is, of course, true and I won't pretend that my privilege in life doesn't effect all aspects of my life, not least of all how racist people interact with me. However, I think in the context of law school the point that you'll find friends wherever you are holds. That said, you're right that not everyone can be friends.

[haley12]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

I got to law school and literally everyone I know is in relationships. Wooooo.

For friends, go to the ASW, talk with people, go drinking with them at the end of the day, friend them on Facebook, chat with them over summer, and make plans for when you get back to the city. Group chats and plans preferable.

How are you supposed to find your spouse in law school if everyone is already in an LDR?

[RParadela]

Since the conversation has taken the turn of SOs, I'll vent about my situation here because I've got no one else to talk to about it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5+ years and will be living together once I get back stateside (for the like three months until I leave for whatever school I decide to go to). We go to the same UG, but he's going to graduate a year later than I will, so he couldn't follow me even if he wanted to (which I'm not sure I do want him to). I didn't apply to any schools in state, so I know it'll be quite a distance. We've done long distance before (we didn't start out going to the same UG, and I've been abroad for 5 months now) with no problems, but still, I feel like law school is such a uniquely stressful situation. I'm the kind of person who pre-stresses about these sorts of things.

Relatedly, I've told him multiple times that if he asks me to marry him when I graduate/before I go off to law school I will say no on principle. Is this carzy?? I just can't see the logic in being engaged and then living half way across the country from each other. Plus his family is very conservative (Indian), so an engagement would basically be the same as marriage (as in a breakup would be equivalent to a divorce at that point).

To end on a funnier note, I'm 21, and my birthday was 3 days before I left for a country where the drinking age is 18 . Still get ID'd here all the time too

This is coming from the opposite of someone who does long term relationship but I despise long distance relationship. I just think it never works out unless you have a very clear plan on how to either A. See each other all of the time or B. Know that the long distance is temporary.

Obviously, everyone is different but if I were in your situation, I'd move on after moving away.

[Thomas Hagan, ESQ.]

I hope someone wrote a Diversity Statement this year about how they're a non-Caucasian Trump voter.

To Berkeley.

6: *application received*
6:01: *application complete*
6:02: *rejection email*
6:03: personal message from ad-comms saying "fuck you."

hahaha but you forgot berkeley's "Under Review" and "faculty review' emails!

[brinicolec]

All of this talk about marriage is making me think I'm going to be single forever and everyone else going to law school is married! Lol.

22 and single. Was on my way to an engagement with a boyfriend of three years but I ultimately decided we had some personality differences that weren't compatible long term and broke it off.

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

I got to law school and literally everyone I know is in relationships. Wooooo.

For friends, go to the ASW, talk with people, go drinking with them at the end of the day, friend them on Facebook, chat with them over summer, and make plans for when you get back to the city. Group chats and plans preferable.

How are you supposed to find your spouse in law school if everyone is already in an LDR?

YA DONT! Lol, jk. Idk. I'm sure it happens. There's no way everyone in law school is taken.

[The_Pluviophile]

Idk, I always wonder if telling a man you'd reject his proposal is a huge no-no, but it's also something I don't have to worry about lol.

I think it depends. My ex-boyfriend, who I dated for three years and was about to move in with, wanted to get engaged sooner than I did. I told him not to propose to me until law school was over because I didn't want to deal with the stress of an engagement/wedding planning/whatever during law school nor did I want a three year engagement. I want/need to be 100% committed to focusing on my future career goals. He thought it'd be weird because by the time I pass the bar, we'd have been dating for 8ish years, but if it's the right person, I don't understand the rush to get engaged. ?

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. Why rush it? I mean, if things are still good after my 1L and when he graduates, I'm not opposed to him moving and living together in the meantime. What difference does marriage really make at that point? We'll be in the same situation as far as dating for so long by the time I graduate, but my boyfriend isn't really pushing. I think he understands that if he made me choose between my career and him, I'd choose my career

[sorence]

Since the conversation has taken the turn of SOs, I'll vent about my situation here because I've got no one else to talk to about it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5+ years and will be living together once I get back stateside (for the like three months until I leave for whatever school I decide to go to). We go to the same UG, but he's going to graduate a year later than I will, so he couldn't follow me even if he wanted to (which I'm not sure I do want him to). I didn't apply to any schools in state, so I know it'll be quite a distance. We've done long distance before (we didn't start out going to the same UG, and I've been abroad for 5 months now) with no problems, but still, I feel like law school is such a uniquely stressful situation. I'm the kind of person who pre-stresses about these sorts of things.

