DECEMBER 2014 WAITERS Forum

KanGaHru · Post by **KanGaHru** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:24 pm

jw316 wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Just had a fun giant blow out with my parents. Tears were involved. Ugh. Whatevaaaa
<3

I'm sorry Koala:( ..... Blow out fights suck!

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:25 pm

Basically same shit with me. Koala, let's get a fucking apartment and move out. I'm good with Philly.

Rigo · Post by **Rigo** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:25 pm

Rigo · Post by **Rigo** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:27 pm

KanGaHru · Post by **KanGaHru** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:28 pm

Dirigo wrote:
KanGaHru wrote:
jw316 wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Just had a fun giant blow out with my parents. Tears were involved. Ugh. Whatevaaaa
<3
I'm sorry JW ..... Blow out fights suck!
RC fail.

haha yup! I am embarrassed

KanGaHru · Post by **KanGaHru** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:29 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:Basically same shit with me. Koala, let's get a fucking apartment and move out. I'm good with Philly.

Lets be homeless people in New York. I've heard they make about $40,000/year!

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:29 pm

Ugh, just job/LSAT/"planning for your future" stuff. I'm kind of stuck right now because I don't know how the test went. I don't know if I should study, throw all my effort into finding a job, or applying. I guess it should really be all three. They just hate when I don't have a clear answer of what I'm doing and it just kind of blew up intensely. I think that's the hardest part - I honestly am at such a standstill, and I can't tell them exactly what I'm going to do right now because I seriously don't know. It doesn't help that I'm still really upset about last week and so I'm kind of down to begin with.

Sorry that doesn't even really describe what happened because it was such a blur tbh. Thank you all so much you're the best <333

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:31 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:Basically same shit with me. Koala, let's get a fucking apartment and move out. I'm good with Philly.

YES. Anyone else who wants to join is more than welcome

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:32 pm

Dirigo wrote:Stop being coy with your emotions/vents/rants.

.

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:34 pm

Sorry for the triple post but now I just got an endless text from my dad with a "list of things I need to do." I know that they're trying to help but this drives me INSANE. I am already totally overwhelmed and I feel like a five year old when they do this. I know they know a lot of stuff, but I know a lot too, and I'm aware of what needs to be done. I'm so frustrated ughhhh

mist4bison · Post by **mist4bison** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:35 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:
Dirigo wrote:Stop being coy with your emotions/vents/rants.
Fine, I'll bite.

That is utter bullshit. I'm so sorry, Shaq. I can't even imagine. I'd be so fucking pissed. There was really no apology from them whatsoever? That makes the lying 10x worse. Jesus.

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:36 pm

koala-fy wrote:Sorry for the triple post but now I just got an endless text from my dad with a "list of things I need to do." I know that they're trying to help but this drives me INSANE. I am already totally overwhelmed and I feel like a five year old when they do this. I know they know a lot of stuff, but I know a lot too, and I'm aware of what needs to be done. I'm so frustrated ughhhh

Never do things because other people, especially your parents, are guilting you into doing them. It's your life. You have to be happy with the decisions you make at the end of the day. Your parents can't be the pilots, that wouldn't be fair to you.

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:36 pm

Oh Shak, I'm so sorry, that sucks. I wish I could give you a hug

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:37 pm

mist4bison wrote:
Shakawkaw wrote:
Dirigo wrote:Stop being coy with your emotions/vents/rants.
Fine, I'll bite.
That is utter bullshit. I'm so sorry, Shaq. I can't even imagine. I'd be so fucking pissed. There was really no apology from them whatsoever? That makes the lying 10x worse. Jesus.

My mom's reaction was "Omg you're just jealous that we went without you. Deal with it. We gave you a second chance by letting you move back home."

And I'm just like Uhh, if that's the kind of person you think I am, then we clearly don't know each other.

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:40 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Sorry for the triple post but now I just got an endless text from my dad with a "list of things I need to do." I know that they're trying to help but this drives me INSANE. I am already totally overwhelmed and I feel like a five year old when they do this. I know they know a lot of stuff, but I know a lot too, and I'm aware of what needs to be done. I'm so frustrated ughhhh
Never do things because other people, especially your parents, are guilting you into doing them. It's your life. You have to be happy with the decisions you make at the end of the day. Your parents can't be the pilots, that wouldn't be fair to you.

