Need advice about getting through the next few days and next steps Forum

[adviceplease2000]

--Please don't quote--

Hi all,

Having kind of a rough time right now and was hoping to get some advice on what I should do. Some background- I'm a 2L at a T14 taking my fed income final on Wednesday and have a 20 page essay due Friday (that I've barely started). I am supposed to move next week for my SA in one of the major, but very expensive, cities. I was planning on staying with my long term SO for the summer. I'm sure you can see where this is heading...

My SO and I had a very bad breakup this morning that has lasted throughout the day (they wouldn't stop calling, texting, etc.). I'm feeling down and overwhelmed rn. I was on a good roll before today for my tax final, but haven't been able to study all day (and I really needed today/this finals period to study). I'm also panicking about finding housing for the summer so last minute- I checked CL and Airbnb and there is very little available to start on such short notice and they are incredibly expensive. I even called all of the local universities about summer student housing and nothing is open.

I'm hoping to get some insight on how to get back into the mindset to be able to cram the last 24 hours before the exam with this going on and any advice about how to find summer housing so soon.

Please excuse any typos or anything. Thank you in advance- struggling hard right now.

[Npret]

1. Major cities always have places to live. Figure that out later. I remember a poster here years ago even stayed in a hostel. You can figure something out. Worry about that after you finish your paper.

2. You can't fail exams. Make a schedule for how you are going to get everything done. That way you won't be constantly thinking about what to do next.

3. Turn off your phone if you have to. Go study with friends if that will help you.

[snowball2]

Check with medical schools as well. You may not find availability for the whole summer but they may be able to accommodate you for a few weeks while you're looking for something else.

[lakers180]

spend all weekend looking for housing, you'll find something. and until then do your paper and study. so don't even worry about it until then. also what city?

[Barrred]

You're going to have to do some serious mental compartmentalization. The most important and most immediate thing to deal with is your exam and paper.

Here's what you do: call your loved-ones and tell them you are going off the grid for a few days, and then (a) turn off your phone, and (b) de-activate your social media accounts. You are going to have to put the breakup out of your mind. Give yourself advanced permission to wallow in agony and spend all day eating junk-food and watching breakup movies AFTER your Friday exam, but the catch is that in order to get permission to do that, you have to completely turn-off that part of your brain for the next few days. You have to become a study robot. Every time you catch yourself thinking about the breakup (or about your housing situation), make a noise out loud (i'm serious, a loud noise, like ERRRRRR!!!), which is going to be your reset signal. Whenever you start having bad/unproductive thoughts, you make your reset noise, change your state, and shift gears back to robot-study-mode. When you are in robot-study-mode, you have given yourself permission to be focused on a singular mission, and not to feel human emotions. You can do it.

Similarly, don't worry about the housing situation until after Friday. If you have a loved-one (mom, dad, sibling, etc.) that you can put on solving this task while you study, do that, but you have to be SUPER clear with them that they are NOT to bother you with this under any circumstances, not even to tell you that they found something, or to ask how you are feeling. You are going radio-silent, and are compartmentalizing this problem until after your extremely important exam. Tell them that if they want to help, they can look into this problem for you, but they can't contact you about it until after your Friday deadline.

You will find housing. Like a previous poster said, there is always excess housing in big cities. Further, your law firm may be able to help you out (they often have relationships with corporate housing places, etc.). But again, don't worry about this until the weekend, when you should contact your firm and tell them what just happened. You are going to be highly compensated for the summer, worst comes to worst you live in a hotel for a week or so before you find something else.

basically: compartmentalize all three problems, first, cut all ties to the outside world, go into crazy-robot-study-mode and bang out your last final and essay. Then, and only then, give yourself permission to wallow in break-up-induced sorrow, and solve the housing problem (you will find something). If you can have someone start looking into the housing situation now, do that, but only if they promise not to bother you with anything housing related until after Friday.

[Npret]

Hey OP: how are you doing?

[adviceplease2000]

Hey. Thanks for all of the advice- it was really helpful. I turned everything off for a few days, which was a good break. As everyone mentioned, I was able to find a place to live yesterday. It's a little more than I wanted to pay but I'm thankful to have found something I like this late in the game. Ended up w a B in fed income- which I'm happy with considering.

Beyond relieved that this week is finally over. Thanks again for the advice and for checking in. Thinking about planning a tropical vacay in August just because.

[Npret]

Hey. Thanks for all of the advice- it was really helpful. I turned everything off for a few days, which was a good break. As everyone mentioned, I was able to find a place to live yesterday. It's a little more than I wanted to pay but I'm thankful to have found something I like this late in the game. Ended up w a B in fed income- which I'm happy with considering.

Beyond relieved that this week is finally over. Thanks again for the advice and for checking in. Thinking about planning a tropical vacay in August just because.

Thanks for posting to let us know. You did well under a lot of stress at a tough time. Enjoy your summer and take a vacation for sure if you want. Be sure to take advantage of the city where you are summering as well.

[2807]

..oh.. just read that you solved this already..

deleted

[ambience]

Hey OP. I'm really glad everything worked out well for you, and hope you get to fit a good break somewhere in during the summer. Posting just to say thank you for posting this in the first place. The sort of situation you relayed is incredibly stressful and hard to navigate when you're in it, but it's not all too uncommon--at least, I've been exactly there before and it's horrible. It helps that this out there, to know I (/we, as I imagine others can also relate) am not alone, that these things happen, and that they can be gotten through. Best wishes this summer.

[PeanutsNJam]

Wow that is an incredibly fast grade turnaround. 2 days!

[Thelaw23]

Why I'm set on being single 1L