Relatedly, I've told him multiple times that if he asks me to marry him when I graduate/before I go off to law school I will say no on principle. Is this carzy?? I just can't see the logic in being engaged and then living half way across the country from each other. Plus his family is very conservative (Indian), so an engagement would basically be the same as marriage (as in a breakup would be equivalent to a divorce at that point).

To end on a funnier note, I'm 21, and my birthday was 3 days before I left for a country where the drinking age is 18 . Still get ID'd here all the time too

This isn't crazy at all! In fact, your situation is v similar to my own (LDR going into law, most likely going to be separated, even an Indian SO lol). We've both talked it through and have decided that engagement isn't for us until post-grad (he'll be in med school) for many of the same reasons: distance, school stress, etc. So, no, I don't think you're crazy and you certainly won't be the only one in a similar situation going into law school.

[The_Pluviophile]

Since the conversation has taken the turn of SOs, I'll vent about my situation here because I've got no one else to talk to about it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5+ years and will be living together once I get back stateside (for the like three months until I leave for whatever school I decide to go to). We go to the same UG, but he's going to graduate a year later than I will, so he couldn't follow me even if he wanted to (which I'm not sure I do want him to). I didn't apply to any schools in state, so I know it'll be quite a distance. We've done long distance before (we didn't start out going to the same UG, and I've been abroad for 5 months now) with no problems, but still, I feel like law school is such a uniquely stressful situation. I'm the kind of person who pre-stresses about these sorts of things.

Relatedly, I've told him multiple times that if he asks me to marry him when I graduate/before I go off to law school I will say no on principle. Is this carzy?? I just can't see the logic in being engaged and then living half way across the country from each other. Plus his family is very conservative (Indian), so an engagement would basically be the same as marriage (as in a breakup would be equivalent to a divorce at that point).

To end on a funnier note, I'm 21, and my birthday was 3 days before I left for a country where the drinking age is 18 . Still get ID'd here all the time too

This is coming from the opposite of someone who does long term relationship but I despise long distance relationship. I just think it never works out unless you have a very clear plan on how to either A. See each other all of the time or B. Know that the long distance is temporary.

Obviously, everyone is different but if I were in your situation, I'd move on after moving away.

I think I'm just keeping a really open mind to the possibility that it won't work out. I'm not going to end it just because I'm leaving, but if things start to go south I'll (hopefully) have the courage to realize and not try to drag it out...

[airwrecka]

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

Something I did this year (and was quite proud of myself for, because I'm usually not very outgoing in this way) was to email someone I had met once at a large gathering (but thought she was cool) (I creeped her email from the original invite from the said gathering) and asked her if she wanted to join a trivia team with me. We literally hadn't seen each other in probably 6 months, but she remembered who I was and said trivia sounded fun! Now we are becoming fast friends and go to trivia every week together

Do other cities (I'm from Minneapolis) have organized trivia in different bars on different nights of the week? There is an org here called Trivia Mafia that organizes it and it is SO fun. If it doesn't exist wherever I end up for law school, I'm going to start an org that does the same thing myself.

[The_Pluviophile]

Since the conversation has taken the turn of SOs, I'll vent about my situation here because I've got no one else to talk to about it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5+ years and will be living together once I get back stateside (for the like three months until I leave for whatever school I decide to go to). We go to the same UG, but he's going to graduate a year later than I will, so he couldn't follow me even if he wanted to (which I'm not sure I do want him to). I didn't apply to any schools in state, so I know it'll be quite a distance. We've done long distance before (we didn't start out going to the same UG, and I've been abroad for 5 months now) with no problems, but still, I feel like law school is such a uniquely stressful situation. I'm the kind of person who pre-stresses about these sorts of things.

Relatedly, I've told him multiple times that if he asks me to marry him when I graduate/before I go off to law school I will say no on principle. Is this carzy?? I just can't see the logic in being engaged and then living half way across the country from each other. Plus his family is very conservative (Indian), so an engagement would basically be the same as marriage (as in a breakup would be equivalent to a divorce at that point).

To end on a funnier note, I'm 21, and my birthday was 3 days before I left for a country where the drinking age is 18 . Still get ID'd here all the time too

This isn't crazy at all! In fact, your situation is v similar to my own (LDR going into law, most likely going to be separated, even an Indian SO lol). We've both talked it through and have decided that engagement isn't for us until post-grad (he'll be in med school) for many of the same reasons: distance, school stress, etc. So, no, I don't think you're crazy and you certainly won't be the only one in a similar situation going into law school.