Yeah definitely. It was stuff like "send me a list of places you apply for jobs" (like what?!), "update your LinkedIn" like thank you, I'm aware. The worst part of this is that they do have a right, in a sense, to tell me these things because I DO live with them. At this point I am still dependent on them in a sense.

mist4bison · Post by **mist4bison** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:40 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:
mist4bison wrote:
Shakawkaw wrote:
Dirigo wrote:Stop being coy with your emotions/vents/rants.
Fine, I'll bite.
That is utter bullshit. I'm so sorry, Shaq. I can't even imagine. I'd be so fucking pissed. There was really no apology from them whatsoever? That makes the lying 10x worse. Jesus.
My mom's reaction was "Omg you're just jealous that we went without you. Deal with it. We gave you a second chance by letting you move back home."

And I'm just like Uhh, if that's the kind of person you think I am, then we clearly don't know each other.

Jesus christ. They make it sound like you were like hooked on heroin or something. And obviously it's not the fact that they went, it's the fact that they excluded you and then lied about it. Anyone would be upset by that.

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:42 pm

koala-fy wrote:
Shakawkaw wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Sorry for the triple post but now I just got an endless text from my dad with a "list of things I need to do." I know that they're trying to help but this drives me INSANE. I am already totally overwhelmed and I feel like a five year old when they do this. I know they know a lot of stuff, but I know a lot too, and I'm aware of what needs to be done. I'm so frustrated ughhhh
Never do things because other people, especially your parents, are guilting you into doing them. It's your life. You have to be happy with the decisions you make at the end of the day. Your parents can't be the pilots, that wouldn't be fair to you.
Yeah definitely. It was stuff like "send me a list of places you apply for jobs" (like what?!), "update your LinkedIn" like thank you, I'm aware. The worst part of this is that they do have a right, in a sense, to tell me these things because I DO live with them. At this point I am still dependent on them in a sense.

I get what you're saying. It's all power dynamics, which sucks. You live in my house, you are under my control. But at the same time, it is bizarre. Like, okay, I get that I am dependent on you for a place to sleep and to eat, and I am very grateful, but why can't we default to being a respectful family that treats each other as equals? Especially since you're a college graduate!!! I appreciate anyone's advice, but don't get personally offended and lash out at me if I decide I do not want to go that route.

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:43 pm

Mist, thanks bb. You get me gurl.

hillz · Post by **hillz** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:43 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Sorry for the triple post but now I just got an endless text from my dad with a "list of things I need to do." I know that they're trying to help but this drives me INSANE. I am already totally overwhelmed and I feel like a five year old when they do this. I know they know a lot of stuff, but I know a lot too, and I'm aware of what needs to be done. I'm so frustrated ughhhh
Never do things because other people, especially your parents, are guilting you into doing them. It's your life. You have to be happy with the decisions you make at the end of the day. Your parents can't be the pilots, that wouldn't be fair to you.

Yes. There have been quite a few times in the past where I was making a major life decision and my parents tried to push me into doing something. I ended up making the opposite choice and it made things super tense and horrible in the moment. I think sometimes parents are upset for you and don't know what to do, so they end up being pushy or mad at you instead of channeling emotions productively. It ends up working out in the end and your happiness is most important, so push through and do what you know to be the right thing for you. Easier said than done, I know.

mist4bison · Post by **mist4bison** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:46 pm

hillz wrote:
Shakawkaw wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Sorry for the triple post but now I just got an endless text from my dad with a "list of things I need to do." I know that they're trying to help but this drives me INSANE. I am already totally overwhelmed and I feel like a five year old when they do this. I know they know a lot of stuff, but I know a lot too, and I'm aware of what needs to be done. I'm so frustrated ughhhh
Never do things because other people, especially your parents, are guilting you into doing them. It's your life. You have to be happy with the decisions you make at the end of the day. Your parents can't be the pilots, that wouldn't be fair to you.
Yes. There have been quite a few times in the past where I was making a major life decision and my parents tried to push me into doing something. I ended up making the opposite choice and it made things super tense and horrible in the moment. I think sometimes parents are upset for you and don't know what to do, so they end up being pushy or mad at you instead of channeling emotions productively. It ends up working out in the end and your happiness is most important, so push through and do what you know to be the right thing for you. Easier said than done, I know.

