Made dumb mistake - need advice Forum

[Anonymous User]

So deciding between two peer firms in the same city, felt more of a personal connection with firm 1 and informally told 2 partners there who pushed for my hiring that I've made my decision and is waiting on their diversity scholarship decision before I make my announcement official. A few days after, firm 2 gave me quite a bit of money (50k), the news of which I shared with firm 1's recruitment team. I also told firm 1 that I need to make a decision fairly soon given firm 2's deadlines. Firm 1's recruitment team then replied and told me that after reviewing my files they're going to hold off on giving me a decision on the scholarship (which is only 25k), and that I may need to wait for weeks before getting an answer. Furthermore firm 1's response was rather blunt, to the effect of "we know you need to make a decision soon and it's a big factor in your decision, but we can't help you."

This honestly has put a damper on my enthusiasm for firm 1. 50k is a huge amount of money to me given that I'm taking out student loans to fund my law school education, and the bluntness that firm 1 treated me (and the cheapness of the firm) was a turn-off, despite my previously entirely positive interaction with them. Of course, I also realize that I fucked up by making a promise to join firm 1 before I got all of the relevant information for my decision. At this point I'd still happily take 25k from firm 1, but it seems likely that I'll end up getting nothing since they effectively told me that I have no leverage with them.

Right now, I am leaning toward taking it on the chin and accept firm 1's offer regardless of what they give me, because it seems like the only honorable play. I would appreciate any advice from those who are more experienced than me in the biglaw world to better understand the risk and rewards of that decision. Happy to provide more information if helpful.

[Anonymous User]

So deciding between two peer firms in the same city, felt more of a personal connection with firm 1 and informally told 2 partners there who pushed for my hiring that I've made my decision and is waiting on their diversity scholarship decision before I make my announcement official. A few days after, firm 2 gave me quite a bit of money (50k), the news of which I shared with firm 1's recruitment team. I also told firm 1 that I need to make a decision fairly soon given firm 2's deadlines. Firm 1's recruitment team then replied and told me that after reviewing my files they're going to hold off on giving me a decision on the scholarship (which is only 25k), and that I may need to wait for weeks before getting an answer. Furthermore firm 1's response was rather blunt, to the effect of "we know you need to make a decision soon and it's a big factor in your decision, but we can't help you."

This honestly has put a damper on my enthusiasm for firm 1. 50k is a huge amount of money to me given that I'm taking out student loans to fund my law school education, and the bluntness that firm 1 treated me (and the cheapness of the firm) was a turn-off, despite my previously entirely positive interaction with them. Of course, I also realize that I fucked up by making a promise to join firm 1 before I got all of the relevant information for my decision. At this point I'd still happily take 25k from firm 1, but it seems likely that I'll end up getting nothing since they effectively told me that I have no leverage with them.

Right now, I am leaning toward taking it on the chin and accept firm 1's offer regardless of what they give me, because it seems like the only honorable play. I would appreciate any advice from those who are more experienced than me in the biglaw world to better understand the risk and rewards of that decision. Happy to provide more information if helpful.

No honor among thieves. You do what is best for you. If the money would make a meaningful difference to you (and less debt is less debt even if it seems like play money while you are in law school), there is no shame or dishonor in taking that offer. The partners will (almost certainly) understand, and if they don't, I wouldn't want to work with them anyways. I am not sure that I would interpret Firm 1's response (at least as you've described it) as troubling. You tried to bargain, they're not in a position to and told you that in a timely fashion - all seems pretty standard and legit.

[Ultramar vistas]

How is what you described even an issue? You state that when you “informally” told the first firm that you had chosen them, that you were waiting for their diversity scholarship info to be released.

Okay - well, now they’ve told you that it’s going to be a while and you’ve told them that someone else is offering you $50K right now. Sounds as if they’re not that interested in playing on your timeline.

Ball is in your court - but unless you’re misrepresenting the conversation, your informal indication of interest was expressly contingent on scholarship money, and no one should be mad at you for walking away now you know the full facts.

If you’re looking for permission to choose the firm that’s offering you $50k, go ahead. No one at Firm 1 will remember you or care in a week.

[Anonymous User]

How is what you described even an issue? You state that when you “informally” told the first firm that you had chosen them, that you were waiting for their diversity scholarship info to be released.

Okay - well, now they’ve told you that it’s going to be a while and you’ve told them that someone else is offering you $50K right now. Sounds as if they’re not that interested in playing on your timeline.

Ball is in your court - but unless you’re misrepresenting the conversation, your informal indication of interest was expressly contingent on scholarship money, and no one should be mad at you for walking away now you know the full facts.

If you’re looking for permission to choose the firm that’s offering you $50k, go ahead. No one at Firm 1 will remember you or care in a week.

Thank you. I want to add that one of the partners who I spoke with at firm 1 asked me if my acceptance was contingent upon getting the money. I for some reason said "not really, but I'd really like to have it anyway". However with the choice now more clear, I actually do think the money is very important. Not sure if that would change your view of the situation.

[Wanderingdrock]

How is what you described even an issue? You state that when you “informally” told the first firm that you had chosen them, that you were waiting for their diversity scholarship info to be released.

Okay - well, now they’ve told you that it’s going to be a while and you’ve told them that someone else is offering you $50K right now. Sounds as if they’re not that interested in playing on your timeline.

Ball is in your court - but unless you’re misrepresenting the conversation, your informal indication of interest was expressly contingent on scholarship money, and no one should be mad at you for walking away now you know the full facts.

If you’re looking for permission to choose the firm that’s offering you $50k, go ahead. No one at Firm 1 will remember you or care in a week.