Hahaha, that's a interesting coincidence. As a related note then, is there any pressure from his family for you two to get married? Because I think this will be the biggest problem in my case, and I'm not really sure what to say to them. Like, sorry I want a job first?

[Pozzo]

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

Something I did this year (and was quite proud of myself for, because I'm usually not very outgoing in this way) was to email someone I had met once at a large gathering (but thought she was cool) (I creeped her email from the original invite from the said gathering) and asked her if she wanted to join a trivia team with me. We literally hadn't seen each other in probably 6 months, but she remembered who I was and said trivia sounded fun! Now we are becoming fast friends and go to trivia every week together

Do other cities (I'm from Minneapolis) have organized trivia in different bars on different nights of the week? There is an org here called Trivia Mafia that organizes it and it is SO fun. If it doesn't exist wherever I end up for law school, I'm going to start an org that does the same thing myself.

My experience with social trivia is limited to bar trivia. But lots of bars have regular trivia nights which are a great way to meet people.

[SmallK]

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

Something I did this year (and was quite proud of myself for, because I'm usually not very outgoing in this way) was to email someone I had met once at a large gathering (but thought she was cool) (I creeped her email from the original invite from the said gathering) and asked her if she wanted to join a trivia team with me. We literally hadn't seen each other in probably 6 months, but she remembered who I was and said trivia sounded fun! Now we are becoming fast friends and go to trivia every week together

Do other cities (I'm from Minneapolis) have organized trivia in different bars on different nights of the week? There is an org here called Trivia Mafia that organizes it and it is SO fun. If it doesn't exist wherever I end up for law school, I'm going to start an org that does the same thing myself.

Absolutely. Boston has Geeks Who Drink, and a whole slew of other ones, and I'm sure NYC has it, too. I agree that it's a great way to reach out and get a group of people together, especially since it can be a weekly thing.

[airwrecka]

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

Something I did this year (and was quite proud of myself for, because I'm usually not very outgoing in this way) was to email someone I had met once at a large gathering (but thought she was cool) (I creeped her email from the original invite from the said gathering) and asked her if she wanted to join a trivia team with me. We literally hadn't seen each other in probably 6 months, but she remembered who I was and said trivia sounded fun! Now we are becoming fast friends and go to trivia every week together

Do other cities (I'm from Minneapolis) have organized trivia in different bars on different nights of the week? There is an org here called Trivia Mafia that organizes it and it is SO fun. If it doesn't exist wherever I end up for law school, I'm going to start an org that does the same thing myself.

Absolutely. Boston has Geeks Who Drink, and a whole slew of other ones, and I'm sure NYC has it, too. I agree that it's a great way to reach out and get a group of people together, especially since it can be a weekly thing.

Woohoo! I figured other cities would have it. The other great thing about it is that it gives you something to do & talk about if you don't know people very well thereby reducing awkwardness.

[sorence]

Hahaha, that's a interesting coincidence. As a related note then, is there any pressure from his family for you two to get married? Because I think this will be the biggest problem in my case, and I'm not really sure what to say to them. Like, sorry I want a job first?

Thankfully his parents are pretty progressive and are aware of the difficulty of getting through med/law school alone, let alone trying to sustain a new marriage through it, so we've escaped largely pressure-free (so far..). Idk how I would handle that pressure on top of everything else.

[chargers21]

.

[SmallK]

Also, how do people make friends? The concept of moving to a new city and having to make new friends freaks me out. At least in college, I was in the dorms and a sorority and forced to interact with people.

Something I did this year (and was quite proud of myself for, because I'm usually not very outgoing in this way) was to email someone I had met once at a large gathering (but thought she was cool) (I creeped her email from the original invite from the said gathering) and asked her if she wanted to join a trivia team with me. We literally hadn't seen each other in probably 6 months, but she remembered who I was and said trivia sounded fun! Now we are becoming fast friends and go to trivia every week together

Do other cities (I'm from Minneapolis) have organized trivia in different bars on different nights of the week? There is an org here called Trivia Mafia that organizes it and it is SO fun. If it doesn't exist wherever I end up for law school, I'm going to start an org that does the same thing myself.

Absolutely. Boston has Geeks Who Drink, and a whole slew of other ones, and I'm sure NYC has it, too. I agree that it's a great way to reach out and get a group of people together, especially since it can be a weekly thing.

Woohoo! I figured other cities would have it. The other great thing about it is that it gives you something to do & talk about if you don't know people very well thereby reducing awkwardness.

Exactly! Good call, airwrecka, definitely filing this one away. It's also a great way to become a regular at a bar, which can always come in handy.

[RParadela]

This thread has popped off today.

I take full credit