At a loss Forum

[ld5]

My significant other is a 1L at a top law school (different school-- we are long distance).

For the last semester, he has been sinking deeper into a cycle of depression and procrastination and self-destruction. The pressure he has placed on himself and now the amount of blame he sets upon himself for failure is unbelievable. He refuses to go into to detail with me but it sounds like he is far behind. I have no idea how far. Sometimes he doesn't sleep. Obviously now finals are upon us and I don't know what is going to happen.

I have been suggesting for months he needs to talk to the counseling center, a prof, anything. He refuses to talk to anyone, including friends/family, despite acknowledging that he has problems. I know they would be a source of support but he won't even consider letting me talking to them for him.

What can I do? What should he do? I am so very worried. I have known him for six years and before this he was the most even-keeled, adjusted person I know.

[kalvano]

How long distance? Maybe a road trip or flight is in order. Much harder to refuse someone in person than over the phone.

[Cavalier]

Destroying a bridge might look easy in the movies, but remember: They're designed to withstand the immense shear-forces of wind and weather. Deploying an underwater M-32 satchel charge at the base of each load-bearing pylon looks like the answer, but it might not even shake a modern riveted steel highway or railroad bridge. Without delving into the complex language of the guerrilla combat engineer, the best advice I can give you is to forgo subtlety in favor of brute force: Put two satchel charges at each X-shaped trestle buck, and this should rob the bridge of any reinforcing strength and cause it to buckle nicely.

[rose711]

My significant other is a 1L at a top law school (different school-- we are long distance).

For the last semester, he has been sinking deeper into a cycle of depression and procrastination and self-destruction. The pressure he has placed on himself and now the amount of blame he sets upon himself for failure is unbelievable. He refuses to go into to detail with me but it sounds like he is far behind. I have no idea how far. Sometimes he doesn't sleep. Obviously now finals are upon us and I don't know what is going to happen.

I have been suggesting for months he needs to talk to the counseling center, a prof, anything. He refuses to talk to anyone, including friends/family, despite acknowledging that he has problems. I know they would be a source of support but he won't even consider letting me talking to them for him.

What can I do? What should he do? I am so very worried. I have known him for six years and before this he was the most even-keeled, adjusted person I know.

If he is obviously this depressed then I think you need to contact his family if you are close to them. If that is not a good idea, then contact the dean at his school. You should not let him- with his skewed view of the world from his depression- decide whether you contact people to get help for him. You have to make your own decision about what is best here.

He isn't going to get better, nor will this situation improve, until he gets some help and talks about his issues. Avoiding dealing with them will only make his life worse.

[dooood]

My significant other is a 1L at a top law school (different school-- we are long distance).

For the last semester, he has been sinking deeper into a cycle of depression and procrastination and self-destruction. The pressure he has placed on himself and now the amount of blame he sets upon himself for failure is unbelievable. He refuses to go into to detail with me but it sounds like he is far behind. I have no idea how far. Sometimes he doesn't sleep. Obviously now finals are upon us and I don't know what is going to happen.

I have been suggesting for months he needs to talk to the counseling center, a prof, anything. He refuses to talk to anyone, including friends/family, despite acknowledging that he has problems. I know they would be a source of support but he won't even consider letting me talking to them for him.

What can I do? What should he do? I am so very worried. I have known him for six years and before this he was the most even-keeled, adjusted person I know.

I would tell him to go to the dean immediately and see if he can drop his classes this semester and retake them in the fall. If he's really in such bad shape (and it sounds like he is), he's going to get very bad grades. If he could retake the classes in the fall and delay OCI for a year, that would be the best thing for him. Being that exams have started, though, it's extremely unlikely he'll be able to do this. But it's worth a shot.

[CanadianWolf]

Contact his parents & let them know of your concerns. Visit him.