Thank you. I want to add that one of the partners who I spoke with at firm 1 asked me if my acceptance was contingent upon getting the money. I for some reason said "not really, but I'd really like to have it anyway". However with the choice now more clear, I actually do think the money is very important. Not sure if that would change your view of the situation.

Not the above poster, but it seems clear you've answered your own question. The partner asked you if the money mattered to you, you made the mistake of saying, "No, thank you" to your leverage, and the firm (to which money matters) played the card you gave them, because of course they would - they always will. They're a potential employer and if you join them they will be your employer. You owe them nothing more than the money they've paid you to do a job, which at this point is $0.

[Dcc617]

You’d be a fool to forego the $50K. Follow the money.

[Anonymous User]

How is what you described even an issue? You state that when you “informally” told the first firm that you had chosen them, that you were waiting for their diversity scholarship info to be released.

Okay - well, now they’ve told you that it’s going to be a while and you’ve told them that someone else is offering you $50K right now. Sounds as if they’re not that interested in playing on your timeline.

Ball is in your court - but unless you’re misrepresenting the conversation, your informal indication of interest was expressly contingent on scholarship money, and no one should be mad at you for walking away now you know the full facts.

If you’re looking for permission to choose the firm that’s offering you $50k, go ahead. No one at Firm 1 will remember you or care in a week.

Thank you. I want to add that one of the partners who I spoke with at firm 1 asked me if my acceptance was contingent upon getting the money. I for some reason said "not really, but I'd really like to have it anyway". However with the choice now more clear, I actually do think the money is very important. Not sure if that would change your view of the situation.

Not the above poster, but it seems clear you've answered your own question. The partner asked you if the money mattered to you, you made the mistake of saying, "No, thank you" to your leverage, and the firm (to which money matters) played the card you gave them, because of course they would - they always will. They're a potential employer and if you join them they will be your employer. You owe them nothing more than the money they've paid you to do a job, which at this point is $0.

This might sound silly - but would it be a bad look to go back to them and say, "actually I changed my mind, could I have some money now please?"

The thing is firm 1 gives out very few of these scholarships apparently (5 total for all the offices in the entire country). I don't want to ask because I don't want to give them the impression that I want special treatment, especially since they could potentially be my future colleagues.

[Anonymous User]

The partners aren't going to remember you in a month's time. You're not that special. Most people would turn the firm down without saying anything; if you want to be particularly courteous, you can just drop them an email saying "firm x gave me $50k, which I just can't turn down".

They're partners at a law firm. They'll get it.

[crazywafflez]

Go with the 50k firm. It's fine, you won't personally offend them or anything and within a month this will all fade. Congrats!

[Wanderingdrock]

How is what you described even an issue? You state that when you “informally” told the first firm that you had chosen them, that you were waiting for their diversity scholarship info to be released.

Okay - well, now they’ve told you that it’s going to be a while and you’ve told them that someone else is offering you $50K right now. Sounds as if they’re not that interested in playing on your timeline.

Ball is in your court - but unless you’re misrepresenting the conversation, your informal indication of interest was expressly contingent on scholarship money, and no one should be mad at you for walking away now you know the full facts.

If you’re looking for permission to choose the firm that’s offering you $50k, go ahead. No one at Firm 1 will remember you or care in a week.

Thank you. I want to add that one of the partners who I spoke with at firm 1 asked me if my acceptance was contingent upon getting the money. I for some reason said "not really, but I'd really like to have it anyway". However with the choice now more clear, I actually do think the money is very important. Not sure if that would change your view of the situation.

Not the above poster, but it seems clear you've answered your own question. The partner asked you if the money mattered to you, you made the mistake of saying, "No, thank you" to your leverage, and the firm (to which money matters) played the card you gave them, because of course they would - they always will. They're a potential employer and if you join them they will be your employer. You owe them nothing more than the money they've paid you to do a job, which at this point is $0.

This might sound silly - but would it be a bad look to go back to them and say, "actually I changed my mind, could I have some money now please?"

The thing is firm 1 gives out very few of these scholarships apparently (5 total for all the offices in the entire country). I don't want to ask because I don't want to give them the impression that I want special treatment, especially since they could potentially be my future colleagues.

Think of it the same way we all think of lateraling. It's a job that pays you money and you should - all other things equal, which they often are in Biglaw pre-partnership - do what you need to do to get more money. I won't say it "can't" hurt - I don't know this firm - but it shouldn't and likely won't hurt to go back to the firm (if you, money aside, prefer being there over being at the firm that's offering $50k) and saying, "Look, this other firm is offering me $50k. I really can't turn that down with my student loans as they are. I prefer this firm but can't justify it without the money. Can you match the $50k? Doesn't need to be a scholarship - a bonus, whatever, just I need the money matched or I can't formally accept your offer. Thank you so much for your consideration and understanding!"

Don't say you changed your mind. For all you know, the partner whom you informally told you didn't care about money (still shaking my head over that...) hasn't said a thing to the folks who make these decisions, whoever they are. And even if he has... do they remember? Maybe. Do they care? Perhaps. Should you? No.

[glitched]

I don’t even think you were being dishonest unless you knew firm 2 would give that much. Sure I wouldn’t care about the money all that much if it were $5k. Getting to $50k, now it’s a different story. If it were $500k, you’d be silly not to take it and everyone involved including the partners would agree. It’s all relative.

[Anonymous User]

Thanks all for your advice. The unanimity of the responses in one direction really changed my perspective about the appeal of falling on my sword. I'm gonna negotiate with firm 1 more. See where that takes me.