How specific to be w/ family emergency Forum
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Anonymous posting is only appropriate when you are revealing sensitive employment related information about a firm, job, etc. You may anonymously respond on topic to these threads. Unacceptable uses include: harassing another user, joking around, testing the feature, or other things that are more appropriate in the lounge.
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Anonymous User
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How specific to be w/ family emergency
My partner overdosed this weekend on a trip with his friends. I knew he had a history, but I was (clearly mistakenly) under the impression that all was under-control. I am now wrapped up in all of his rehab, family, and health (he also broke some of his ribs this weekend) drama. What do I tell my firm? I really do not have the mental capacity to handle work right now and I feel like an unspecific "family emergency" will only get me so far. I really do not want to get into the specifics of what he is going through, but this is clearly going to impact my work for a few weeks. If it helps I am a second year associate. Advice?
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Lukky
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
Firstly, sorry to hear that. That’s awful.
No need to get specific, but do tell a partner that you trust. Fortunately for you, you’re in the hottest legal market of all time, so I would imagine your firm will be understanding. If not, you have plenty of other options.
This is the kind of the thing that takes priority over work. Absolutely get the accommodation that you need.
No need to get specific, but do tell a partner that you trust. Fortunately for you, you’re in the hottest legal market of all time, so I would imagine your firm will be understanding. If not, you have plenty of other options.
This is the kind of the thing that takes priority over work. Absolutely get the accommodation that you need.
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nixy
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
It’s really okay to say “family emergency” and leave it at that. If you want to say “medical emergency” that’s a tiny bit more specific. But no one is entitled to more than that.
(If you mean that the people you work for will be dicks about it and demand more details, I’m not sure how best to handle that, but I just don’t want you to feel like you’re expected to say more.)
I am really sorry you’re dealing with this.
(If you mean that the people you work for will be dicks about it and demand more details, I’m not sure how best to handle that, but I just don’t want you to feel like you’re expected to say more.)
I am really sorry you’re dealing with this.
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Anonymous User
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
"Family medical situation", maybe specify partner to one or two ppl you trust. You absolutely do not need to specify more than that.
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Anonymous User
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
Another option would be to request a leave of absence--even just for a few weeks. If you feel comfortable talking to your assigning partner/group head/whoever takes care of that at your firm, you might be able to get away with telling them in broad strokes what is going on, get approval for the leave, and then just tell everyone else you're going to be on an emergency leave until x date.Anonymous User wrote: ↑Tue Feb 08, 2022 8:52 pm"Family medical situation", maybe specify partner to one or two ppl you trust. You absolutely do not need to specify more than that.
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Anonymous User
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
I simply don't mind if people know about me, so I tend to just say what actually is up.
If you do mind, and want to be vague, people probably won't push back, but details beat generic statements, and if I heard "family emergency" I'd assume it's, like, your child had the flu and you had to cancel daycare or your father fell off a ladder and now you need to drive him around.
If you want people to think it's more serious than that, you can give more detail focusing on the degree of closeness and degree of seriousness. So:
1) Husband (if it's true--if "partner" means "boyfriend" then this is much trickier; if fiance, say that)
2) Is hospitalized for a medical emergency.
If you're uncomfortable with discussing the OD, I'd just stick to "had an accident and broke his ribs"--seems pretty bad!
If you do mind, and want to be vague, people probably won't push back, but details beat generic statements, and if I heard "family emergency" I'd assume it's, like, your child had the flu and you had to cancel daycare or your father fell off a ladder and now you need to drive him around.
If you want people to think it's more serious than that, you can give more detail focusing on the degree of closeness and degree of seriousness. So:
1) Husband (if it's true--if "partner" means "boyfriend" then this is much trickier; if fiance, say that)
2) Is hospitalized for a medical emergency.
If you're uncomfortable with discussing the OD, I'd just stick to "had an accident and broke his ribs"--seems pretty bad!
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nixy
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
It would be great, though, if we could normalize not having to provide personal details that aren’t anyone else’s business.
Also, OP, I don’t know what your leave/financial situation is like, but FMLA leave is probably an option, if you can handle unpaid leave. The reason I mention this as opposed to generic time off is that it’s something (I think) that you could talk to HR about and arrange with HR, and having FMLA leave gets across that it’s a family medical emergency without having to provide more details generally (besides what you have to provide to HR, which to be fair, I don’t know how much detail they require). There are probably pros and cons about going this kind of formal route, but wanted to throw it out there.
Also, OP, I don’t know what your leave/financial situation is like, but FMLA leave is probably an option, if you can handle unpaid leave. The reason I mention this as opposed to generic time off is that it’s something (I think) that you could talk to HR about and arrange with HR, and having FMLA leave gets across that it’s a family medical emergency without having to provide more details generally (besides what you have to provide to HR, which to be fair, I don’t know how much detail they require). There are probably pros and cons about going this kind of formal route, but wanted to throw it out there.
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Anonymous User
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Re: How specific to be w/ family emergency
I personally would not disclose the overdose element - we've come a long way but there is still a lot of judgment around addiction. I would say that my partner is hospitalized with a serious medical condition and leave it at that. That explanation is 100% true and conveys the extremely serious and stressful nature of what is happening. Good luck. I have been in your shoes and it is an exhausting and trying time but it can get better.
