biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

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how often do you go to therapy

don't go
135
65%
less than once a month
5
2%
once a month
5
2%
2-3 times a month
24
12%
once a week
37
18%
more than once a week
2
1%
 
Total votes: 208

jotarokujo

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biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by jotarokujo » Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:01 pm

biglaw is extremely conducive to requiring counseling.

at t14s, it's already extremely common for students to consistently seek counseling. wonder how much that remains in biglaw

wondering about data

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by jacketyellow » Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:09 pm

jotarokujo wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:01 pm
biglaw is extremely conducive to requiring counseling.

at t14s, it's already extremely common for students to consistently seek counseling. wonder how much that remains in biglaw

wondering about data
When I was in biglaw, I used to go to therapy once a week. Then, I got in trouble for "leaving the office during work hours." I stopped going, and my mental health suffered. After leaving biglaw, I got back into therapy. I also work in government now, and before the pandemic, I could leave the office and take advantage of therapy.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by showusyourtorts » Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:17 pm

I voted "none".

I don't see a therapist, but I definitely want to (and have been putting it off.... for years). I imagine it couldn't hurt my mental health, and that it would be relatively easy to maintain a weekly appointment, even during weekdays in biglaw, given the teletherapy services available these days.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Mar 24, 2021 5:38 pm

I don’t, other than psychiatrist visits related to my ADHD medication. The scheduling difficulty is a factor, but it’s also the unhelpful frustration of feeling like I have to “validate” what biglaw is like - i.e., “I’m not just a workaholic, they really do expect me to be available on weekends and at night without advance notice,” and “no, it’s actually not that unusual that I don’t find the work I’m doing to be rewarding.”

I know that there are therapists out there who focus on clients in this kind of “Wall Street” environment, but the ones that I’ve been able to find or have had recommended to me basically never take my insurance (which has 0 coverage for out-of-network mental health) and are really expensive without it.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:11 pm

The other day I had to cancel my therapy session because a matter blew up. Aside from that I’ve been able to make most appointments, since they’re all over zoom.

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lolwutpar

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by lolwutpar » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:13 pm

Therapy is one of those things I keep saying it would be good to do...but I never actually do it.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by jacketyellow » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:23 pm

lolwutpar wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:13 pm
Therapy is one of those things I keep saying it would be good to do...but I never actually do it.
You should whenever you can.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:57 pm

V10 mid-level here. Have been on and off for the last 4 years, for a variety of reasons but especially including work anxiety and stress. If you feel like you could use some help for any reason you should absolutely carve out the 45 minutes, feel no shame and take care of yourself.

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JCougar

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by JCougar » Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:14 pm

There should be an option on this poll for "don't go but want to." Otherwise, I don't think it's capturing the full panoply of opinion.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Mar 24, 2021 11:44 pm

JCougar wrote:
Wed Mar 24, 2021 9:14 pm
There should be an option on this poll for "don't go but want to." Otherwise, I don't think it's capturing the full panoply of opinion.
+1.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:36 am

I go solely because of my biglaw job and have been going for about a year. It’s been immensely helpful and I have only had to move the session once or twice. Obviously it’s easier with telehealth, but when we were in the office I found a provider 10 minutes away. I blocked my calendar and would just tell anyone who asked that I was “tied up” or had “a conflict”.

I highly recommend it. I primarily use it to deal with stress and work anxiety.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Scissero » Thu Mar 25, 2021 10:42 am

I have been meaning to go for years. I self-stigmatize the idea of needing counseling but I know that is a bad take. Recent events have finally pushed me to take the leap.

Long story short, I have my first session scheduled this week.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:19 am

I went once and had a bad experience. Therapist wanted to detain me. Friends convinced police to let me go. Never again.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by jotarokujo » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:36 am

i am curious about what percent of the "don't go" want to go. I suppose i didn't really consider that being a big group, but i guess it may be. i'm surprised that that would be a significant portion because 45 minutes every other week is honestly pretty doable in biglaw...that's one session of working out. i can't see seniors complaining that you're at a medical appointment, like a dentist, and i think that holds for therapy

i also wonder if going to therapy is more common for people in nyc and dc biglaw than in other markets

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:43 am

I think the issue isn’t necessarily finding the time for the session, but just overcoming the inertia and finding someone and making the appointment. Cost shouldn’t really be an issue for biglaw folks, but it’s hard to identify the right person and if you are billing a ton of hours right now, researching that can be easy to put off (and a lot of therapists are full up right now). And there is some fear of stigma still.

