Fear and BigLaw Forum

[Anonymous User]

I’m a new associate and have been afraid pretty much the entirety of the time so far working at my firm. I dread getting assignments, haven’t enjoyed the work much so far, get anxiety even checking my phone to see if there are emails, and feel like I’m always messing up something to some degree.

Can anyone else relate to this and did it get better, or should I just expect to deal with it until I’m willing to quit?

[Anonymous User]

I’m a new associate and have been afraid pretty much the entirety of the time so far working at my firm. I dread getting assignments, haven’t enjoyed the work much so far, get anxiety even checking my phone to see if there are emails, and feel like I’m always messing up something to some degree.

Can anyone else relate to this and did it get better, or should I just expect to deal with it until I’m willing to quit?

I am a second year and have experienced the exact same emotions. I have had my ringer off on my phone for over a year now because the ping noise that my email app makes gives me so much anxiety. When I am busy, I dread and fear messing something up or missing something. When I am not busy, I dread and fear getting more work only to then have my non busy matter pick back up (which happens often). Fwiw, it has not gotten better for me and I do not see a long term future for me in biglaw. It is simply incompatible with my long term well being and mental health.

[Lestersandy]

Wish I could ease your mind but truth is just get used to it. This is big law. It’s how it goes and how many associates live. You basically never really get away and the phone notification can literally come at any time.

Best thing to do is set aside time where you just don’t look at your phone or computer at all. Get away for a bit. Be comfortable with telling people no. Be comfortable with not responding to emails right away. Be comfortable not being a “top” associate. Who cares.

If you want to get out eventually, spend some time thinking about an end goal. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Browse potential jobs that would be exits. Maybe that’s weird but it has helped me keep this in perspective. This is temporary. So just grind and run out the clock.

[NoLongerALurker]

Wish I could ease your mind but truth is just get used to it. This is big law. It’s how it goes and how many associates live. You basically never really get away and the phone notification can literally come at any time.

Best thing to do is set aside time where you just don’t look at your phone or computer at all. Get away for a bit. Be comfortable with telling people no. Be comfortable with not responding to emails right away. Be comfortable not being a “top” associate. Who cares.

If you want to get out eventually, spend some time thinking about an end goal. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Browse potential jobs that would be exits. Maybe that’s weird but it has helped me keep this in perspective. This is temporary. So just grind and run out the clock.

Second above. That's the real game changer. And, in my limited experience, the only way forward without becoming a shell of an interesting human being.

[hdr]

Wish I could ease your mind but truth is just get used to it. This is big law. It’s how it goes and how many associates live. You basically never really get away and the phone notification can literally come at any time.

Best thing to do is set aside time where you just don’t look at your phone or computer at all. Get away for a bit. Be comfortable with telling people no. Be comfortable with not responding to emails right away. Be comfortable not being a “top” associate. Who cares.

If you want to get out eventually, spend some time thinking about an end goal. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Browse potential jobs that would be exits. Maybe that’s weird but it has helped me keep this in perspective. This is temporary. So just grind and run out the clock.

Second above. That's the real game changer. And, in my limited experience, the only way forward without becoming a shell of an interesting human being.

Also agree. To get there, don't become dependent on the salary. The job is much more tolerable when you're not worried about losing it.

[glitched]

Wish I could ease your mind but truth is just get used to it. This is big law. It’s how it goes and how many associates live. You basically never really get away and the phone notification can literally come at any time.

Best thing to do is set aside time where you just don’t look at your phone or computer at all. Get away for a bit. Be comfortable with telling people no. Be comfortable with not responding to emails right away. Be comfortable not being a “top” associate. Who cares.

If you want to get out eventually, spend some time thinking about an end goal. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Browse potential jobs that would be exits. Maybe that’s weird but it has helped me keep this in perspective. This is temporary. So just grind and run out the clock.

Second above. That's the real game changer. And, in my limited experience, the only way forward without becoming a shell of an interesting human being.

I'd say the advice above is good, but you should at least respond with "Will do." or something like that, and then you can forget about it until later. A fairly large majority of tasks do not require you to drop everything and start working, but it's good for the partner/senior to at least know it was seen and will be taken care of. Once the will do the out the door, which is really easy to do, you can kick back, don't think about it at all, and do the assignment on your own time, but still be in good standing.

[s1m4]

This feeling never goes away so work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move. Once you have your own clients, you can have more vision over deadlines and ability to push back.

[Lestersandy]

work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move.

lmao

[s1m4]

work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move.

lmao

?

[Lestersandy]

work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move.

lmao

?

Do not—and I cannot emphasize this enough—“work as hard as you can” in big law. You will kill yourself. Or at least ruin relationships and become a shell of your former self.

Much better to do the minimum, though I suggest maybe doing a bit more.

Doing work in big law does not generally “build up skills.” It is mostly dumb, boring, and mind numbing work that anyone with a college education could do.

[s1m4]

work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move.

lmao

?

Do not—and I cannot emphasize this enough—“work as hard as you can” in big law. You will kill yourself. Or at least ruin relationships and become a shell of your former self.

