Living Alone Forum

[apper123]

I am really, really glad I did not live alone. I'm a people-person, and it's nice to have roommates around to talk to or just so you don't feel alone in your house. I also had a solid group of friends going into the first day of law school.

And on exam days it's great to have a back-up person to make sure your ass is awake!

[pleasetryagain]

Not living with close/best friends is definitely credited, but I think the main gist of this thread is way too neurotic.

For me at least, the benefits of roommate outweigh the costs; is it REALLY that difficult to determine one of you pay the electric, the other pays the cable and if there is a balance you write a check once a month? I've had really bad living situations in the past (especially UG) but shouldn't we all be adult enough at this point to cohabitate without ruining each other's lives? Maybe I'm idealistic or just extremely easy going for a law student though ... I just don't feel like a visiting BF or a few dishes in the sink is the end of the world.

I do agree that it depends on the person though, and if you know yourself well enough to know that a roommate isn’t something you’re going to be able to handle (noting that it requires flexibility) or wouldn't enjoy then live alone.

I think things are definitely different with girls living together. Guys are savages. I would much rather live with a girl (not a SO, just a girl roommate) than live with a guy.

[keg411]

Not living with close/best friends is definitely credited, but I think the main gist of this thread is way too neurotic.

For me at least, the benefits of roommate outweigh the costs; is it REALLY that difficult to determine one of you pay the electric, the other pays the cable and if there is a balance you write a check once a month? I've had really bad living situations in the past (especially UG) but shouldn't we all be adult enough at this point to cohabitate without ruining each other's lives? Maybe I'm idealistic or just extremely easy going for a law student though ... I just don't feel like a visiting BF or a few dishes in the sink is the end of the world.

I do agree that it depends on the person though, and if you know yourself well enough to know that a roommate isn’t something you’re going to be able to handle (noting that it requires flexibility) or wouldn't enjoy then live alone.

I think things are definitely different with girls living together. Guys are savages. I would much rather live with a girl (not a SO, just a girl roommate) than live with a guy.

The funny thing is that I'd much rather live with a guys than girls. I lived with guys through part of college and after college and they are SO much more laid back and less likely to cause massive drama. Plus, it's easier to have separate groups of friends that way so you aren't hanging around with the same people all the time.

[HBK]

I had a roommate after college for about ten months. It was awful. In lieu of using his degree to pursue a career, he opted to work the graveyard shift at an hourly job, come home at 3am, and blare his music. I had a job and had to wake up at 7am, so the music wasn't very welcomed.

Then he decided his girlfriend would move in without any sort of discussion, and when I asked her to pay rent, I was suddenly the bad guy. Dammmit woman, you're dirtying up the bathroom and taking all the pantry/fridge space.

Getting my own place was definitely better. If I buy a case of beer on Monday, I know there will be some left on Monday. (that was the other thing, he'd drink all the beer and not replace it, or after asking him to replace it, he would buy Keystone)

Plus, women seem more comfortable with guys who live by themselves. If she fools around with you, no one else will know or be able to spread gossip. This, I think, would be pretty valuable in the small world of LS.

Currently living with SO, and that's pretty nice too.

[SaintClarence27]

Currently living with SO, and that's pretty nice too.

Credited.

[revolution724]

Currently living with SO, and that's pretty nice too.

Credited.

Indeed. I used to swear up and down that I'd never again live with anyone I wasn't sleeping with, and I rue the day I let myself violate that rule.

[Duralex]

I love living alone. I love having a study. But then again, I'm also a big morning person and a rather private person--housemates were tough for me even in college (although I enjoyed it until the last year or so.) Part of it is also probably my age--I'm turning 30 and I'm sort of over living with anyone I'm not (seriously) involved with. If I haven't wondered what our kids might look like, you are probably not leaving your toothbrush here.

[farewelltoarms]

Is anyone here just considering living with 3 random roommates? I'm sure I'll get paired up with some undergraduates most likely, but since I'm 22 I'll be cool since I can buy beer? Ha, but seriously, 4/2 apartments are like 300 dollars around Gainesville.

