Sh*t Gunners Say Forum

[Judge Philip Banks]

We have a gunner who speaks only in random sprayings of black letter law vomit. It's like he's a vacuum cleaner for legalese that goes on reverse every time he tries to answer a question. The other day in Contracts he raised his hand to answer a simple question about consideration and spoke for about 2 minutes, shoehorning in three or four irrelevant concepts that we hadn't even covered yet. One time in Torts the prof mentioned diversity jurisdiction in passing, and he responds by mumbling to himself, "requires a complete diversity of parties and a claim for relief exceeding $75,000..."

He's like this even in casual conversation. That part is extra weird.

Sounds like someone in my section...

Not like we didn't already know this, but law school really is a magnet for crazies.

[Gettingstarted1928]

We had a mandatory 1L career workshop. Pretty boring, but you know, presentations on networking and whatnot. We were split into two sections; one would see presentation A and the other B, and then they'd switch and the like.

The one career services dude gave us a presentation that lasted 30 minutes. For the other group, it lasted about 70 minutes because a college freshman had sneaked in and began asking dozens of questions about legal employment. I'm surprised he wasn't literally murdered.

looool. That is one ballsy college freshman.

A college student sat in on a friend of mine's crim law class and he was a proto-gunner. To make matters worse, the professor gave the kid the power to pick who got cold called and the guy got drunk with power.

HAHAHHAHHA

[kalvano]

We have some stupid fat girl who raises her hand at everything to answer with "Uh, I don't know, but let me tell you about the time..."

I wonder if she realizes the book weighs about 15 pounds and I can throw far.

[jess]

.

[NYC Law]

Has anyone else come to hate the word 'essentially'? I swear when anyone in my section is called on to say what a case is about they always start with "Well this is essentially about..."

Makes me cringe every time.

[r6_philly]

Has anyone else come to hate the word 'essentially'? I swear when anyone in my section is called on to say what a case is about they always start with "Well this is essentially about..."

Makes me cringe every time.

haha I said that in Contracts and the professor ripped me apart.

[Bildungsroman]

Has anyone else come to hate the word 'essentially'? I swear when anyone in my section is called on to say what a case is about they always start with "Well this is essentially about..."

Makes me cringe every time.

This is the worst. It comes up a lot when people try to game the socratic method because they think they're so smart. A professor will say something like "what were the facts of this case?" and the gunner will say "it's essentially a test case for xxxxxxx" or "it essentially turned on the question of xxxxxxx" and then we have to wait while the professor makes it clear that he was really just looking for the "what happened when, where, how, and with/by whom" like a professor always is when he wants the facts of the case. The worst part is that when someone tries to say what the case "essentially" is or is about, they're wrong like 90%+ of the time.

[smelltheglove]

3L gunners...why, just why?

[merc280]

Has anyone else come to hate the word 'essentially'? I swear when anyone in my section is called on to say what a case is about they always start with "Well this is essentially about..."

Makes me cringe every time.

have a girl in class that says it whenever she's called on. I used to think saying essentially was going to shorten her talking time but she goes on for at least 10 minutes saying everything is "essentially" something.

[Flips88]

Has anyone else come to hate the word 'essentially'? I swear when anyone in my section is called on to say what a case is about they always start with "Well this is essentially about..."

Makes me cringe every time.

have a girl in class that says it whenever she's called on. I used to think saying essentially was going to shorten her talking time but she goes on for at least 10 minutes saying everything is "essentially" something.

It's the law student equivalent of "you know" for athletes.

[ilovesf]

Class went over by 5 minutes, yet a student was still asking questions and debating about the commerce clause with the professor. stfu, everyone else wants to leave.

[AVBucks4239]

Has anyone else come to hate the word 'essentially'? I swear when anyone in my section is called on to say what a case is about they always start with "Well this is essentially about..."

Makes me cringe every time.

This reminds me of a guy in my section. Every time a professor asks, "Do you think this case was rightly decided," he waits for others to answer and then interjects with, "Well, as a matter of public policy..."

[TJISMYHERO]

You know you're a gunner when you have a full fledged argument in Subway about what constitutes the intent to gun.

[Sandro]

Not a gunner, but somebody in our class went out of their way to correct the professor for missing one letter on the end of someone's name from a case - the professor called on them for the case and they didnt even read it

[shepdawg]

Gunner: "Fat Tits ________"

Contracts
Lecture on something. New professor is having difficult using his analogy.
Fat Tits interjects in a New York accent, "Hey, professor. When you gonna figure out that the _____ analogy just ain't working? It ain't working!"

Property
Lecture on something. Somehow, professor was dumb enough to call on "fat tits"
Fat Tits begins to explain his position on some stupid concept, and notices that everyone in the class is giving him the "stupid look." That's when he says "OK then. I guess I'll just have to draw it on the board so you all can understand." Then he walks to the front of the class, and begins to draw some shit on the board.

