Lateral guilt-talk me out of it Forum

[Anonymous User]

I have no issues with my current (V50-60) biglaw firm. But a friend referred me to a V20 that’s offering better money and benefits and I accepted the offer. Still feeling awful about telling my great mentors at the firm I’m leaving. They’ve been incredibly kind, but I see a better future elsewhere. I can justify the move easily, but I still feel bad about burning bridges. Anyone have experience with this kind of guilt?

[Anonymous User]

I have no issues with my current (V50-60) biglaw firm. But a friend referred me to a V20 that’s offering better money and benefits and I accepted the offer. Still feeling awful about telling my great mentors at the firm I’m leaving. They’ve been incredibly kind, but I see a better future elsewhere. I can justify the move easily, but I still feel bad about burning bridges. Anyone have experience with this kind of guilt?

Don't feel bad. Sad truth: they will most likely forget about you within a week, if not sooner. Do what's best for you and don't look back.

[Anonymous User]

Don’t feel bad. It’s just business, it’s not a personal rejection and they won’t take it personally. If the people you work with are good mentors, they’ll be happy for you finding something that’s better for you (and if they wanted you to stick around they could offer better pay/benefits).

[Anonymous User]

I have no issues with my current (V50-60) biglaw firm. But a friend referred me to a V20 that’s offering better money and benefits and I accepted the offer. Still feeling awful about telling my great mentors at the firm I’m leaving. They’ve been incredibly kind, but I see a better future elsewhere. I can justify the move easily, but I still feel bad about burning bridges. Anyone have experience with this kind of guilt?

Don't feel bad. As long as you're not doing something egregious, you're not actually burning bridges. I was in a similar situation last year. Everyone understood the lateral bonuses being thrown around. Partners from my former firm have reached out numerous times to see if I have interest in going in-house to their clients.

[papermateflair]

When I lateraled I made a list of reasons not to chicken out - I felt bad because I genuinely liked the people I worked with and in particular had a couple of mentors not in my practice area that had taken me under their wing and it was really difficult to tell them I was leaving. But I really had to remember the things that were making me leave - no room for me to grow in my niche, under paid, wrong city, etc. Moving on was the right decision but it doesn't mean it was an easy decision. The reasons you want to leave aren't going to change. Keep those reasons in mind. You won't be burning bridges as long as you keep your reasons for leaving positive when you tell your current firm (great opportunity at the new firm, not negative things about the current firm). Keep the real list of reasons you're leaving to yourself