Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant Forum

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Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:00 pm

I am in a COA clerkship right now, and when I am finished with the clerkship (and ready to enter biglaw), I expect that my wife will have just given birth or be pregnant. Is this likely to alter my potential to enter big law?

nixy

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by nixy » Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:05 pm

I mean, if you want to take time off with your newborn child, that may well delay you starting any job. But why would your wife having a baby affect your job search?

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:27 pm

nixy wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:05 pm
I mean, if you want to take time off with your newborn child, that may well delay you starting any job. But why would your wife having a baby affect your job search?
I know some places have paternity leave, that’s why I was wondering.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Mon Jan 23, 2023 9:53 pm

Do not say anything while you're interviewing. If you have a few options, find out the relative parental leave policies, which are available online usually. When you just start is actually a good time to take leave because you aren't trained in or fully staffed yet.

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glitched

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by glitched » Mon Jan 23, 2023 10:26 pm

Probably a good idea to stay silent during interviews, but after you get offers, then I'd say something to lock it down in writing that you'll be able to take leave.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jan 24, 2023 7:22 am

I think a lot of places require you to have worked there for some number of months before you’re eligible for leave. I suppose you could try negotiating a leave after you put in that time, but I think that would be tricky if the child was already born when you started.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:06 am

nixy wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:05 pm
I mean, if you want to take time off with your newborn child, that may well delay you starting any job. But why would your wife having a baby affect your job search?
Subscribed for the answer. I don't know how OP can be so smart as to land a COA clerkship, and yet so naïve as to think that a pregnant wife at start date would somehow DQ him/her from getting a job in biglaw.

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Prudent_Jurist

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Prudent_Jurist » Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:26 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:06 am
nixy wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:05 pm
I mean, if you want to take time off with your newborn child, that may well delay you starting any job. But why would your wife having a baby affect your job search?
Subscribed for the answer. I don't know how OP can be so smart as to land a COA clerkship, and yet so naïve as to think that a pregnant wife at start date would somehow DQ him/her from getting a job in biglaw.
Couple things come to mind:

1. No reason to insult OP, especially behind anonymous. Be bold; own your insults.

2. Call it cynical or unreasonable, but I don’t blame OP for worrying that an employer might invent a pretext to hire someone else who’s start won’t be delayed, rather than hire someone who will start, go on leave, and get paid for 9-12 weeks to do nothing for the firm. Case in point— that recent flaming horseshit text from that partner to the associate on maternity leave who left after her leave. These things actually happen, sadly.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jan 24, 2023 10:31 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 7:22 am
I think a lot of places require you to have worked there for some number of months before you’re eligible for leave. I suppose you could try negotiating a leave after you put in that time, but I think that would be tricky if the child was already born when you started.
I think that policy often only applies to staff and usually attorneys get leave benefits day 1, but you should still confirm.

Separately, I went through a similar experience. I joined a new firm just a couple of weeks before my child was born. As the dad, I had some flexibility with taking paternity leave (since I wasn't recovering from giving birth) and didn't want to take a bunch of time up front while I was brand new at this firm, so I only took a week or so when my child was born to help my wife recover. My wife took her full leave up front and we got both sets of inlaws to come help us for periods of time in the early weeks (and I was still ramping up so I was able to help at night and in the morning), and then I took like 3 months of leave about 10 months later (I think you have to use it before the child turns 1 years old usually) and it was fine. Frankly, some of the other parents at my firm, including partners, said they understood why I was only taking very short leave early on and encouraged me to use the rest of my leave whenever I felt comfortable.

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nixy

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by nixy » Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:48 am

Prudent_Jurist wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:26 am
Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:06 am
nixy wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:05 pm
I mean, if you want to take time off with your newborn child, that may well delay you starting any job. But why would your wife having a baby affect your job search?
Subscribed for the answer. I don't know how OP can be so smart as to land a COA clerkship, and yet so naïve as to think that a pregnant wife at start date would somehow DQ him/her from getting a job in biglaw.
Couple things come to mind:

1. No reason to insult OP, especially behind anonymous. Be bold; own your insults.

2. Call it cynical or unreasonable, but I don’t blame OP for worrying that an employer might invent a pretext to hire someone else who’s start won’t be delayed, rather than hire someone who will start, go on leave, and get paid for 9-12 weeks to do nothing for the firm. Case in point— that recent flaming horseshit text from that partner to the associate on maternity leave who left after her leave. These things actually happen, sadly.
I think I’d have understood the question better if they’d referenced parental leave directly, rather than just the status of becoming a parent.

That said, I think it’s kind of a matter of timing. It seems to me that if they get the job before their wife gives birth negotiating is a little different from if they get it after their wife gives birth. I’ll admit I can imagine a firm not wanting to give leave for a child that already exists when they hire the parent (would you be eligible for leave under such a circumstance, or would they just expect you negotiate a later start date?).

But in any case, I agree with the people who say don’t bring it up until you get an offer. Unlike for the birth parent in this situation, they’ll never know unless you tell them (which is another reason why I was confused about becoming a parent preventing you from getting a biglaw job).

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existentialcrisis

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by existentialcrisis » Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:52 am

This question, particularity the phrasing of it, is giving off serious Bot energy.

Or if not a bot, admin generated topic to increase engagement.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jan 24, 2023 12:07 pm

existentialcrisis wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:52 am
This question, particularity the phrasing of it, is giving off serious Bot energy.

