Absolutely miserable about returning to the office Forum

[Anonymous User]

Need to vent really quickly. I am a first-year litigator who has absolutely loved work from home. I am able to work long hours and still have time to have dinner with my significant other every night. My firm is bringing us back into the office in September and I just feel entirely trapped. Not just because I have zero desire to commute to the office and sit in uncomfortable clothing all day, but because I need to move. I have ridden out the pandemic in a massive 2 bedroom apartment that I absolutely love in a lower cost of living city. I now have to give all that up to go pay >$1k more a month for a decently comparable 1 bedroom apartment to be within a 30-minute commute of my office. The cities are, of course, different jurisdictions so I cannot even contemplate being a junior lateral for at least another year.

It doesn't help that the case that eats up much of my time right now is out of another office - so I will be moving and going to the office just to sit on zoom. I am absolutely distraught and need someone to talk me off the ledge.

[Anonymous User]

I feel this so hard. I didn't move to a different city, but I thrived during WFH.

I HATE the office. I'm not nearly as productive, and the commute + getting ready + everything taking longer in the office makes my busy days absolutely brutal (just work and sleep because the one hour I might have to workout, hang out with my SO, etc. is eaten by the commute). My office hasn't mandated a return but most people come in four days a week, at least. I'm trying to push back and do three days a week but having a hard time. I am so beyond miserable.

If anyone knows of Texas biglaw firms allowing a hybrid model, please let me know.

[Right2BearArms]

Sorry to hear you feel this way, and I understand (to some extent). OP, you say you are a 1st year, so I assume you never worked in the office prior to starting full time (probably as a summer associate, but that is different). If that is the case, I urge you to see what office life is like before giving up on it. Though I am probably in the minority, being in the office and around other people has helped my mental state significantly. Its nice to be able to walk to someone's office and talk during a lul in the day rather than start laundry or do dishes, and I have been in a better mood since more in-office interaction has occurred.

That said, I am pretty positive I have some of the best big law collogues there are, and I cannot promise this will be better for everyone. I also take your point about cost of living, etc., though given the lateral market right now, I would suspect there is a firm open to semi-in-office working that would hire you.

To the second poster, plenty of TX firms doing a hybrid approach to return to the office. The non-Texas legacy firms in particular (KE, LW, Sidley, W&C, etc.) seem to be more WFH friendly than some of the local offices. I am at a big national firm and I doubt I will ever be in the office more than 3 days a week again.

Feel free to DM me if you want to discuss any specifics.

[Anonymous User]

...I urge you to see what office life is like before giving up on it. Though I am probably in the minority, being in the office and around other people has helped my mental state significantly. Its nice to be able to walk to someone's office and talk during a lul in the day rather than start laundry or do dishes, and I have been in a better mood since more in-office interaction has occurred.

To each their own, but that brings me little comfort.

I worked for a few years before law school, and I remember how much time I used to waste chatting with coworkers about random garbage -- particularly whining about office politics. Sure, I made a few really great lifelong friends, but that job was a 9-5 with relatively low expectations compared with biglaw. Having never ending deadlines, calls that go to midnight, and constantly needing to be 100% available - those factors make me want to reclaim as much of my time as I can. I would much rather lift weights, do the dishes, or spend time with my significant other during a lul than talk to other attorneys about all the stressful shit they're doing, which partners suck to work for, etc.

If I could be 100% remote forever, I 100% would take that option.

[Anonymous User]

edit - double post

[nihil?]

I enjoy shooting the breeze with coworkers more than doing chores too, but those chores need to get done regardless. It's been a huge lifestyle upgrade getting things done during little breaks in the day rather than doing them after work when they're either cutting into my free time or my sleep. The energy/uplift I get from in-person interactions is just so outweighed by the wasted time commuting, at least for me.

[Anonymous User]

Sucks that you’re a litigator. Multiple remote opportunities out there for me, I will jume at end of the year

[objctnyrhnr]

Has anybody considered just not going to office at nearly the frequency purportedly required at some of these return to office firms? It’s a hot market for associates in all sectors and correspondingly firms are light on associates relative to work that needs to be done.

What’s really the worst case scenario if one stealthfully only shows up a day or two max per week at office, where 3-4 is supposedly required? Are people really going to notice and if so would they really say anything?

(Maybe being more senior would make this easier to pull off.)

[Anonymous User]

Has anybody considered just not going to office at nearly the frequency purportedly required at some of these return to office firms? It’s a hot market for associates in all sectors and correspondingly firms are light on associates relative to work that needs to be done.

