being pregnant as a 1L... is it possible? Forum

[Pearalegal]

Hi all--

I'm looking for advice on whether or not it's crazy to be pregnant during your first year of law school. Has anyone here done it? Did it affect your performance in school? Did you have to take off time or were you able to go back to school right away? I'm 26 and married (planning to attend a T5 school in the fall) and would rather not have to wait 3 more years to have children, if possible, but also want to make sure I'm not making a decision that will jeopardize my law school career.

Thanks in advance!

From the opinion of someone who is nowhere close to having a baby, haha, I think it might be more logical to wait until after law school. But sometimes logic isn't the way people make decisions as personal as this (nor, maybe, should they).

However, I think the most important thing is that your husband is ready to take on more work than (stereotypically and unfairly), is placed on a new Dad...which might be hard if he is working to support you and the new tot through law school. Also probably vital, do you have family in the area?

Both my parents worked my entire life, but for the first few years of my life, my mom ran her business out of our home. They simply couldn't afford to hire someone to watch me when both of them were out of the house and didn't have family nearby. This is something to consider. When you're in class, where will baby go? I personally think its quite disrespectful to your fellow classmates to bring a newborn to class.

Also, will you be moving for summer work? Are you going to law school where you'll ultimately practice (planning to, anyways?)

You will also be going through a lot of hormonal and physical changes that will be exhausting as you study and the like...without the benefit of maternity leave that law firms provide (my firm gives 9 months to primary caregivers, and 4 to secondary). You'll have to study and work through that, which for some women is close to impossible.

I think its doable either way, but I would vote to wait until after. You'll have maternity leave, you'll have more money to provide for the tot, ect. Most of my female attorneys wait until after law school.

You're pretty young still, I think it might be best to wait.

[mrsdraper]

thanks for all of the insight... this is really interesting and thought provoking.

how important is 1L summer? how detrimental would it be if I took the summer off and didn't have an internship, etc...?

[monicaggon]

My female take on things....

I am your age, and also married, but not ready for kids...lol

However, my husband is a 1L at UNM, and there is a pregnant woman in his class.

She made Dean's List.

You can do it, it will just make things harder. Make sure your husband is willing to be supportive in all the ways you will need him to be (for law school, and through your pregnancy).

I think it can be done!

[Pearalegal]

thanks for all of the insight... this is really interesting and thought provoking.

how important is 1L summer? how detrimental would it be if I took the summer off and didn't have an internship, etc...?

Its really not a good idea. All legal employers having SOMETHING on that resume to talk about.

[sarahd]

as an older 0L mom with 3 kids (teenagers), I would say that would recommend, if possible, to try to avoid being in your first trimester during your first semester of 1L. During the first 3 months or so, it can be an emotional rollercoaster and the exhaustion can be downright mindnumbing those first few months. Once months 4,5,6 come rolling around, if everything is going well, then your energy will be back up. Not everyone is the same, but the exhaustion is pretty universal. I was a very fit 21 year old when I had my first baby and I was just as tired as I was at 27 when I had my last. On the other hand, you don't want to be hitting finals at the same time you could be going into labor. Also, when pregnant with your first, the baby can be all consuming and extremely preoccupying. I know people are able to do it, but just not sure how successful.

If your spouse is on board and you are fully aware of the issues that can come up as well as the possibility of having to put school on hold if you end up having issues, getting put on bedrest (I was for 14 weeks during my first pregnancy), and that you will llikely feel like you can barely wake up at the beginning and barely move or fit in a desk at the end, then go for it. Personally, having had 3 kids, there is no way I would even attempt it during 1L...too much at stake for either activity and something will have to give a little.

[Pleasye]

There was a good thread on this a while back...I believe the consensus was that 3L was the best year to be pregnant (after having received a job offer or something like that).

here's the link: http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/v ... =3&t=38777

[NU_Jet55]

i love it how every one who responded so far is a male.

What difference does that make?

If what I hear about Law school is accurate, and what I know about being pregnant is accurate, you shouldn't mix them.