Or if not a bot, admin generated topic to increase engagement.
OP here. Not a bot. I appreciate most of the responses. Thank you!

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glitched

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by glitched » Tue Jan 24, 2023 1:39 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 12:07 pm
existentialcrisis wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:52 am
This question, particularity the phrasing of it, is giving off serious Bot energy.

Or if not a bot, admin generated topic to increase engagement.
OP here. Not a bot. I appreciate most of the responses. Thank you!
Exactly what a bot would say.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by jotarokujo » Tue Jan 24, 2023 5:34 pm

glitched wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 10:26 pm
Probably a good idea to stay silent during interviews, but after you get offers, then I'd say something to lock it down in writing that you'll be able to take leave.
agree with this, bring it up after you get an offer but before you accept the offer

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Res Ipsa Loquitter » Tue Jan 24, 2023 7:51 pm

existentialcrisis wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:52 am
This question, particularity the phrasing of it, is giving off serious Bot energy.

Or if not a bot, admin generated topic to increase engagement.
Nah. It’s just that COA clerks these days have less personality than ChatGPT.

Mountainvalleywater

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Mountainvalleywater » Tue Jan 24, 2023 10:57 pm

Are firms required to give paternity leave if there is a baby right when someone starts? I thought in some states there was a requirement you had to be with a company for a certain amount of time before the FMLA even kicks in?

nixy

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by nixy » Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:50 pm

Mountainvalleywater wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 10:57 pm
Are firms required to give paternity leave if there is a baby right when someone starts? I thought in some states there was a requirement you had to be with a company for a certain amount of time before the FMLA even kicks in?
FMLA is federal and does require you to have been with an employer of a certain size for a certain period to be eligible, but a firm can decide to give however much leave for whatever purpose they like beyond what FMLA requires. Parental leave at most biglaw firms isn't going to be FMLA anyway because FMLA is unpaid.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by cavalier1138 » Wed Jan 25, 2023 6:44 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 7:22 am
I think a lot of places require you to have worked there for some number of months before you’re eligible for leave. I suppose you could try negotiating a leave after you put in that time, but I think that would be tricky if the child was already born when you started.
It depends. Some secondary caregiver leave policies allow you to take a certain amount of leave any time within the first year after birth.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Res Ipsa Loquitter » Wed Jan 25, 2023 10:51 am

Mountainvalleywater wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 10:57 pm
Are firms required to give paternity leave if there is a baby right when someone starts? I thought in some states there was a requirement you had to be with a company for a certain amount of time before the FMLA even kicks in?
They’re not required to do anything, but they typically have progressive internal policies. If you’re afraid to ask HR, Check the policy as soon as you start, or ask an associate you trust to check for you.

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Sackboy » Wed Jan 25, 2023 11:15 am

Just rehome her

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Jan 25, 2023 12:18 pm

Sackboy wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 11:15 am
Just rehome her
11/10

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by jamestaylorrecordsas » Thu Jan 26, 2023 6:59 pm

nixy wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 11:48 am
Prudent_Jurist wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:26 am
Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jan 24, 2023 9:06 am
nixy wrote:
Mon Jan 23, 2023 8:05 pm
I mean, if you want to take time off with your newborn child, that may well delay you starting any job. But why would your wife having a baby affect your job search?
Subscribed for the answer. I don't know how OP can be so smart as to land a COA clerkship, and yet so naïve as to think that a pregnant wife at start date would somehow DQ him/her from getting a job in biglaw.
Couple things come to mind:

1. No reason to insult OP, especially behind anonymous. Be bold; own your insults.

2. Call it cynical or unreasonable, but I don’t blame OP for worrying that an employer might invent a pretext to hire someone else who’s start won’t be delayed, rather than hire someone who will start, go on leave, and get paid for 9-12 weeks to do nothing for the firm. Case in point— that recent flaming horseshit text from that partner to the associate on maternity leave who left after her leave. These things actually happen, sadly.
I think I’d have understood the question better if they’d referenced parental leave directly, rather than just the status of becoming a parent.

That said, I think it’s kind of a matter of timing. It seems to me that if they get the job before their wife gives birth negotiating is a little different from if they get it after their wife gives birth. I’ll admit I can imagine a firm not wanting to give leave for a child that already exists when they hire the parent (would you be eligible for leave under such a circumstance, or would they just expect you negotiate a later start date?).

But in any case, I agree with the people who say don’t bring it up until you get an offer. Unlike for the birth parent in this situation, they’ll never know unless you tell them (which is another reason why I was confused about becoming a parent preventing you from getting a biglaw job).
"Couple things come to mind:

1. No reason to insult OP, especially behind anonymous. Be bold; own your insults."

What if it's a job sensitive insult? Can he stay anon?

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Re: Coming Into BigLaw with Wife Pregnant

Post by anon3030 » Fri Jan 27, 2023 1:26 am

I was in a similar situation after finishing a clerkship. Wife gave birth 5 months after I started at for. Once I received offers, I asked HR for their detailed leave policies to confirm leave benefits kicked in immediately. But even if I picked a firm where the the leave benefits didn’t kick in for a year, every policy allowed you take the leave within a year of the birth. So, I would have just taken a week of vacation at birth and then the all the leave once I had been at the firm for a year.

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