Brainstorm Health - Law School Marriage Casualty Forum

[MarriageCasualty]

All,

I need some brainstorming help to make sure I protect myself and my spouse's interest. With two months remaining until graduation, it looks as if we are going to join the statistics of married couples succumbing to law school divorce. Everything we own is together; though my spouse has contributed the vast majority of capital pre- and post-law school. What pitfalls should we consider and avoid?

Obviously, I'll be entertaining legal counsel. But, you all know the financial constraints a law student faces, so I would appreciate any advice and brainstorming you can share.

[goldeneye]

You won't find legal advice on here. Sorry for your situation, though.

[A. Nony Mouse]

Yeah, no one here can give you legal advice, because it's against the rules. However, if anyone has any logistical/emotional advice from going through a similar situation, they should feel free to weigh in. Sorry to hear about your situation.

[MarriageCasualty]

I understand and respect the proscription on legal advice. That was phrased inartfully. This is just embarrassing, and I need help. Even a kind word goes a long way.

[rpupkin]

I understand and respect the proscription on legal advice. That was phrased inartfully. This is just embarrassing, and I need help. Even a kind word goes a long way.

Sorry about your situation. On a slightly positive note, I think it's much better that this is happening now instead of a year or so down the road, when you're dealing with the stresses of law firm life. You have more time right now to deal with the emotional and logistical hardships that accompany the end of a marriage. You'll also have a chance to feel like you're "starting over" when you begin life single at your new job. I know you feel horrible in many ways right now, but there are bright times ahead.

[Fed_Atty]

I won't give you legal advice, but I do work on divorce cases. You stated that you want to protect your interests and your spouse's. At some point that likely won't be possible. You don't have to make it a knock down drag out battle, but be ready to go to the mat. These things have a habit of turning nasty, even when both parties are largely in agreement at the outset.

[newyorker88]

Maybe you should try seeing a counselor. They've deal with a lot of people going through divorce and can maybe help you with what to expect.

[bobbypin]

Maybe you should try seeing a counselor. They've deal with a lot of people going through divorce and can maybe help you with what to expect.

This.

As for legal-ish advice, moving on with life w/o your spouse is much easier if you are able to walk away without completely decimating each other in the process. Hiring the shark divorce attorney may win you the stuff but remember that your spouse is someone you once loved, who loved you. That person is still in there somewhere. Know what your drop-dead bottom line is. Litigating a divorce is fucking miserable. If you and your soon-to-be ex can agree to the details, you will both be happier for it.

Good luck to you.

[Lwoods]

Hey--sounds rough. I got divorced fall of 1L year. We were in a state that allows dissolutions. It was fantastic. We didn't have any squabbles about anything, really. Our only real joint property were the cats, but as my ex is a little OCD, he let me keep them, Everything else we split down the middle or just took what we wanted. There wasn't really any overlap.

I got a lawyer; my ex went without. My lawyer helped me itemize our stuff, sort out who got what, drew up an agreement, and filed it with the court. We got a court date for 45 days later. I think the judge just asked us if we still wanted the dissolution, and we said yes. Maybe there was more to it, but not much. Changing my name back was a bigger hassle.

I don't mean to seem flip. I just want to reassure you that divorce doesn't necessarily have to be a battle. Feel free to PM me if you'd like.