[ChewbaccaDefense]

As an older person (not too old though), I'll weigh in on this. I've lived with a bunch of people and, in every single situation, there was some sort of roommate conflict. I believe it's impossible to live with somebody for a year without there being any clashing. If you live with somebody, they're going to impact you in some way. If you've never lived with the person before, then you have no idea HOW they will impact you. Is that something you'd like to leave to chance?

In ten years of not living with the rents, I've lived in 11 different living arrangements, ranging from living by myself in a small studio in Boston to a 10 person frat house. The times I lived on my own were definitely the most predictable and, for me, the most comfortable. I lived in cities, so if I want to meet up with friends, they weren't very far (although I would think small college towns would be like this, too).

Funny enough, my best experience with roommates was in a 4BR, 1BR dump of a house with a crazy lady living downstairs and a slumlord managing the place (not really, just VERY cheap). Nobody knew each other when we moved in (found each other through craigslist), but we meshed pretty well. Even then, there were definitely rough points while living there.

Do what works best for you, but I personally wouldn't make this decision based primarily on housing costs. Between getting an A or a B in a 1L class and paying a couple hundred to a couple thousand extra in rent per year, I'll pay a bit more.

[missvik218]

Is anyone here just considering living with 3 random roommates? I'm sure I'll get paired up with some undergraduates most likely, but since I'm 22 I'll be cool since I can buy beer? Ha, but seriously, 4/2 apartments are like 300 dollars around Gainesville.

I'm living in a 4/4 in Athens with relatively random people .. they're all also going to UGA 1Ls so at least we'll have that in common! But yeah, super cheap COL FTW.

Re: The poster above me -- I would theoretically agree with you, but for some reason I find myself not too worried about it. I think because I've had so many different living situations none of which turned out to be completely ideal I figure this will be similar and I'll deal with whatever comes along. I'll report back after first semester and see if my complacent attitude may be premature

[zeth006]

This first year has sucked, in terms of the roommate arrangement. If you can afford it, just live alone. Even if the potential roommate is also a grad/professional student, if its not necessary, don't do it. There are just too many things to coordinate. If you are the neat, clean one out of the two, it will drive you mad.

Did you not talk to your roomie ahead of time and discuss things like neatness, sleeping patterns, study habits, partying ect?

Of course I did. Then the bitch went crazy.

Trust me. When you find later in the year that one of your roomies is a sketchy douche with gambling issues and a crappy personality, whatever he/she said in the beginning in terms of cleaning arrangements and minding each other's need for relative quiet (i.e. No booming speakers late at night, etc) goes out the window.

[MusicNutMeggie]

In undergrad, I always had roommates-- shared room, shared bathroom, etc. I'm planning on living in a 2/2 as a 1L, but, to paraphrase an earlier poster, bitches go crazy. That's why I'm living with a guy. In my experience, the ones who say they're neat are reasonably neat, they don't go all passive-aggressive crazy on your ass, they lift heavy things, kill spiders, and take out the trash.

Yes, I'm stereotyping-- but even my gay guy roommates did those things!

Anyway, I lived alone in NYC for six months. I had dozens of friends in the city, hung out with people all the time...and stil got ridiculously lonely. I want my own room (bathroom doesn't matter that much), but I never want to live alone again. I think it just depends on your personality and temperament.

Incidentally, my friends already in law school said that living with other law students was a double-edged sword: you have someone who 'gets' exactly how hard the whole things is, and to whom you can complain (and with whom you might even be able to study), but the stress level in the apt. can get ridiculously high. They recommended living with young professionals, who still need to keep decent hours and have relative calm, but who won't talk about law school EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY.

[apper123]

There's two kinds of "messy" roommates:

1) The one who doesn't give a crap. He doesn't care that his mess bothers you. He does what he wants. He won't clean up because he doesn't feel like it. Screw you if you don't like it.

2) The one who isn't aware that what he does bothers you and really struggles hard with organization/neatness. This is pretty common in people with substantial struggles with ADD. This guy would feel really bad if he knew his mess bothered you, and would do his best to clean up after himself and make it better, but you'll often have to remind him or let him know it bothers you.

#1 is just a douche don't live with him. A #1, at least a dude, should be easy to read right off the bat.