I guess it depends on whether you think you're capable of handling that. I mean, I suppose it's not a priori impossible, but I bet dollars to donuts you end up neglecting either your kids, your studies, or both.

because no male knows how it is to be actually pregnant and you're trying to offer advice on something that you can only guess on. all you're offering is hearsay and an opinion (more like a guess) on something that you don't and won't know.

I would wager that many 0L 20-something females also don't know what it's like to be pregnant. Who cares what gender you are? The OP is asking for advice, and if you have an opinion (or guess), give it. It's up to the OP to decide whether to follow it or not.

[finalaspects]

I've never had AIDS and I've never gone to law school. So is it unreasonable for me to make the proposition that I wouldn't want to contract AIDS during law school? Is this just hearsay that I can only guess on? (I'm not trying to compare a baby to AIDS please don't yell at me).

lol on the don't yell at me. what i'm saying is you won't know what it feels like to have AIDS and go to law school. not that you wouldn't know whether or not you want to contract AIDS in law school.

and yes, those that have wives with children have a much better idea but its still hearsay, and only a guess on what it must feel like.

[blue5385]

OP, another thing to consider is if firms would be more reluctant to hire you with a very young child. Like Pearalegal's firm, my firm is very generous with maternity leave and allowing working mothers to take a shortened work week, but I can't help but notice that there are no female partners and very few female associates in my group (the female associates we do have are mostly working moms with young kids). As someone who's planning to be a working mom in the future, I think this is really unfortunate, but I guess it's something to take into account if you're planning to put so much time, effort, and money into a law degree.

[Pearalegal]

and yes, those that have wives with children have a much better idea but its still hearsay, and only a guess on what it must feel like.

...couldn't it be argued that because each woman has radically different experiences with pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, that even a woman in the same exact position can only take a guess?

All opinions are valid. Maybe some are more informed than others, but still.

[mrsdraper]

It would seem to me that being pregnant during OCI would be a no-no because, like it or not, i doubt interviewers would look highly on pregnant women to hire for the following summer. Right?

[r6_philly]

And yes, those that have wives with children have a much better idea but its still hearsay, and only a guess on what it must feel like.

I think relaying what my wife expressed to me directly has to be more credible than "a guess".

If direct, in-person verbal communication is nothing more than a guess, than even a woman's response on an Internet forum wouldn't be anything more than "a guess" since OP would not be able to "sense" what another women felt like during a pregnancy.

[Pearalegal]

OP, another thing to consider is if firms would be more reluctant to hire you with a very young child. Like Pearalegal's firm, my firm is very generous with maternity leave and allowing working mothers to take a shortened work week, but I can't help but notice that there are no female partners and very few female associates in my group (the female associates we do have are mostly working moms with young kids). As someone who's planning to be a working mom in the future, I think this is really unfortunate, but I guess it's something to take into account if you're planning to put so much time, effort, and money into a law degree.

I've been lucky enough to work with many female partners at my firm with families, as well as married associates with children, married associates without children and single associates of all genders.

I'm only posting this to describe a situation that is different than what you've experienced, not to refute it.

[finalaspects]

I would wager that many 0L 20-something females also don't know what it's like to be pregnant. Who cares what gender you are? The OP is asking for advice, and if you have an opinion (or guess), give it. It's up to the OP to decide whether to follow it or not.

just like how the general public who knows nothing about certain issues will still vote on it regardless... maybe you should sign up for a forum that gives advice on medicine even though if you know nothing about that, and just give made up opinions on it and its up to the people who decide to follow it or not.

i don't mind people giving advice on things they don't know about. i just found it humorous that it was mostly males who doesn't have children or even a wife to give opinions like its a fact.

[seattlite]

I sat in on a 1L class just a few weeks ago and a girl in the class was a week overdue with her first baby...so it is definitely possible. She said it was stressful in that you have set classes with no latitude for picking classes on days or times that you want, but she said that the professors were working with her in terms of taking finals and getting notes during the couple of weeks that she probably will be out after having the baby. She said it would have been easier to be a 2L or 3L than a 1L, but you cannot time pregnancy.

