Wedding the Weekend before the Bar Forum

[bda]

One of my close friends is getting married out of state the weekend before the NY bar (July 22nd). I can make it into a two day trip, (drive up on Saturday, down on Sunday) and still study some Sunday night but Saturday will be out for the most part.

The NY Bar begins on Tuesday so I will be studying/traveling on Monday.

Is it totally irresponsible to say that I can make the wedding? Obviously will have to RSVP sooner than I will know my status of studying.

[Ronan]

This is pretty tough. I was told to take the day before the Bar off to relax, and I mainly did that. I also crammed pretty hard the weekend immediately before. I don't think I personally could have gone to a wedding the weekend before the exam.

[tfer2222]

Just don't drink and plan ahead so you don't even need to cram the few days before.

I personally hate cramming and I like going into exams relaxed and ready, so I made sure to get way ahead in studying/prep and I didn't do much if any studying during the 1-3 days before the exam, outside of just casually flipping through flashcards and drilling some memorization stuff. I did not do the whole wait-until-after-July-4th thing to start studying hard, as a lot of people do. I studied hard all of June, because I was personally too OCD not to.

If you plan ahead and dedicate more time earlier on, I don't think it'll be a problem.

[RaceJudicata]

Is it possible to take a train to the wedding location? (Or close enough to have someone pick you up?)

[puremorning]

Honestly I would say don't do it. The only person I've known to go to a wedding the weekend before the bar was in the wedding and it created so much anxiety. If it's a close friend they will understand. It sucks to miss weddings of people close to you, but it happens.

[bda]

I can have someone else drive me to the wedding so I can theoretically be doing some light studying in the car (flashcards, etc. while trying to not get car sick) but that's about the most I could do. Train isn't an option.

[iwantmybar]

I dont wan't to be a dick but I think that someone in his mid twenties that graduated from law school and thus took many important exams should not ask this kind of question. It's up to you to take this decision. You know your studies habits and abilities to learn better than we do.

Some people could go the wedding and do fine on the exam while others (like me) typically need to study super hard the night before the exam. I think that people who say "don't study the day before, watch a movie or so" are so wrong. Some people need to rest and watch a movie while some others have to study.

[NoDayButToday]

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[A. Nony Mouse]

FWIW, my issue at that point in my studying was that I wasn't fit to be in the company of humans not also studying for the bar. I stopped going out about 3 weeks before, not because I thought it was going to make me fail/I needed to study non-stop, I just really couldn't stop thinking about the bar and didn't enjoy going out. I never got this worked up over exams before and it really was something I didn't predict but couldn't control. So I would have been a horrible wedding guest the weekend before the bar. But other people might really be able to enjoy it and find it a useful distraction/mental break. So it probably depends on how you react to this kind of stress.

[Piel]

I agree with Nony. I was a stressed out wreck the weekend before the NY bar. For what it's worth, some of my friends who are normally the types to go see a movie and relax the night before an exam were also pretty stressed (though not quite as bad as me). At that point, I had convinced myself I was probably going to fail, and those last few days before the bar were critical for me being able to pull it together (I passed despite my self-doubt).

If you're a procrastinator or usually cram right before an exam (like me), I would say think very carefully before accepting the invitation to attend the wedding. I think it's unlikely that you'll be able to change your study habits/behavior drastically to be prepared ahead of time for the wedding.

If you're the type to have finished everything way ahead of time, I don't think attending the wedding will be a huge issue for you.

[mjb447]

+1 to everyone saying that this depends completely on what you're like, even though it's a little early to know (the bar is very much its own thing, and it stresses out a lot of people who are fine during other exams). I would've felt comfortable doing this - compared to other law students, I almost always hit the pseudo-zen "I either know it now or I never will" phase of studying pretty early - but I had a lot of classmates who would not.

[rcharter1978]

Agree it depends on you. Knowing that you have to go to a wedding may make you plan your last few study says better.

If it were me, I may just make the wedding, which should be an hour or so and skip the reception. But I guess if you're driving that far you'd want to stay for the whole thing.

How long is the drive? If you drive back Saturday after the wedding would you be home by sunday so you have Sunday and Monday to last minute study/rest?

[Ronan]

Agree it depends on you. Knowing that you have to go to a wedding may make you plan your last few study says better.

If it were me, I may just make the wedding, which should be an hour or so and skip the reception. But I guess if you're driving that far you'd want to stay for the whole thing.

How long is the drive? If you drive back Saturday after the wedding would you be home by sunday so you have Sunday and Monday to last minute study/rest?

If you decide to only go to the ceremony and not the reception, for the love of God do not rsvp. Ive seen people skip the reception without telling the bride and groom and that's the ultimate dick move, especially when you're seat costs $$.

But that's all besides the ultimate point--I just don't want OP to have some bad karma or anything for the Bar.

[rcharter1978]

Agree it depends on you. Knowing that you have to go to a wedding may make you plan your last few study says better.

If it were me, I may just make the wedding, which should be an hour or so and skip the reception. But I guess if you're driving that far you'd want to stay for the whole thing.

How long is the drive? If you drive back Saturday after the wedding would you be home by sunday so you have Sunday and Monday to last minute study/rest?

If you decide to only go to the ceremony and not the reception, for the love of God do not rsvp. Ive seen people skip the reception without telling the bride and groom and that's the ultimate dick move, especially when you're seat costs $$.

But that's all besides the ultimate point--I just don't want OP to have some bad karma or anything for the Bar.

You're absolutely right. I hadn't thought about that, but yeah reception seats can cost as much as a seat at a Lakers game .

[jir92]

Oh come on. Go to your friend's wedding. You will make the time up during Monday by adding an extra hour or taking fewer breaks and you can get an hour or two of studying in during breakfast over the weekend. Go to the wedding and enjoy it.

[Npret]

How much are you going to learn at that point anyway? If you don't know it, are you really going to learn it that close to the exam?
I would go for the complete change of scenery. Support your friend.