You can live with #2, just be prepared to give him a little reminder from time to time, as he'll forget or not realize what he's doing. The problem is many people are non-confrontational and will never say anything. Then it builds up and turns into a mess (no pun intended). A #2 is rarely, if ever, going to pick up on your passive/aggressive behavior. He'll just be like, "OH that's weird. My shoes were downstairs and now they are upstairs. Odd. I must have moved them when I wasn't paying attention."

I am a #2, so I speak from experience, and I do really feel terribly if I find out that some pattern of behavior I've been engaging in for a long period of time has been bothering people, and I would have done anything I could to change it IF ONLY I knew.

I have, however, been on the flip side of the equation, so I realize it's tough. I lived in a house for the past 2 years, before this year, where I was the neat-freak in the house. I'm just unorganized and a little absent-minded at times, but my undergrad roommates borderlined on absolute slobs, so it bothered even me.

[jmhendri]

I'm a super messy roommate and living with my sisters for so long hasn't inspired me to change... which is one of the reasons I'm going to live alone my first year. I'd feel painfully self conscious about dishes and vacuuming. Hoping I'll develop some good habits...

[zeth006]

Agree with the two posters above me!

I'm not sure whether I have ADD, but I had some bad habits during junior year of undergrad that took some time for me to fix. The worst part was having a roommate bitch about little things as he left his shit lying around in the living room and kitchen.


I'm definitely living alone the first year. I'll be hunting for a 1-room studio with a study though I'm not sure I can find one within the $1,000/mo range over in SD. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm going to set up a weekly or biweekly cleaning schedule, something I never did during undergrad. Hiring a cleaning lady to come in every now and then is tempting, but too convenient of a copout.

[Rikkugrrl]

I lived in dorms for three years of undergrad, where room/suitemates are almost always a requirement. Next year I'll be living off campus and I dream of the day I can live by myself in law school Why?

I had a roommate who went batshit insane around midterms last year and started keeping the place obsessively clean. This wouldn't be a problem if she didn't insist that all four of the suitemates live up to her crazy standards. We had the absolute cleanest room in the building, never a dish in the sink, never a crumb on the table and it still wasn't enough. She'd leave us the cutest little love notes about how she "just can't stand living like this" and is "afraid the bugs are going to eat her alive" (I never so much as saw an ant). When I responded with a note of my own asking her to come talk to us about her problems, she banged on my door at 1 am and started screaming at me about how she had hated me since the day I left my cookie sheet in the sink (.........). We all tried to avoid her as best we could, but one day I came home to find her sobbing on the floor about how disgusting we all were. Then, two weeks before it was time to move out (right around exam time...I notice her freakouts often corresponded with when she had tests), she dragged the RA in and tried to get her to tell us off for being slobs. The RA finally had had enough and told her that the entire hall had heard her crying fit and that she needed to stop taking her stress out on her roommates (yes!).

She gave a half-hearted apology on the last day before moveout, but I had already been traumatized against roommates forever. From her first freakout on I never had guests over, I always went over to their places, and I used my friend's kitchen when I needed to cook. I was constantly tense and didn't even like to answer my door in case it was her coming to yell at me for not scrubbing the toilet well enough. I vowed to never ever risk living with a crazy again, even if it meant living by myself.

That said, if you know the person and y'all get along okay, I don't see why living together would be a problem. I just had a bad experience that turned me off to roommates forever.

[jmhendri]

Agree with the two posters above me!

I'm not sure whether I have ADD, but I had some bad habits during junior year of undergrad that took some time for me to fix. The worst part was having a roommate bitch about little things as he left his shit lying around in the living room and kitchen.


I'm definitely living alone the first year. I'll be hunting for a 1-room studio with a study though I'm not sure I can find one within the $1,000/mo range over in SD. We'll see. Meanwhile, I'm going to set up a weekly or biweekly cleaning schedule, something I never did during undergrad. Hiring a cleaning lady to come in every now and then is tempting, but too convenient of a copout.

A studio with a study is essentially a one bedroom. And I assume you're going to USD, so yeah, good luck with that in Linda Vista.

[heyyitskatie]

There's two kinds of "messy" roommates:

1) The one who doesn't give a crap. He doesn't care that his mess bothers you. He does what he wants. He won't clean up because he doesn't feel like it. Screw you if you don't like it.

