While I appreciate what some of the earlier posters are trying to do in terms of advice, this is the first set that's made sense to me (though Jaqen's points are good, too). It's hard to draw conclusions about the quality of a relationship based on a couple sentences.NYC-WVU wrote: But seriously. If you decide to move together, I think you need to acknowledge, to yourself, how much he will be sacrificing to move with you. And you'll owe him pretty big for making the move. But you should also agree to what would be acceptable for him to do after you move. Can he just get a J.O.B. for a while to help pay rent without any specific career path (e.g., bartender)? How long can he keep doing that? If he can't find a new career, how long can he spin his wheels before he tries to go to school? I think you just need to be open and honest with what your expectations are. The fact that he's going to ASW in Berkeley with you is a very good sign. He might just need some acknowledgement from you that you are going to be the breadwinner for a while and that you won't pressure him to make big advances right away.
On a side note, it actually sounds like he could use being a house-husband for a while. Maybe learn how to balance a checkbook.
OP, maybe he can throw some apps out in Boston/SF and gauge potential employer interest? Also, while I appreciate how difficult LTRs can be (having previously been in a couple), what might be best is for you to go where is best for you, while he stays behind in NYC and works while looking for a job in Boston/SF. Hopefully he can find one before too long, and the option for him to move there jobless (or just visit on occasional weekends while working at his current gig) is still on the table if the distance gets to be too difficult. You wouldn't be "losing" your bf unless you both decided not to try the LTR, in which case... well, let me put it this way. Some relationships that otherwise might have survived will fail due to LTR, but perhaps not the right ones, and it's probably a sign of something if distance is totally insurmountable. But that may be an assumption too far, too.
