Clerkship decision angst Forum

[Anonymous User]

This is kind of an embarrassing post. I graduated from HYS, around top 10-20% (I think—always hard to tell with these schools). I recently threw my hat in the clerkship ring and did much better than I expected. I snagged a CA 2/9/DC clerkship with a famous judge pretty early on in the process. Then I got offers from SDNY and CDCA/NDCA, my top two districts, in that order. Despite really wanting to take the SDNY offer, I decided against it for a couple reasons. CDCA/NDCA is closer to home, it’s where I intend to practice long-term, and it made sense for my relationship.

My partner is a rising 3L at a regional law school in California. They’ve generally been open to living and practicing in NY, but the timeline was a bit scary. My ’26 appellate clerkship is in a city neither of us intends to live in, so we agreed we’d do long distance for that year (they’d be in SoCal/NorCal for their first job, with friends and family, and I’d be in the other city clerking). The idea of practicing in California for one year, then moving to NY, taking the NY bar, etc.—especially when NY was always a short-term play for us (2-4 years)—didn’t sit well with my partner. They’ve always been there for me and sacrificed so much, and that moment was the first time I could truly put my money where my mouth is and show my commitment to our relationship, instead of chasing another gold star. So I went with CDCA/NDCA.

With all that said, every now and then, I feel a pang in my heart for forgoing something I was so excited about. Then I feel guilty because I’m still thinking about it. Ultimately, I’d make the same decision again, because my partner is far more important to me than anything else. But man, how do I get over this?

Sorry, I don’t know if TLS is the right forum to share stuff like this, but perhaps there’s someone out there who navigated a similar situation in the past. In any event, I’d really appreciate any words of wisdom.

[Amerision]

These decisions are always going to be intensely personal, and there's a good chance that no matter what decision you make, there will always be a bit of FOMO. You'll always wonder what the clerkship could have been, or what it could have provided. If you ended up in New York, and your partner broke up with you, you might wonder if that SDNY clerkship was really worth it. At the end of the day, you're going to clerk, and the experience probably wouldn't be much different from the one in SDNY. You're also planning to be in CA long-term and it's likely that any "additional" boost SDNY would have provided is at least somewhat offset by the proximity of your judges to your place of practice.

That said, if this is something that makes you feel weird, it's probably partially because this is your first time not taking the shiniest gold star. But I think as you progress through your career, you'll grow to realize that gold stars are shiny and nice, but you would trade them all for another day with your partner or parent or whoever. Your career will go great and there's nothing at all for you to worry about. Enjoy the ride.

[Anonymous User]

The idea that 9CA/CDCA is somehow creating a difference in your career compared to 9CA/SDNY is a little ridiculous to feel FOMO unless you desperately want to be an SDNY AUSA or something.