On the other end of that, I've had the same situation and went with the majority (family) choice. Even still, I kind of resent them for pushing me away from what I wanted. And I completely regret not choosing for myself. Definitely make your own choices, even if it creates tension in the short term, because in the long run it's your game and no one else's.

Sorry you two are going through such crappy situations.

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:47 pm

Shakawkaw wrote:
koala-fy wrote:Yeah definitely. It was stuff like "send me a list of places you apply for jobs" (like what?!), "update your LinkedIn" like thank you, I'm aware. The worst part of this is that they do have a right, in a sense, to tell me these things because I DO live with them. At this point I am still dependent on them in a sense.
I get what you're saying. It's all power dynamics, which sucks. You live in my house, you are under my control. But at the same time, it is bizarre. Like, okay, I get that I am dependent on you for a place to sleep and to eat, and I am very grateful, but why can't we default to being a respectful family that treats each other as equals? Especially since you're a college graduate!!! I appreciate anyone's advice, but don't get personally offended and lash out at me if I decide I do not want to go that route.

Exactly. It sucks so much. A lot of their anger stems from some huge mistakes I've made in the past couple years. I was dealing with stuff in my personal life that made me make the bad decisions that are coming back to haunt me, and that help me see why they're being like this right now. But of course, they don't know that I was dealing with the stuff, they just thought I was being irresponsible and stupid. I'm starting to wonder if I should just tell them what was happening back then.

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:47 pm

KanGaHru wrote:
Shakawkaw wrote:Basically same shit with me. Koala, let's get a fucking apartment and move out. I'm good with Philly.
Lets be homeless people in New York. I've heard they make about $40,000/year!

[youtube]bmav517MQJc[/youtube]

KanGaHru · Post by **KanGaHru** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:47 pm

koala-fy wrote:Ugh, just job/LSAT/"planning for your future" stuff. I'm kind of stuck right now because I don't know how the test went. I don't know if I should study, throw all my effort into finding a job, or applying. I guess it should really be all three. They just hate when I don't have a clear answer of what I'm doing and it just kind of blew up intensely. I think that's the hardest part - I honestly am at such a standstill, and I can't tell them exactly what I'm going to do right now because I seriously don't know. It doesn't help that I'm still really upset about last week and so I'm kind of down to begin with.

Sorry that doesn't even really describe what happened because it was such a blur tbh. Thank you all so much you're the best <333

Ask them nicely to lay off with the questions and pressure for 2-3 weeks since you are in a state of limbo. Re-assure them that you know what you are doing and that their thoughts will be more useful at that time. Then you will have your score and will be better able to plan. Also, don't let the uncertainties and stresses of life get to you right now because you don't yet know for sure how the test went. Just put it out of your mind and relax. Even in worst case scenario you will not be any worse off taking the next few weeks easy then you would be panicking the whole time. You should just focus on apps and keep positive right now and wait to prepare to change your path when you have more information (2-3 weeks from now).

koala-fy · Post by **koala-fy** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:51 pm

Hillz and Mist - thank you so much for the advice. It means a lot to hear experiences and wise words. It really is easier said than done, but I also know that they want me to be happy, and sometimes I have to figure out what that is for me by myself. I know they're not doing this from a negative place. But seriously, it's not like I WANT this. I don't WANT to be stuck like this and have all this uncertainty. Sometimes it seems like they think I'm enjoying this.

And Kanga, thank you so much too! A state of limbo is exactly what it is. I really should apply for jobs too. It just sucks because I might have to be studying for February, in which case I wouldn't want to be working, ideally.

Shakawkaw · Post by **Shakawkaw** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:52 pm

You're applying this cycle, Koala?

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