What’s really the worst case scenario if one stealthfully only shows up a day or two max per week at office, where 3-4 is supposedly required? Are people really going to notice and if so would they really say anything?

(Maybe being more senior would make this easier to pull off.)

We're not required to be back until after labor day so no one has tested it out yet, but based on conversations I've had it seems like our work from home policy may be more flexible than written, especially for those who are more senior. The risk is always that someone who really cares makes a big deal about not seeing you in the office, so it's probably smart to be strategic on your work from home days if you can, make sure you're making the most of your in office time (walk the halls and make sure the people who care see you), that type of thing.

[Anonymous User]

Has anybody considered just not going to office at nearly the frequency purportedly required at some of these return to office firms? It’s a hot market for associates in all sectors and correspondingly firms are light on associates relative to work that needs to be done.

What’s really the worst case scenario if one stealthfully only shows up a day or two max per week at office, where 3-4 is supposedly required? Are people really going to notice and if so would they really say anything?

(Maybe being more senior would make this easier to pull off.)

This is what I'm doing. I am only going in three days a week right now - we have no official policy but most people go in 4-5 days. What are they going to do? Transactional market is on fire. They aren't going to fire me.

[Anonymous User]

What are they going to do? Transactional market is on fire. They aren't going to fire me.

This. My juniors decided on their own which days of the week they would go into the office (2-3 days each) so that there is always someone there to handle hard-copies, but otherwise, I couldn't care less how often they come in as long as the work is getting done, firm policy or not.

[Anonymous User]

Need to vent really quickly. I am a first-year litigator who has absolutely loved work from home. I am able to work long hours and still have time to have dinner with my significant other every night. My firm is bringing us back into the office in September and I just feel entirely trapped. Not just because I have zero desire to commute to the office and sit in uncomfortable clothing all day, but because I need to move. I have ridden out the pandemic in a massive 2 bedroom apartment that I absolutely love in a lower cost of living city. I now have to give all that up to go pay >$1k more a month for a decently comparable 1 bedroom apartment to be within a 30-minute commute of my office. The cities are, of course, different jurisdictions so I cannot even contemplate being a junior lateral for at least another year.

It doesn't help that the case that eats up much of my time right now is out of another office - so I will be moving and going to the office just to sit on zoom. I am absolutely distraught and need someone to talk me off the ledge.

My firm was always remote friendly even before the pandemic. While you may still have to move to the city you're working in - this doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be in the office 12+hours/day, 5days/week.

For reference, pre-pandemic I came in 3-4x a week and never stayed past 6 or 7pm. Many people were in even less frequently than me.

[Anonymous User]

Second year at a firm that bumped to the $205k scale. I would gladly give up the raise to work remotely full time. It feels like I'm commuting to Auschwitz every day.

[Definitely Not North]

Second year at a firm that bumped to the $205k scale. I would gladly give up the raise to work remotely full time. It feels like I'm commuting to Auschwitz every day.

[objctnyrhnr]

Second year at a firm that bumped to the $205k scale. I would gladly give up the raise to work remotely full time. It feels like I'm commuting to Auschwitz every day.

Probably shouldn’t say anything out loud that even remotely constitutes comparing your white collar life experiences to the holocaust. Just a life tip.

[Anonymous User]

Second year at a firm that bumped to the $205k scale. I would gladly give up the raise to work remotely full time. It feels like I'm commuting to Auschwitz every day.

This is a horrible take. Not even funny at all.

[Anonymous User]

Second year at a firm that bumped to the $205k scale. I would gladly give up the raise to work remotely full time. It feels like I'm commuting to Auschwitz every day.

Uh huh. That's not insulting at all. What the fuck is wrong with you?

[jotarokujo]

Second year at a firm that bumped to the $205k scale. I would gladly give up the raise to work remotely full time. It feels like I'm commuting to Auschwitz every day.

This is a horrible take. Not even funny at all.

poorly adjusted folks with bad senses of humor

[Anonymous User]

My firm adopted a 3-day-a-week model. The partner I work for has made clear that he expects 5-days-a-week regardless. Annoyed and want to lateral, but also the amount of effort it would take me to lateral and relearn a new firm's culture etc etc is too high so screw it. I'll just be a 5-day-a-weeker. Sigh.

[Anonymous User]

My firm adopted a 3-day-a-week model. The partner I work for has made clear that he expects 5-days-a-week regardless. Annoyed and want to lateral, but also the amount of effort it would take me to lateral and relearn a new firm's culture etc etc is too high so screw it. I'll just be a 5-day-a-weeker. Sigh.

Man, I'd die before doing five days a week.

What happens if people just don't go in five days a week? Presumably if you are decent at your job and add value, nothing?