2) The one who isn't aware that what he does bothers you and really struggles hard with organization/neatness. This is pretty common in people with substantial struggles with ADD. This guy would feel really bad if he knew his mess bothered you, and would do his best to clean up after himself and make it better, but you'll often have to remind him or let him know it bothers you.

#1 is just a douche don't live with him. A #1, at least a dude, should be easy to read right off the bat.

You can live with #2, just be prepared to give him a little reminder from time to time, as he'll forget or not realize what he's doing. The problem is many people are non-confrontational and will never say anything. Then it builds up and turns into a mess (no pun intended). A #2 is rarely, if ever, going to pick up on your passive/aggressive behavior. He'll just be like, "OH that's weird. My shoes were downstairs and now they are upstairs. Odd. I must have moved them when I wasn't paying attention."

I am a #2, so I speak from experience, and I do really feel terribly if I find out that some pattern of behavior I've been engaging in for a long period of time has been bothering people, and I would have done anything I could to change it IF ONLY I knew.

I have, however, been on the flip side of the equation, so I realize it's tough. I lived in a house for the past 2 years, before this year, where I was the neat-freak in the house. I'm just unorganized and a little absent-minded at times, but my undergrad roommates borderlined on absolute slobs, so it bothered even me.

Wow. #2 is me dead on. I've never thought to put it together with ADD, but I've definitely had to tell roommates to 1) remind me to clean...I really will do it if I remember and can pay attention long enough and 2) that I don't understand passive-aggressive behavior, but I promise I really do care if I do something that pisses you off so please tell me directly

[apper123]

There's two kinds of "messy" roommates:

1) The one who doesn't give a crap. He doesn't care that his mess bothers you. He does what he wants. He won't clean up because he doesn't feel like it. Screw you if you don't like it.

2) The one who isn't aware that what he does bothers you and really struggles hard with organization/neatness. This is pretty common in people with substantial struggles with ADD. This guy would feel really bad if he knew his mess bothered you, and would do his best to clean up after himself and make it better, but you'll often have to remind him or let him know it bothers you.

#1 is just a douche don't live with him. A #1, at least a dude, should be easy to read right off the bat.

You can live with #2, just be prepared to give him a little reminder from time to time, as he'll forget or not realize what he's doing. The problem is many people are non-confrontational and will never say anything. Then it builds up and turns into a mess (no pun intended). A #2 is rarely, if ever, going to pick up on your passive/aggressive behavior. He'll just be like, "OH that's weird. My shoes were downstairs and now they are upstairs. Odd. I must have moved them when I wasn't paying attention."

I am a #2, so I speak from experience, and I do really feel terribly if I find out that some pattern of behavior I've been engaging in for a long period of time has been bothering people, and I would have done anything I could to change it IF ONLY I knew.

I have, however, been on the flip side of the equation, so I realize it's tough. I lived in a house for the past 2 years, before this year, where I was the neat-freak in the house. I'm just unorganized and a little absent-minded at times, but my undergrad roommates borderlined on absolute slobs, so it bothered even me.

Wow. #2 is me dead on. I've never thought to put it together with ADD, but I've definitely had to tell roommates to 1) remind me to clean...I really will do it if I remember and can pay attention long enough and 2) that I don't understand passive-aggressive behavior, but I promise I really do care if I do something that pisses you off so please tell me directly

BINGO. I have had to do this with pretty much every roommate I've ever had. I don't understand why people don't just TELL me.

to be honest, p/a behavior usually has an effect of inducing me to do whatever the opposite of what the p/a behavior is triyng to tell me, because being p/a kind of insults me and tilts the hell out of me. But most of the time I just miss it.

[hiromoto45]

I'm living alone. I do not want the expectation to become "best friends" with a roommate (girls tend to do that). I don't want to worry about dividing space in the fridge or coming back too late after studying.

[snowpeach06]

There's two kinds of "messy" roommates:

1) The one who doesn't give a crap. He doesn't care that his mess bothers you. He does what he wants. He won't clean up because he doesn't feel like it. Screw you if you don't like it.

2) The one who isn't aware that what he does bothers you and really struggles hard with organization/neatness. This is pretty common in people with substantial struggles with ADD. This guy would feel really bad if he knew his mess bothered you, and would do his best to clean up after himself and make it better, but you'll often have to remind him or let him know it bothers you.