Much better to do the minimum, though I suggest maybe doing a bit more.

Doing work in big law does not generally “build up skills.” It is mostly dumb, boring, and mind numbing work that anyone with a college education could do.

My plan (which I am executing after working in biglaw four years) is partnering up with another lawyer to open a higher end boutique. There is no way I would have the skills to do this if I didn't work hard in biglaw. Choose the path that leads to what you want to do long-term, is my advice.

[Anonymous User]

Fellow new associate here (starting week 5 at a V10). Just want to say I feel 100% the same way. I only get evening emails about every other day, but I still hate that I can't focus on anything without an ear towards my phone.

[The Lsat Airbender]

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

[Sporty1911]

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

A+ comment. Kind of bummed the release got pushed to next year, but at least we’ll be able to see it in theaters this way.

[wanderinglawyer]

Getting used to the biglaw experience is just one of the things you have to learn when you first start. And there's a lot to learn because there's a lot you don't know. If you can embrace your first year as a learning opportunity rather than just a chance to screw up a lot, it might help with the anxiety. I don't expect first years to be perfect, I just want them to try to learn and get better (and not have egregious typos).

Also, it's worth putting in the work early to get a good reputation. At the very beginning, be responsive, do good work, let your supervisors know you got it. Building that trust now may give you more room to push things around later, because people will assume you are managing your work appropriately because that's your reputation.

[Anonymous User]

Maybe this is cynical, but I think the best skill you can learn in biglaw is how to avoid the partners that are truly nightmares to work for. These people exist everywhere even at the best of firms, and you have to avoid them like the plague, which means doing work that is just enough to annoy them, but not so bad that you'd get fired or piss off a client or anything (taking more time to respond to any emails from these people, ignoring them on weekends, not proofreading for every typo, etc.).

I'm still learning this skill, and it will certainly get brought up in your reviews, but if you're doing stellar work for the people you like, they'll brush it off and continue working with you (you just have to make sure you're working a little extra hard for those people).

I think avoiding working for the bad partners is the difference between becoming a midlevel with a portable skillset to go on to do other things, and getting burned out in year 2 and taking a contracts position with limited upward mobility.

[Anonymous User]

I'd say the advice above is good, but you should at least respond with "Will do." or something like that, and then you can forget about it until later. A fairly large majority of tasks do not require you to drop everything and start working, but it's good for the partner/senior to at least know it was seen and will be taken care of. Once the will do the out the door, which is really easy to do, you can kick back, don't think about it at all, and do the assignment on your own time, but still be in good standing.

Maybe when you are just starting out but build-up enough good will and this becomes less important. And when they ping you again faster than you expect, you start to understand what was actually important.

Turns out someone "just following up on the below" isn't the worst email in the world to receive.

[Anonymous User]

Following. Great advice so far. I'm in week 4 right now and constantly anxious. When I'm busy I'm anxious about screwing up and when I'm slow I'm anxious about whether I could be doing more to "add value." Trying to drill it into my head that it's ok to be a middling associate

[Anonymous User]

work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move.

lmao

Breathe deeply and recognize:

• 10% will make partner

• 10% will get fired for poor performance.

• You can be the 80%.

Pay off your debt.
Leave.

[parkslope]

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

EDIT: I was extremely excited to post this and saw someone else beat me to it.

[The Lsat Airbender]

EDIT: I was extremely excited to post this and saw someone else beat me to it.

I prefer the way you formatted it

[Anonymous User]

work as hard as you can for a few years to really build up skills so that you can move.

lmao

Breathe deeply and recognize:

• 10% will make partner

• 10% will get fired for poor performance.

• You can be the 80%.

Pay off your debt.
Leave.

Significantly more than 10% will get fired for "poor performance," as the bar for what that is goes up every year (at least at my firm). Involuntary attrition is way over 10% once you start adding up the people who get forced out after year 3, year 4, year 5, etc.

[ksm6969]

Put it in perspective -- if you are a doctor and make a mistake, someone can die. If you are an engineer and make a mistake, a bridge can fall down. Hell, even a truck driver making $45k a year is responsible for people's lives. In law, you aren't going to kill anyone. Almost everything is (fairly easily) fixable, and the things that aren't fixable are not things you will (or should) be doing as a new associate. If you make a careless typo, nothing bad happens except some miserable partner bitches a little bit (who cares); if you make a substantive mistake that actually matters, then its the firm's fault as much as yours for not training/checking you.

Just dont be afraid of miserable people bitching at you. Just get okay to sitting in an office and just saying "okay, got it" while not really listening.

[Lestersandy]

Just get okay to sitting in an office and just saying "okay, got it" while not really listening.

Probably the best advice itt

[Anonymous User]

Anti-anxiety meds can do wonders for relieving that ever-present feeling of dread that there's too much to do and not enough time.

Also, the anxiety goes down a bit as your competence and time management skills improve. Knowing that you can handle an assignment, and how long you need to budget in order to get it done, can make a huge difference.