Depressed Senior Associate - Need Advice Forum

[Anonymous User]

Apologies for the rant. I'm a senior IP litigation associate with a tech background and good reviews, but I was just told I probably won't be making partner anytime soon. It sucks because I had 75% of my work go away for reason that were completely beyond my control, and I've been struggling for the past few months to resurrect my billables. My hours have been decent (2000-2200), but I know that people making partner are generally higher (at least 2400 for a few years straight). I have three kids and a wife and refuse to completely ignore them and go 100% career-mode, but I guess I should have done it to make partner? Or maybe it's not worth it? I really don't know. I was given the option of gunning for "counsel," which is basically non-equity partner at my firm. Not sure how realistic it is that I even get it, but I add value with my tech background and am generally liked in my practice group. The problem is that I don't really have a "book of business" that's my own, so I've been having to ask people to get on new cases for the first time in a long time, and it just feels like I'm back at square one as a junior/mid-level and it's like wtf have I been doing all these years. Anyway, I just feel burned out and can barely lift a finger to meet an important deadline next week. Looking for motivation and/or abuse.

[Anonymous User]

Apologies for the rant. I'm a senior IP litigation associate with a tech background and good reviews, but I was just told I probably won't be making partner anytime soon. It sucks because I had 75% of my work go away for reason that were completely beyond my control, and I've been struggling for the past few months to resurrect my billables. My hours have been decent (2000-2200), but I know that people making partner are generally higher (at least 2400 for a few years straight). I have three kids and a wife and refuse to completely ignore them and go 100% career-mode, but I guess I should have done it to make partner? Or maybe it's not worth it? I really don't know. I was given the option of gunning for "counsel," which is basically non-equity partner at my firm. Not sure how realistic it is that I even get it, but I add value with my tech background and am generally liked in my practice group. The problem is that I don't really have a "book of business" that's my own, so I've been having to ask people to get on new cases for the first time in a long time, and it just feels like I'm back at square one as a junior/mid-level and it's like wtf have I been doing all these years. Anyway, I just feel burned out and can barely lift a finger to meet an important deadline next week. Looking for motivation and/or abuse.

Hi OP,

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I'm in IP lit as well, but probably a couple years behind you. I'm sure it's hard to have been trying your best for a long time now and to not get the recognition you hoped for that effort. IP cases can be brutal even if you're pulling only 2000-2200 hours, especially with a family. I haven't started mine yet, but I'm not sure how I'll manage when I do.

If it makes you feel better, making partner is often times just as much a matter of luck as it is of merit. Don't take this as a suggestion that you've somehow done something wrong - quite the contrary it sounds like you're doing very well on your reviews. But sometimes the cases don't line up to let you truly shine, the group doesn't need more new partners, or there's just someone the firm likes marginally better taking what would otherwise be your spot. I know a lot of seniors at my firm who I thought were excellent attorneys, and they got passed up simply because there wasn't a spot for them. Sometimes people made it simply because they lucked out with a good case that gave them a niche specialty that the group really needs.

It sounds like our groups are similar - seniors that get elevated routinely bill 2400+ as they step on the runway to partnership. I was informally told by my mentor that billing any less signals to the firm that you aren't "committed" (whatever that means). There's no shame in deciding that life isn't for you. I suspect I might make that same decision when work starts to conflict with my family life.

If I can offer some advice, maybe take a step back and stop thinking about the big picture for a couple weeks. The firm may have said you won't make partner, but they didn't tell you to start looking for employment elsewhere so you have plenty of time to decide what your next steps are. For now, you have good reviews and you're making a bunch of money for less than what some people work (the legal industry is so slammed ATM that coming in below 2200 for a good senior is an accomplishment in and of itself). Take it day by day, hit that deadline like you've been doing for years now, and spend some quality time with those that mean more to you than partnership ever could.

[Anonymous User]

I have three kids and a wife and refuse to completely ignore them and go 100% career-mode, but I guess I should have done it to make partner? Or maybe it's not worth it? I really don't know

Do you know a lot of partners that are happily married with kids that can see them at reasonable hours? I don't mean to be like mean or anything, but 100% career-mode is the minimum expectation for all junior partners and no one hides that fact from anyway. People don't just coast into making partner. They either work like a freaking dog or they get absolutely lucky landing a few big clients.

Of all the junior partners I've worked with, probably at least a third have gone through at least one divorce already, and most of the others spend 95% of their time either in office grinding or out for client development.

Hell, I worked with a divorced partner who had custody of their kid only two nights a week. They couldn't even manage avoiding being on calls and working those nights when they were supposed to just be emotionally bonding with their child.

