Long distance relationship during 1L Forum

[acdisagod]

Is it feasible to spend maybe three weekends a month with a girlfriend who is 2-3 hours away? Will work/ trying to maintain a social life make this impossible? I also may not have a car but she will. It's a pretty serious relationship and I have already spent one year in the U.K. away from her. It didn't go great because I was a 1L at a top law school abroad and was swamped with work but we stuck it out and made it work and I'm happy that we did.

[Cavalier]

Better to let it end now than two months into 1L year.

[acdisagod]

Well I just posted an edit saying that it's a serious relationship as we have been together for almost four years now and we did the long distance thing once. My question isn't about whether or not to end it, just about the feasibility of spending that much time together.

[snowpeach06]

Long distance relationships rarely work. I won't say never, because I have a friend who has managed to make it work with a guy in London, but they knew it would only be temporary, as she is moving out there next year. 3 years is a different story. Unless you are really truly in love and think you've found your soulmate, I wouldn't bother trying to make it work.

[NewHere]

2/3 hours isn't really long distance.

I think you'll be fine. Three weekends a month may not work out every single month (especially during finals time), but so long as she knows that you're very busy, and that when you're spending the weekend together you'll probably be studying for part of that weekend, I see no reason it couldn't work.

1L year is very busy, but not so busy that after your last classes on Friday (or Thursday, as the case may be) you can't spare a few hours to travel before hitting the books again.

[GZL]

I wish my relationship were long distance at this point.... lower expectations of time commitments, no dropping by in the the middle of an "oh shit I have two days before the final" study session, etc. etc. etc. My recommendation is: just make sure it STAYS a long distance relationship, and you should be fine.

[Jordan77]

I was able to maintain a LDR throughout 1L and we did not see each other very often aside from breaks because we were many states apart. If you are in a committed relationship and want to make it work, you can. LDRs are hard, but if both people are invested in making it work, it can. It especially helps if it is only 1 year...

With regard to your question about the practicality of spending 3 weekends with her, you could probably do this until it gets close to finals (about a month before finals), especially if she is the one driving the 3 hours. You could always put in 5 hours on weekends that you see her (wake up early in the morning to get some work done, or stay up a little later) if you manage your time well. For instance, I only need like 5 hours of sleep to function, so I can sacrifice some sleep to study and hang out with my significant other. But you certainly will have free time to do things you want leading up to finals. Maybe even do 2 weeks a month. I don't think you would fall behind as long as you reserve all your time for finals prep in the last month.

You will inevitably need to spend some time on weekends preparing for Monday classes, and reviewing notes a little. Hope that helps.

tl;dr - Yes, you can probably make it work... just manage your time well and don't see each other for the month leading up to finals.

[acdisagod]

Thx for the advice, and yes I am pretty determined at this point to make it work. I already made it clear to her that during finals we may not see each other as much and she will have to be the one to come visit me. It's good to know that some of you think 2-3 hours isn't too bad and I should have the time.

Oh and by the way I did read and thank you. I'm glad it worked out for you. We're both hoping she gets into grad school at my school next year, she has stellar grades and experience so I think she will.

[shmoo597]

It can totally work. I am about to finish my 1L year. Girlfriend lives in SF, I'm in LA. That's a 1 hour plane flight, 6-7 hour drive. Saw each other about every 2 weeks...mostly her flying down to see me, or us driving and meeting in the middle. Of course she was understanding that I had a lot of work to do, and sometimes when she came down, we spent a Saturday night in the library. If shes ok with that, and understands that you WILL have a lot of work, no problem. Just depends on how much you both want it. Anyone who says otherwise really has no idea what they're talking about.

At the same time, being a 1L is not going to eat up every last moment. You'll be busy, but you'll have a lot of free time too. Don't sweat it.

[hubtubrub]

if you really cared you would get engaged. Otherwise, i would say fuck the relationship.

[Drake014]

Is it feasible to spend maybe three weekends a month with a girlfriend who is 2-3 hours away? Will work/ trying to maintain a social life make this impossible? I also may not have a car but she will. It's a pretty serious relationship and I have already spent one year in the U.K. away from her. It didn't go great because I was a 1L at a top law school abroad and was swamped with work but we stuck it out and made it work and I'm happy that we did.

When I started dating my current wife she was exactly 2-3 hours away (depending on traffic). At the time I was taking a full course load of community college on top of a full day of high school. I got honors in both places and saw her almost every weekend by driving to her (she occasionally drove to me but not often)

My question to you is, how good is the sex? Whether you can pull off the school and relationship is directly correlated with that answer.

[mac.empress]

Is it feasible to spend maybe three weekends a month with a girlfriend who is 2-3 hours away? Will work/ trying to maintain a social life make this impossible? I also may not have a car but she will. It's a pretty serious relationship and I have already spent one year in the U.K. away from her. It didn't go great because I was a 1L at a top law school abroad and was swamped with work but we stuck it out and made it work and I'm happy that we did.

When I started dating my current wife she was exactly 2-3 hours away (depending on traffic). At the time I was taking a full course load of community college on top of a full day of high school. I got honors in both places and saw her almost every weekend by driving to her (she occasionally drove to me but not often)

My question to you is, how good is the sex? Whether you can pull off the school and relationship is directly correlated with that answer.

TMFCR!

[vanwinkle]

If you like it, you better put a ring on it.

[A'nold]

Yeah but if one or both are nymphos the cheating will be sky high.

[FlanAl]

Hey it can work!

But I'd make sure that you both plan to be in the same place after that first year so that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. If you are going to a regional school or whatever and she's only fine to go to school there (and wants to bail right after) that could be an issue.

Also be ready for her douchey guy friends to like swoop in when you leave and offer her "advice" on why long distance doesn't work. Guessing you already had that experience when you went to London or whatever. I've seen two really solid relationships end this way.

[FlanAl]

Oh yeah and skype. Video chatting will definitely help. And you get all the boring talking and emo stuff out of the way during the week so that when you see her you can just have a good time.

[AngryAvocado]

Hey it can work!

But I'd make sure that you both plan to be in the same place after that first year so that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. If you are going to a regional school or whatever and she's only fine to go to school there (and wants to bail right after) that could be an issue.

Also be ready for her douchey guy friends to like swoop in when you leave and offer her "advice" on why long distance doesn't work. Guessing you already had that experience when you went to London or whatever. I've seen two really solid relationships end this way.

Don't be mad when you see that he want it.

[apper123]

Hey it can work!

But I'd make sure that you both plan to be in the same place after that first year so that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. If you are going to a regional school or whatever and she's only fine to go to school there (and wants to bail right after) that could be an issue.

Also be ready for her douchey guy friends to like swoop in when you leave and offer her "advice" on why long distance doesn't work. Guessing you already had that experience when you went to London or whatever. I've seen two really solid relationships end this way.

Then those relationships weren't very solid.

[AngryAvocado]

Hey it can work!

But I'd make sure that you both plan to be in the same place after that first year so that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. If you are going to a regional school or whatever and she's only fine to go to school there (and wants to bail right after) that could be an issue.

Also be ready for her douchey guy friends to like swoop in when you leave and offer her "advice" on why long distance doesn't work. Guessing you already had that experience when you went to London or whatever. I've seen two really solid relationships end this way.

Then those relationships weren't very solid.

Don't pay him any attention.

[TheBigMediocre]

Don't pay him any attention.

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