How do you make sure a renege goes as amicably as possible? Forum

[Anonymous User]

I just had a huge change in circumstances that will require me to renege on my post-graduation job. It's a family-related issue so I think it's at least somewhat justified, and the HR people at the firm were very chill during the summer. But I've also heard some nightmare stories when it comes to renege conversations, where previously friendly HR people turned very hostile in a matter of seconds. So I want to mentally prepare myself as to what to expect and make sure things go as smoothly as possible without burning bridges if possible.

Are there standard procedures or courtesies for a renege conversation? Do they usually involve just a quick call with one person from HR or is it going to involve more elaborate talks with higher-ups?

Should I email first and then call? Should I just call HR without an email?

Advice would be much appreciated.

[Anonymous User]

I've heard that you should call, not email, out of respect. There aren't rules to this. You could let them know about the change in circumstances so that they can understand you better, but OTOH you don't owe them an explanation. Can you talk to your career services counselor about this? Let us know how it goes and good luck.

[Anonymous User]

I reneged on an offer with a firm in the Spring of my 3L year, and did so by calling my recruiting contact rather than emailing just because I felt like it was a bit more respectful. I found the process to be very amicable (e.g. I offered to pay back my bar prep course and they told me not to bother). I think it helped that (a) the firm has a huge NYC summer class, and so I was completely fungible as one of almost 100 corporate associates, and (b) I was reneging to pursue a non-firm job, but if the HR person had been hostile I would have just felt even better about reneging and like I dodged a bullet. It doesn't hurt to be appropriately apologetic and of course be respectful, but really at the end of the day I don't think you owe the firm anything and if the situation were somehow reversed I am sure your post-graduation job would not think twice about reneging your offer.

[k_moreno]

It doesn't hurt to be appropriately apologetic and of course be respectful, but really at the end of the day I don't think you owe the firm anything and if the situation were somehow reversed I am sure your post-graduation job would not think twice about reneging your offer.

This 100%. It's a business, and a very big one. Obviously don't be a jerk, but you don't owe them anything. And like the poster said, your firm doesn't care about you either. If they turn hostile, just remember that the fact that you're even calling is a courtesy and hang up.

[CanadianWolf]

Renege two weeks in advance & see whether or not you get severance pay.