ITT: suggest funny phrases for oral arguments Forum

[target]

My oral argument is pass/fail, so instead of taking it too seriously, I am looking for suggestions on all sorts of jokes, satire, limerick, etc that I can use in my oral argument. The funnier, the better. Political jokes are preferred.

[monkey85]

Say that you have 3 arguments but you only remember 2 of them.

Say oops somewhere in there.

When the bench grills you and backs you into a corner, ask if you can start over like an etch a sketch.

GOP and DONE.

[joemoviebuff]

Argue that the court doesn't have jurisdiction to hear the case.

[kalvano]

Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.

[monkey85]

Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.

awesome

[traehekat]

Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.

awesome

[Cupidity]

Opening line: "Your Honors, I'm not here to make friends."

[Cupidity]

Also, refer to opposing council as Brother/Sister.

People seriously do that in moot court, and it still cracks me up every time.

[vpintz]

Randomly insert the word "meow" into your argument.

And when you're called out for doing so, quote Super Troopers. TYIA.

"Did I say meow? Do I look like a cat to you? Do you see me jumping all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?"

[thegrayman]

Object to everything your opposing counsel says

you: "Objection, relevance."

judge: "You can't object to your opponent's argument counsel"

you: "Sustained!"

[jkay]

Open with: "Your honor, may I pleasure the court?"