How Would You Handle? Forum

[Anonymous User]

Anon for exceedingly obvious reasons. I’m a lit midlevel. I’ve got what I think is a solid reputation at the firm (stellar reviews, high hours, seemingly well-liked). For the most part, I work well with all the partners, senior counsel, etc. But there’s one parter I just don’t click with. Our styles are totally different, and I’m unfortunately the only associate for our matters.

This partner is very important at the firm, so it’s hard to tell them I’m too busy for their cases. I’m not really interested in lateraling and starting over, but I worry this partner will tank my standing at the firm (I sincerely think they don’t like or respect me).

Thoughts? Thanks.

[Anonymous User]

That is tough. I have seen it play out at my firm and you're right to be concerned -- if the wrong partner doesn't like you and that person has a lot of sway, that can be enough to torpedo your prospects even if your performance is otherwise very good. Short term, I think it depends on how assignments are given out at your firm. If there is an assigning partner, you can mention to them that you'd love to get more experience in X area (obviously not the area where the toxic partner works) or that you would welcome the opportunity to work with Y partner because you haven't had the chance to work with them yet. The goal being to get busy enough that you legitimately can't work on the toxic partner's cases. Long term, what are your goals? Depending on how partnership works at your firm, not having the support of an important partner can kill your prospects for advancement. This might make lateralling the rational choice (though there are a lot of other considerations that go into that). If you don't have partner ambitions, it is frustrating when you are disliked for no good reason, but it's easier to just brush it off and move on.

[Anonymous User]

That is tough. I have seen it play out at my firm and you're right to be concerned -- if the wrong partner doesn't like you and that person has a lot of sway, that can be enough to torpedo your prospects even if your performance is otherwise very good. Short term, I think it depends on how assignments are given out at your firm. If there is an assigning partner, you can mention to them that you'd love to get more experience in X area (obviously not the area where the toxic partner works) or that you would welcome the opportunity to work with Y partner because you haven't had the chance to work with them yet. The goal being to get busy enough that you legitimately can't work on the toxic partner's cases. Long term, what are your goals? Depending on how partnership works at your firm, not having the support of an important partner can kill your prospects for advancement. This might make lateralling the rational choice (though there are a lot of other considerations that go into that). If you don't have partner ambitions, it is frustrating when you are disliked for no good reason, but it's easier to just brush it off and move on.

Thanks very much for the reply. As far as being busy, I legitimately am too busy for these cases (I have no shortage of work). My one thought is to find an associate who’s looking for work and have them take over, but I worry that will just make the partner dislike me more.

Long-term, I would like to make partner. I have a lot of support from other important folks, and my progress is all well-documented. I don’t think this partner is really a bad person, so I hope they would just not intervene on my behalf rather than actively try to sabotage me (using “sabotage” loosely here). But I hate the optics of having someone important think I’m lazy, incompetent, or whatever.

[LittleRedCorvette]

Anon for exceedingly obvious reasons. I’m a lit midlevel. I’ve got what I think is a solid reputation at the firm (stellar reviews, high hours, seemingly well-liked). For the most part, I work well with all the partners, senior counsel, etc. But there’s one parter I just don’t click with. Our styles are totally different, and I’m unfortunately the only associate for our matters.

This partner is very important at the firm, so it’s hard to tell them I’m too busy for their cases. I’m not really interested in lateraling and starting over, but I worry this partner will tank my standing at the firm (I sincerely think they don’t like or respect me).

Thoughts? Thanks.

I don't know if I would do this or not, but have you considered facing this person directly and asking what you can do to smooth the relationship over?

[Anonymous User]

Anon for exceedingly obvious reasons. I’m a lit midlevel. I’ve got what I think is a solid reputation at the firm (stellar reviews, high hours, seemingly well-liked). For the most part, I work well with all the partners, senior counsel, etc. But there’s one parter I just don’t click with. Our styles are totally different, and I’m unfortunately the only associate for our matters.

This partner is very important at the firm, so it’s hard to tell them I’m too busy for their cases. I’m not really interested in lateraling and starting over, but I worry this partner will tank my standing at the firm (I sincerely think they don’t like or respect me).

Thoughts? Thanks.

I don't know if I would do this or not, but have you considered facing this person directly and asking what you can do to smooth the relationship over?

Definitely, and to some extent I have on smaller issues, just not a global “what’s up?” conversation. Besides the obvious concern of it blowing up into something bigger than it needs to be, this partner is notoriously busy and might feel I’m wasting their time. That could just me projecting onto them though.

[Itsalovestory]

A complicating factor is recession. I would hold back and wait for recovery of economy.

[crazywafflez]

I'd personally just start filtering in another associate- slowly at first and then have them gradually take everything from this partner and if the partner comes back to you just tell them you are swamped, apologize and move on.
It doesn't sound like y'all's relationship is contentious, you just don't mesh well (which happens).
If you really are too busy, like right now, I think it is also totally okay to just politely tell them so. "Hi, Partner Gucci, I'd love to work on this deal with you, but I've got 2 deals closing with Partner Dillards and 1 that's crazy right now with Partner Macys; once I get some of those wrapped up I'd be happy to help with X."
You can also let them know of another associate who could take it on (after talking with said associate, obviously).

[Anonymous User]

I'd personally just start filtering in another associate- slowly at first and then have them gradually take everything from this partner and if the partner comes back to you just tell them you are swamped, apologize and move on.
It doesn't sound like y'all's relationship is contentious, you just don't mesh well (which happens).
If you really are too busy, like right now, I think it is also totally okay to just politely tell them so. "Hi, Partner Gucci, I'd love to work on this deal with you, but I've got 2 deals closing with Partner Dillards and 1 that's crazy right now with Partner Macys; once I get some of those wrapped up I'd be happy to help with X."
You can also let them know of another associate who could take it on (after talking with said associate, obviously).

Op here. This is the approach I’m really leaning toward, tbh. It’s better for everyone (I get some work off my already crowded plate, partner gets to work with someone else, junior associate gets more work/experience).

Thanks everyone.

[Anonymous User]

Long-term, I would consider just trying to avoid working with this person.

Yes they're important, but if you just don't click, better for them to have a mildly negative opinion of you + you doing great with everyone else, than to dump time and effort into a relationship that sounds like it's fairly sour at this point.

You'd know your group's dynamics better than any of us could, but it's fairly unusual to have *one* partner be the only one that matters for partnership decisionmaking.

If you have a really good relationship with a few big hitters, I'd keep doing their stuff (doing it well, obviously) and stay away from this person.