Closing dinners: okay to skip?

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Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jun 08, 2021 2:21 pm

So, I have finally invited to my first closing dinner (largely because of COVID) as a result of my work on a Biglaw IPO. However, I don't really want to attend. I'm firmly in the place where I know I am not gunning for partner, and I want to minimize my time spent on the firm as much as possible. I'm also quite introverted and I know the night will be just be something I want to forget as soon as possible, if I do attend. I know, it's free food that is good and expensive and a good networking opportunity, but I don't want to stay in this geographical area, so I don't see how it would help me per se. I'm just worried that it is a really bad look to not show up. Anyone have any experience on this?

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jun 08, 2021 2:56 pm

As someone that is also fairly introvered, I would go. Just tell yourself in your head that it's mandatory. You can make up a reason why you can't and get out of it, but you know you should go, so my advice is to just suck it up for a night and enjoy the yums.

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by Anonymous User » Tue Jun 08, 2021 2:57 pm

You’re overthinking this. Just make up another obligation and say you have to do that instead. But that said I’d encourage you to go, even if you don’t feel like it. You never know who might be there who might be able to help you in the future. Even if you’re moving somewhere else, maybe someone will have a cousin or a friend in the new area they can put you in touch with?

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Definitely Not North

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by Definitely Not North » Tue Jun 08, 2021 3:32 pm

You should definitely go to a closing dinner. They are rare these days to begin with.

notinbiglaw

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by notinbiglaw » Tue Jun 08, 2021 3:50 pm

Closing dinner is one of the few events in biglaw where everyone has a good reason to be in a good mood. Just go, leave early if you must. But you have to get at least a toast and some greetings in. Make up a reason to leave early like your wife got called in for a shift and you have to watch the baby or something.

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notinbiglaw

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by notinbiglaw » Tue Jun 08, 2021 3:52 pm

Closing dinner is one of the few events in biglaw where everyone has a good reason to be in a good mood. Just go, leave early if you must. But you have to get at least a toast and some greetings in. Make up a reason to leave early like your wife got called in for a shift and you have to watch the baby or something.

That said, if you already have good working relationships with everyone involved, don't bother if you don't want to.

LBJ's Hair

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by LBJ's Hair » Tue Jun 08, 2021 3:54 pm

They're fun, I'd go. (OK, "fun" in a relative sense)

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by FedFan123 » Tue Jun 08, 2021 7:23 pm

Just don’t talk that much, smile and nod, and enjoy the quality of food, drink and ambience of a 2 star Michelin restaurant. Stupid to skip - they are a perk, not a burden.

ClubberLang

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by ClubberLang » Tue Jun 08, 2021 7:35 pm

Ok to skip, but the rationales you've presented here as to how it will not help you, per se, suggest that this event will be a much needed opportunity for personal and professional growth.

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nixy

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by nixy » Tue Jun 08, 2021 8:07 pm

ClubberLang wrote:
Tue Jun 08, 2021 7:35 pm
Ok to skip, but the rationales you've presented here as to how it will not help you, per se, suggest that this event will be a much needed opportunity for personal and professional growth.
This seems a little much.

LittleRedCorvette

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by LittleRedCorvette » Tue Jun 08, 2021 9:00 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jun 08, 2021 2:21 pm
So, I have finally invited to my first closing dinner (largely because of COVID) as a result of my work on a Biglaw IPO. However, I don't really want to attend. I'm firmly in the place where I know I am not gunning for partner, and I want to minimize my time spent on the firm as much as possible. I'm also quite introverted and I know the night will be just be something I want to forget as soon as possible, if I do attend. I know, it's free food that is good and expensive and a good networking opportunity, but I don't want to stay in this geographical area, so I don't see how it would help me per se. I'm just worried that it is a really bad look to not show up. Anyone have any experience on this?
Hell just skip it, who cares. This job is a massive time sink as is, why pretend you care about the IPO closing.

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lolwutpar

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by lolwutpar » Tue Jun 08, 2021 9:03 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Tue Jun 08, 2021 2:21 pm
So, I have finally invited to my first closing dinner (largely because of COVID) as a result of my work on a Biglaw IPO. However, I don't really want to attend. I'm firmly in the place where I know I am not gunning for partner, and I want to minimize my time spent on the firm as much as possible. I'm also quite introverted and I know the night will be just be something I want to forget as soon as possible, if I do attend. I know, it's free food that is good and expensive and a good networking opportunity, but I don't want to stay in this geographical area, so I don't see how it would help me per se. I'm just worried that it is a really bad look to not show up. Anyone have any experience on this?
I'm all for calling out a lot of the biglaw (and law generally) crap as being dumb and not worth your time, especially if you aren't trying to make it long, but I feel like the bolded is a mistake on your part. I don't really care for schmoozing, but the people at the client you'll socialize with may very well be the people that you have a connection with in a future for a good job opportunity. I've gotten most of my jobs through "who you know" - even if they aren't that close to you, a good word goes a long way in a sea of dozens or hundreds of candidates.

texas1100

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by texas1100 » Tue Jun 08, 2021 11:44 pm

Doesn’t matter, make up a conflict and skip it

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blair.waldorf

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by blair.waldorf » Wed Jun 09, 2021 10:16 am

texas1100 wrote:
Tue Jun 08, 2021 11:44 pm
Doesn’t matter, make up a conflict and skip it
Yeah I don’t even understand why this is a thread. Just say you have a conflict if you don’t want to go.

Sad248

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Re: Closing dinners: okay to skip?

Post by Sad248 » Thu Jun 10, 2021 7:55 am

I don't think there is much lost to not go. Maybe there will be question of "where is X?!" but then people will carry on as per usual. I think it is a good start to lay personal connections, however, but I don't think the firm will hold it against you, so it's really a personal choice if you think a night of grinning and bearing it is worth the potential payoff, jobswise through networking.

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