#1 is just a douche don't live with him. A #1, at least a dude, should be easy to read right off the bat.

You can live with #2, just be prepared to give him a little reminder from time to time, as he'll forget or not realize what he's doing. The problem is many people are non-confrontational and will never say anything. Then it builds up and turns into a mess (no pun intended). A #2 is rarely, if ever, going to pick up on your passive/aggressive behavior. He'll just be like, "OH that's weird. My shoes were downstairs and now they are upstairs. Odd. I must have moved them when I wasn't paying attention."

I am a #2, so I speak from experience, and I do really feel terribly if I find out that some pattern of behavior I've been engaging in for a long period of time has been bothering people, and I would have done anything I could to change it IF ONLY I knew.

I have, however, been on the flip side of the equation, so I realize it's tough. I lived in a house for the past 2 years, before this year, where I was the neat-freak in the house. I'm just unorganized and a little absent-minded at times, but my undergrad roommates borderlined on absolute slobs, so it bothered even me.

I think I'm a mix of 1 and 2. Most of the time I'm just oblivious. I don't think before I leave a dish in the sink or my purse in the living room or whatever. But, if I have a roomie who is too neat and rude then I find myself intentionally not cleaning things, since i hate being told what to do, and need to feel motivated on my own to clean. But, I mean, I would rather avoid conflict, and so if someone says nicely, "can you do this when you get a change," I'll do it, even if I don't feel like it.

Although, I do feel like if a mess bothers you, you should just clean it. Once I lived with people who NEVER ever did dishes. They would wash just the one they needed to eat. And I found myself annoyed so I washed them. It's a pretty easy way to totally avoid conflict.

[nascent]

I've had a roommate for most of my life, until now.

I LOVE living alone. It's $200 more for my rent, but the amount I save of food, electricity, repair, water, etc make it so very much worth it.

+1

[macattaq]

Not living with close/best friends is definitely credited, but I think the main gist of this thread is way too neurotic.

For me at least, the benefits of roommate outweigh the costs; is it REALLY that difficult to determine one of you pay the electric, the other pays the cable and if there is a balance you write a check once a month? I've had really bad living situations in the past (especially UG) but shouldn't we all be adult enough at this point to cohabitate without ruining each other's lives? Maybe I'm idealistic or just extremely easy going for a law student though ... I just don't feel like a visiting BF or a few dishes in the sink is the end of the world.

I do agree that it depends on the person though, and if you know yourself well enough to know that a roommate isn’t something you’re going to be able to handle (noting that it requires flexibility) or wouldn't enjoy then live alone.

I think things are definitely different with girls living together. Guys are savages. I would much rather live with a girl (not a SO, just a girl roommate) than live with a guy.

LOL. I'm not going to rewrite everything, I'm just going to link to this: why I dislike my female roommate. Good luck living with girls. Note: I've also kicked it at some girl's place when she had female roommates. Their place is about the same as mine post-roommate. Again, good luck.

[basicgrey7]

i demand neatness 24/7 and despise laziness with any household chores. it was just how i was raised, plus I am psycho. knowing this about myself, I live alone. if you know what you can and can't handle, the choice should be pretty easy. if you are laid back in terms of cleanliness, AND you are social, then live in a multi-people place and you'll be happy. But if you aren't both of those things, you can always be social on your own terms but keep your sanity at home. law school doesn't seem like a time to be stressing over anything other than grades - so the less complex your living situation, the better.

I am laid back in terms of clenlinss (I'm usually the messy one, but if I do get annoyed by it, then I just clean it myself; I don't know why other people don't do this). I'm really just worried that I will be the one annoying the other person. For the most part I'm extremely laid back. The only things that bother me are tv hogs (because I'm the tv hog!) and really loud people who constantly bring 10 other people over really late at night, which I suppose aren't the most likely things to happen. I think maybe my problem is I've had very good roommate experiences. I had one bad one, but it was only bad when we literally shared a room. When we just shared an apartment, it was fine.

I hardly watch tv, we'd be a good match

[20160810]

Even if you're not a total neat-freak, it's nice to be able to leave my cereal bowl in the sink all day without worrying that I'm gonna piss off someone who's paying half the rent. Some of my best friends are my former roommates, but right now living alone is FTW.