Why don’t more biglaw attorneys refuse RTO? Forum

[Anonymous User]

My kids know that I'm "going to work", whether I get in the car or go to my cave.

Wish my coworkers' kids knew this. I swear, every Zoom meeting someone's kids are hopping in front of the webcam, talking loudly and/or waving at people on the screen. Like, I get it's a struggle to have kids at home while working (I'm a parent as well), but a lot of these kids are old enough to understand that they shouldn't be disturbing their parents while they're clearly in a meeting (think 7 to 10 years old). I don't understand how these boundaries haven't been set after almost two years of a pandemic. I'm starting to think that a lot of parents in this profession are just kinda...bad at parenting.

Hell, last year I had a job interview and my interviewer had her child sitting on her lap the whole interview. It was so distracting. Again, I try to be understanding and patient with people, but a line has to be drawn somewhere...

This goes back to the room with a door and child care issue, and having kids going nuts at home and stressed out from the pandemic and so on. Personally I agree that it’s really annoying to have kids pop up in a Zoom meeting (though FWIW I still love to see pets) but I don’t think it’s always as easy as saying “a 7-10 year old should know not to interrupt a meeting.” I think it also depends on the meeting and the parent trying to pick their battles - some meetings it would be affirmatively inappropriate, others it’s just annoying and it may not be worth it to the parent to police.

Basically there are always going to be annoyances, they just change depending on the setting.

[Anonymous User]

Yup, agree with the above. It was cute in March 2020, back when we were all in this together, two weeks to flatten the curve etc. Can still see circumstances where it's okay to have kids/pets visible, but generally keep your home office as professional as possible.

to me it's an issue of just like, basic courtesy to the other people on the call.

like this is 4pm on a Fri, I have other things I want to be doing that I'm not. instead, I'm talking to you about some work thing. can we focus, get this over with, and then I can drop off and deal with other stuff?

when you're bringing your fucking dog on, or your kid, like...I know you're not paying attention, you're wasting everyone's time

this isn't me condescending to juniors, btw -I'm a junior. this is how I feel when some midlevel does it to me. I don't wanna watch you screw around with your pekingese, just ... focus and tell me what to do

[Anonymous User]

Okay, I’ll caveat my previous comment about liking to see people’s pets by saying that I like seeing them wander on camera or the like, not necessarily the owner playing with them. Or even if they’re sitting in your lap while you talk, fine.

But then I don’t know anyone who’s actively brought their child/pet into a zoom meeting, as opposed to responding to one that’s interrupted. (Maybe it makes a difference that I’m in lit, and you absolutely *have* to have some kind of private space for hearings with the court?)

[Anonymous User]

Gonna push back on the "pets but no kids" comment. (Which I know isn't exactly what you said/meant, just wanna vent in general when I see this attitude, hence why this isn't a quote reply)

You gotta pick, either it's cute to share (alt framing -- it's okay to overshare home life), or it's a distraction. But pets / no kids = prioritize animals over humans; implies it's more socially acceptable to have pets than kids. That's not okay in my book. (Again, I know this isn't really what you meant and it's not a direct reply, nor am I trying to start a fight with the community of pet-owners)

[Anonymous User]

The immense joy it brings me when I see a little cat slinking in the background of a Zoom call, though.

[Anonymous User]

The immense joy it brings me when I see a little cat slinking in the background of a Zoom call, though.

Thank you.

My point of "pets but not kids" was based on my assumptions about the degree of disruption (the golden retriever wandering into screen =/= a kid coming up and asking something from their parent or saying hi to people on the screen), but then, I am someone that Pope Francis would consider selfish and lacking in humanity).

(That said, I agree that generally, people are going to have time devoted to their kids held against them more than time devoted to their pets.)

[Anonymous User]

implies it's more socially acceptable to have pets than kids.

Welcome to the 2020s.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

I cannot stress enough how much I'd rather see your kids or your pets than you on video. If you will not show me anything interesting, feel free to turn your video off.

I got a lot of shit going on behind me and have no interest in making sure the washing machine isn't running or whatever. Anyone who doesn't like that can either ask me what time works for me (they never do) or better yet, not include me at all.

[papermateflair]

I cannot stress enough how much I'd rather see your kids or your pets than you on video. If you will not show me anything interesting, feel free to turn your video off.

I got a lot of shit going on behind me and have no interest in making sure the washing machine isn't running or whatever. Anyone who doesn't like that can either ask me what time works for me (they never do) or better yet, not include me at all.

100% this. We're working from home during an endless global pandemic, I literally never stop working now, please please give me the small joy of seeing your cat or listening to your dog bark at the mail or hearing whatever shenanigans your kids have going on in the background. If you think it's unprofessional that people may sometimes have something in the work space that is not related to work (OBVIOUSLY there are extreme exceptions to this) then please go back to the office and look at everyone's family pictures, kid art, etc. - no one has ever been in 100% Lawyer Mode at this job (well, maybe someone out there has, but I haven't yet encountered that person).

[randomthrowaway]

Can we just get away from all of this Zoom nonsense? Pre-pandemic, regular conference calls were fine. Now everything has to be a Zoom/Teams/Webex meeting and it's exhausting.

[Anonymous User]

Can we just get away from all of this Zoom nonsense? Pre-pandemic, regular conference calls were fine. Now everything has to be a Zoom/Teams/Webex meeting and it's exhausting.

It has to roll downhill. I always tell juniors, in any context, that I am open to a call or a Zoom, if they'd prefer. I've never had someone choose a Zoom. But it seems my seniors always choose Zoom.