I am thinking about this as well so please know that you are not alone. I have a feeling it is more common than you would think to be pregnant as a 1L (especially as people are starting to go back to school later in life).

I have heard that having a baby in law school is actually one of the best times to have a baby because after law school - when you are working your first job out of law school - the hours can be quite demanding whereas in law school (sans your 1st year), law school schedules are pretty flexible and reasonable. Though, again, the recommendation is to get pregnant in your 2L year or even in the fall or later of your 1L year so that you have the baby in summer or after 1L finals or in your 2L or 3L years. Having said that, being pregnant and even having a baby as a 1L is something that is done (don't let this TLS bulletin board scare you)...but the pregnant moms probably don't have the cycles to be in law school and on TLS.

BTW, having a baby in law school and possibly even as a 1L is something I am definitely considering. Of course, if the timing worked out and I found out I was pregnant before law school started, I would probably try to defer (because I think having a newborn would be easier than being pregnant), but sometimes in life, things work out so that you don't find key things out (like that you are pregnant) until after another key thing starts (e.g. law school semester). Hope this makes sense.

[Pearalegal]

just like how the general public who knows nothing about certain issues will still vote on it regardless... maybe you should sign up for a forum that gives advice on medicine even though if you know nothing about that,

Woah woah woah. NOT the same AT ALL. Medical advice does NOT equate to opinions about lifestyle and academics. Come on, now.

[finalaspects]

and yes, those that have wives with children have a much better idea but its still hearsay, and only a guess on what it must feel like.

...couldn't it be argued that because each woman has radically different experiences with pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, that even a woman in the same exact position can only take a guess?

All opinions are valid. Maybe some are more informed than others, but still.

yes but im guessing the OP is going under the assumption that most pregnancys are similar enough.

and yes all opinions are opinions. not sure about them all being valid, but yes some are more informed then others.

[r6_philly]

i don't mind people giving advice on things they don't know about. i just found it humorous that it was mostly males who doesn't have children or even a wife to give opinions like its a fact.

On an Internet forum like this one, there is not even concrete evidence that you are in fact a woman. (all I know is that you IMPLY you are one) I don't know how you can have any standing to discredit others. Your logic is lacking.

[finalaspects]

just like how the general public who knows nothing about certain issues will still vote on it regardless... maybe you should sign up for a forum that gives advice on medicine even though if you know nothing about that,

Woah woah woah. NOT the same AT ALL. Medical advice does NOT equate to opinions about lifestyle and academics. Come on, now.

lol yes i know its not the same. that was not my point. the fact of giving advice without knowing it was.

[IAFG]

tbf there is no good time to be pregnant or have an infant to care for.

[finalaspects]

i don't mind people giving advice on things they don't know about. i just found it humorous that it was mostly males who doesn't have children or even a wife to give opinions like its a fact.

On an Internet forum like this one, there is not even concrete evidence that you are in fact a woman. (all I know is that you IMPLY you are one) I don't know how you can have any standing to discredit others. Your logic is lacking.

what logic? i didn't make an argument there.... i just said i don't mind it, and that i found it humorous. and i was going under the assumption of people stating the truth that they are male or female (although on the internet you will never know).

[r6_philly]

lol yes i know its not the same. that was not my point. the fact of giving advice without knowing it was.

No one can prove that he/she knows anything for sure on an Internet forum. We should all cease giving advice all together by your logic.

[bigben]

I'm not aware of any physiological phenomenon that accompanies 1L year that would make it impossible to conceive.

[r6_philly]

what logic? i didn't make an argument there.... i just said i don't mind it, and that i found it humorous. and i was going under the assumption of people stating the truth that they are male or female (although on the internet you will never know).

So you have no real advice, you just wanted to come in here and say it's funny? So you are basically trolling? If you have nothing constructive to say, maybe you shouldn't say anything.

[09042014]

As someone who has neither been to law school nor had a baby, I say suck it up and have the little bastard during 1L. How hard can it be? Animals have babies and they don't even have houses.