The problem is that I don't really have a "book of business" that's my own

To make partner, you either (i) are billing enough that you are profitable enough for the firm to make you a service partner for other partners or (ii) you find your own book of business.

While not published, every firm I've worked at has had both a minimum hour requirement for the preceding 2-3 years as well as a minimum origination amount to be considered for equity partner. Otherwise you are up for non-equity partner/of counsel, where you can continue to work on those requirements.

Do you have any opportunities to candidly talk with junior partners and ask them what the actual expectations are? I would imagine your firm, unless it is small, has some set of objective guidelines.

[glitched]

Counsel is the best job at the firm (other than summer associate of course). Yeah it sucks that you've reached your peak, but it's a pretty damn high peak all things considered. It's a hard pill to swallow because to have gotten where you are, you were likely the top dog through all stages - from high school to college to law school. And now, finally, you're not the very top that makes partner.

But that doesn't mean you failed. You actually succeeded at a very high level. Also, as you mentioned, you likely have the skills to make partner, but it probably came down to the sacrifice. And as you mentioned, the sacrifice isn't worth it.

As counsel, you're at a job you know you're good at, that you can coast through, you'll make enough money to retire at 45 (if you wanted to), you don't have to worry about bringing business, you don't have to worry about the partner politics (which I'm sure is filled with so much bullshit), you're not at the whim of your clients, etc. All around benefits - the only thing you're losing is prestige and pay. Plus you actually can still make partner at a different firm, if you really wanted it.

I'm pretty much in your same shoes. It hurts to think I'm finally going to not win it all, but I'd rather focus on other things that make me way happier anyway.

[attorney589753]

The previous two posts had very good practical advice but I would co-sign the "take a step back" idea as well. You made it to senior associate, sounds like you had a really legit shot at partner, and that may not happen now but you can likely flow into counsel position. Overall still a high accomplishment and must reflect that you're a really good lawyer, well-liked, good management skills, and contributing value to the firm and the clients. I can only imagine it's devastating to feel like you've come up short, but doesn't negate what you've built and achieved. There's likely other opportunities available as well, whether it is moving to a new firm or looking in-house, and maybe you want to explore and see what else is out there. Finally, while working with new people are your existing firm can feel like back to square one, I would suggest giving it a few months at least — in my experience good people recognize other talented people, so hopefully it is just a transition issue and other partners/clients quickly recognize your ability and you step right back into the same level of responsibility you had with the other clients.

[Anonymous User]

I was just told I probably won't be making partner anytime soon.

I missed this on the first go. At some firms you get offered counsel many times before having a real shot at partner. Kind of like calling your bluff to see if you'll settle for less pay. If you really want partnership that bad, then push hard and you may still have a shot.

But otherwise (and I know it sucks) this is exactly what you should have expected. Partnership isn't automatic like it used to be. If you don't grind harder than everyone else then you can't really have any expectations.

[Anonymous User]

With the caveat that I'm a junior so not really in a position to advise, wasn't this the expected outcome? Everyone tells me how hard it is to make partner and not to expect that to happen. If that's true, it's not a personal failing on your end that more hours would fix. Counsel sounds like a great opportunity.

[Anonymous User]

With the caveat that I'm a junior so not really in a position to advise, wasn't this the expected outcome? Everyone tells me how hard it is to make partner and not to expect that to happen. If that's true, it's not a personal failing on your end that more hours would fix. Counsel sounds like a great opportunity.

Op here. Counsel at my firm isn't necessarily a permanent landing spot, but I only know a few counsel you have gone on to make partner. It almost feels like counsel is a sort of middle management position--I've seen this sort of thing at other firms and, honestly, it makes sense. If you have people who clients are willing to pay for, despite their ridiculously high billing rates, and they are making their hours, then why would you dump them? I imagine super-senior associates/counsel are some of the most profitable employees of the partners.

[Anonymous User]

It’s very difficult to make partner with a young family unless your spouse is willing to be solely responsible for the kids on nights and weekends on short notice so that you can work. You made a trade-off and I think you should be happy with it. Partners have to work just as hard and they face the same concerns as senior associates, such as anxiety over their employment when a major client goes away or a rainmaker departs.

These days pretty much anyone who bills at least 1800 annually will be kept on indefinitely as counsel. It sounds like you should pursue that in the near-term and then decide whether you want to push for partner, move firms, go in-house, etc. Whatever you do you’ll have a comfortable lifestyle even if you’re not earning equity partner dollars.