How to avoid being constantly stressed? Forum

[hengha12]

I am a first year associate working with a pretty demanding partner. He has a very high expectation of my work product, and would use some not so nice language in emails and video calls when I mess up (typos, wrong cross references etc.). I feel constantly stressed when seeing his email or sending work product to him. Is there a good way to handle this problem? Thanks!

[Anonymous User]

I am a first year associate working with a pretty demanding partner. He has a very high expectation of my work product, and would use some not so nice language in emails and video calls when I mess up (typos, wrong cross references etc.). I feel constantly stressed when seeing his email or sending work product to him. Is there a good way to handle this problem? Thanks!

Sorry to hear that. A lot of us have dealt with a situation like this, but that doesn't make it okay.

Are you at a large firm? If so, I'd say that especially as a first year, this guy has very little power over the direction of your life or career. In my experience, partners like this churn through associates, both because their demands are absurdly high and will move on from those they don't like, and because associates have no desire to tough it out and please people like that.

It sucks that he's being mean and causing stress, but to the extent possible, remind yourself that you're just as good at your job as every other first year - EVERY first year makes mistakes - and if this partner is too thick to remember that, that's his problem, not yours. And remember that this too shall pass, because you'll get work from other partners who are more humane. And if you don't within a few months and are still being treated poorly, lateral! The market's hot!

[Anonymous User]

Might be worth talking to your associate mentor about this or anyone you've built some sort of relationship with (understood this might be tougher in a remote environment), or the central staffing person for your group (if there is one). Remember that you do have the ability to exercise some level of control over the direction of your career. Do what you can to position yourself to receive work from other people. If this partner has a particularly dominant position in your current practice area, see what you can do to switch groups (or firms if you really want to be in that practice area).

I don't think associates really get fired that often from large law firms in this job market barring grossly inappropriate behavior. That's not to say that you should act with impunity, but I don't think you need to worry too much about getting pushed out just because you tried to backchannel yourself away from a tyrannical partner.

[Anonymous User]

I am a first year associate working with a pretty demanding partner. He has a very high expectation of my work product, and would use some not so nice language in emails and video calls when I mess up (typos, wrong cross references etc.). I feel constantly stressed when seeing his email or sending work product to him. Is there a good way to handle this problem? Thanks!

Welcome to the rest of your life. And that's not to say it is appropriate to yell or swear at anyone in a work setting (it isn't), but you'll find this happens in big law, I've experienced it. Even where folks are not using swear words I've had people provide sarcastic and downright cruel remarks on work product that are totally unproductive. Best things you can do are (1) try your best to find work from others and avoid said partner; (2) numb yourself to the experience.

[hengha12]

Thanks guys, those were very helpful! I am at a large firm with assignment system, and I have taken this project without knowing too much about this particular partner. Hopefully I can just avoid him in the future, as I have worked with other partners who have very different styles of work that I feel more comfortable with.

[papermateflair]

Do you have enough turnaround time to ask someone else (like your assistant or the word processing center) to read your work for typos before you send it to him? That's more of a practical solution than figuring out how to deal with someone acting that way (which is not ok!).

Another thought is that whether you have a more senior associate in your group that you could put between you and the partner. I try and review things that the junior associate I work with does before they send it to the partner, because then if something is wrong I can help take the heat off them a little. Not sure if that would work with your group and the personalities of folks more senior than you, but I hope you are in a group where more senior associates would be willing to help you (it's in their best interest so that *you* become the associate of the difficult partner, and not them).

Of course, if this is just one assignment out of hundreds you'll have as a junior, if you make this partner hate you but everyone else otherwise likes your work, that's the dream. Never do excellent work for people who will make your life miserable, just do a decent enough job so that they can't fire you and you will never have to work with them again.