I’m also REALLY intrigued by what someone would do/say at a first therapy appt that would give a therapist any basis at all to detain them, although it’s obviously none of my business. (Either the therapist was just batshit, in which case, totally fair but an actual sensible therapist won’t do that, or the patient actually has some issues, in which case an alternative therapist still sounds like a good idea!)

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:44 am

I used to go once a week around lunchtime. A bunch of my friends in biglaw also did some level of therapy, which helped convince me to go as well, since I realized I was in good company and not being "weak".

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:47 am

I want to go very badly, but I literally cannot find the time to do so.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 1:05 pm

DC biglaw junior. Had started therapy about a month or two before starting at my firm in January, and have continued to go once a week.

Could not recommend it more. It’s extremely helpful, and I haven’t had any difficulties making appointments so far since they are online. Although I am slightly concerned over how it will work once we start going back into the office.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:09 pm

What's the benefit?

I've been before for family issues, but thankfully my life is better now and having money really helps with some of those issues.

What kind of tips can they give? It's obvious finding a new job is the solution.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:22 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:09 pm
What's the benefit?

I've been before for family issues, but thankfully my life is better now and having money really helps with some of those issues.

What kind of tips can they give? It's obvious finding a new job is the solution.
For me, it was more about learning to cope and deal with things while I was there. Yes, finding a new job is often a big part of the solution, but I wanted to form better habits and adopt a healthier mindset since those are also pieces of the puzzle.

As for practical tips, my therapist helped me with my stress management, helped me break down my thought processes in a way that stops me from mentally punishing myself, and helped me contextualize and keep things in a bigger picture (since its so easy to get drawn into the weeds in biglaw). And honestly, to someone who doesn't really like opening up about myself, it was a welcome release each week to just be able to be 100% honest on everything, both good and bad, and allow myself to be vulnerable for a moment in a safe place with someone who isn't judging me at all.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 4:24 pm

I mean they can’t stop partners from dumping stuff on you and ruining your plans and so on, but they can help you deal with the resulting anxiety and stress, even if you can’t change the source. For instance, you may have noticed that a lot of high-achieving people, of the kind that end up in biglaw, invest a lot of their identity and self-worth in work and affirmation from others. Working through that with a therapist can help change your perspective on shitty work conditions so they don’t mess with your head as much.

(Pretty much scooped by the anon above me.)

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by nixy » Thu Mar 25, 2021 6:39 pm

Dude. Why do you have to shit on a thread that could be helpful to people?


Mod note: deleted post to which this one responded. Figured I’d leave this here for the record but lmk if you want it down.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:02 pm

I don't want to derail, but does anyone have a link that accurately describes what therapy is like. I'm in a biglaw rut and maybe it'd be helpful.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by Anonymous User » Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:23 pm

Mid note via edit to post quoting deleted post:

Deleted original post to which this one responded and warned user. Deleted this one as well cause it became irrelevant after I got rid of the original one, but used this opportunity to explain.

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Re: biglawyers: how often do you go to therapy, if at all

Post by objctnyrhnr » Thu Mar 25, 2021 9:15 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
Thu Mar 25, 2021 7:02 pm
I don't want to derail, but does anyone have a link that accurately describes what therapy is like. I'm in a biglaw rut and maybe it'd be helpful.
Hey all, used my mod hammer which I rarely ever do. Flame (which is a kind word for it) tried to derail a conversation about what I think is an important topic. But hope this thread carries on.

Personally, I do not see a therapist but I definitely think it could be helpful and it’s something I consider every so often.

Seriously? What are you waiting for?

Now there's a charge.
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