Forget which class
Professor is lecturing and goes 1 minute past the scheduled end of class.
Fat Tits yells "Hey Professor, class is over eye." He points to the clock.

[jarofsoup]

"That is true,but....."


I hate this one. But nothing. Casebook bible and teacher god there no but..

[LawMan20]

"That is true,but....."


I hate this one. But nothing. Casebook bible and teacher god there no but..

Lol this is the mentality I have.

[jess]

.

[Anomaly]

When I think of the worst shit gunners say, I just think of this guy in my class who always volunteers to answer tough questions but never answers or even responds to the question. This guy loves convoluted, fancy-sounding judicial opinions, but even more he loves to hear his voice reading them out loud for the class.

Prof: Why do we have X doctrine if Y, Z, Q, and P, and we already have A and B, and the goal is C and D?

"Well, on page 292 the court said [reads tangentially-related paragraph out loud for the class]."

[Yvonnella]

Gunner: "Fat Tits ________"

Contracts
Lecture on something. New professor is having difficult using his analogy.
Fat Tits interjects in a New York accent, "Hey, professor. When you gonna figure out that the _____ analogy just ain't working? It ain't working!"

Property
Lecture on something. Somehow, professor was dumb enough to call on "fat tits"
Fat Tits begins to explain his position on some stupid concept, and notices that everyone in the class is giving him the "stupid look." That's when he says "OK then. I guess I'll just have to draw it on the board so you all can understand." Then he walks to the front of the class, and begins to draw some shit on the board.

Forget which class
Professor is lecturing and goes 1 minute past the scheduled end of class.
Fat Tits yells "Hey Professor, class is over eye." He points to the clock.

The fact that this is about some guy from New York makes me giggle uncontrollably. You are a monster!

[northerncali9]

1. Contracts

2. No question by the professor, just a review session on the last day of class before reading week. The professor was already considered to be pretty condescending and unapproachable by many students, so this made the story even better. The professor was talking about something related to the Statute of Frauds in 2-201 of the UCC (Article 2).

3. Gunner raises his hand (by this time in the semester, everyone has accepted him as being a prototypical, annoying, and nonsensical gunner) and cites something about the Statute of Frauds from Article 9 of the UCC, which had nothing to do with what would be covered on the exam. Professor goes completely ape shit on him and asks him what the hell he was doing reading Article 9 of the UCC when we are only in Article 2. Professor admits she did not even read Article 9 of the UCC and that she repeatedly told us not use supplements for her class that are outside the scope of what would be tested.

4. She could have stopped there, but kept teeing off on his stupidity for a good 5 minutes with the entire class roaring in laughter and hiding behind their laptops. Then at the end of class professor turns back to him and says, "So Mr. ____ are you going to get rid of that supplement now." His response: "Well I already paid for it." It was just great to finally see a professor stop letting this guy take over the class with his pointless crap. It worked because he has really toned it down this semester in other classes, and I think he has not voluntarily said a word in Contracts this semester.

[td6624]

as a 2L i have come to appreciate gunners. i wish there were more of them. the unstructured/total lack of cold calling means i don't have to say shit if there are enough people willing to do it voluntarily

[nStiver]

The 1,2,3,4 format doesn't apply to my story, but one of the gunners pitched a hissy fit that all of our professors preferred cold calling over taking volunteers. He spoke with the professors. They didn't care. He went to the registrar to see if he could be switched to another section so that he could rest easy knowing the other professors would not ignore him when he raised his hand 5 million times a class. I haven't seen him in a while. Not sure if they obliged him or if he dropped out. He always talked about how he had been IQ tested as a genius, had an amazing LSAT score, and would be transferring to HYS because he knew he would be ranked #1. I go to a TTT, mind you.

He transfered to HY and S after his practise final score came out.

What a little dipshit.

There are are only one or tw gunners in my section, but this one dude has calmed it down and he has the smarts to back it up anywany.

[nStiver]

Gunner: "Fat Tits ________"

Contracts
Lecture on something. New professor is having difficult using his analogy.
Fat Tits interjects in a New York accent, "Hey, professor. When you gonna figure out that the _____ analogy just ain't working? It ain't working!"

Property
Lecture on something. Somehow, professor was dumb enough to call on "fat tits"
Fat Tits begins to explain his position on some stupid concept, and notices that everyone in the class is giving him the "stupid look." That's when he says "OK then. I guess I'll just have to draw it on the board so you all can understand." Then he walks to the front of the class, and begins to draw some shit on the board.

Forget which class
Professor is lecturing and goes 1 minute past the scheduled end of class.
Fat Tits yells "Hey Professor, class is over eye." He points to the clock.

The fact that this is about some guy from New York makes me giggle uncontrollably. You are a monster!

God this kind of thing makes me wish we had people like this at my school. Fat Tits sounds like a real riot to have in class....fun to have a good laugh at thier expense.

[youarereadingthis]

I shit you not. A girl in my section raises her hand to say, "I don't see the relevance of his/her point" when classmate finishes speaking. It's happened more than once.