I am convinced I failed the September bar exam and I don't know what to do with myself. Forum

[Anonymous User]

I took the September 9-10 UBE. I am convinced I failed and am spiraling into a horrific bout of anxiety and depression.

I was confident. I completed 96% of barbri. I was at 79% on adaptibar. I did very well on barbri’s simulated MBE. I had a great LSAT score and went to a very good law school.

The essays went well, but apparently everyone found them easy, so idk if I did above average or not. First MPT was okay but my second one was garbage because I was so time crunched. I had good organization and formatting, and I did a conclusion so it looked finished, but parts of my analysis were quite weak.
I thought I could rock the MBE. WRONG. I was only confident on maybe 60% of the questions, and some of those very well could have been experimental. So many questions I got down to two answers but just couldn’t remember the rule. And a few questions looked like they were from freaking Mars. I looked up a few questions (I know... I shouldn't have), and I got several wrong. So... yeah. I needed the MBE to save me after my MPT performance, and I do not think it did.

I’m just devastated. I have ADD and long, tedious tasks like studying for the bar for 10 weeks are just brutal for me. I was so, so miserable studying. I just can’t go through that again. I can’t. I'm also worried I will lose my job if I fail. I have a biglaw job lined up, but I was deferred until January. I assume I won't start until March if I have to retake in February. I'm not sure what I'll do financially if I can't work until March. It's also super obvious if I failed if I don't start with my class (as opposed to starting and finding out I failed later on..).

The bar exam has completely traumatized me. I was a fairly healthy and happy person before the bar exam. My anxiety and depression have gotten so bad that I am basically bed ridden at this point. I'm so convinced I failed and I'm paralyzed by the fear of failure. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. The way that I usually deal with my anxiety is to figure out the worst case scenario and make a plan to deal with it. The problem here is that the worst case scenario just seems beyond terrible. I'm terrified I wouldn't pass February, and I'm not sure what I'd do if I failed twice. I'm scared I'll lose my job. I am not sure I can handle another round of studying and waiting for results, and I can't afford to not work until March.

I'm meeting my doctor on Monday to get anti-depressants. I have an appointment with a therapist.

Does anyone have any stories about just feeling terrible about the exam as a whole and passing anyway? Or does anyone just have any advice generally?

[kaiser]

Yes, very common. I was certain I failed when I walked out. And I passed, as did everyone else I know aside from a friend for whom English is a second language (and he passed on the 2nd try). So your fear is likely unwarranted.

[mlnthrowaway]

Yes. A lot of people feel like this post-bar exam. I was angry, depressed, and not well. I considered calling my mentors at my firm (yikes! Glad I did not--don't do this) and telling them I had failed. I was so angry about the whole thing that I threw away my Barbri books (I was a rep, so could not return them for cash) and figured I'd buy new ones when I retook the test.

Turns out, I passed. What most helped me (thanks to therapist) was imagining worst case scenario and coming to terms with it. I was convinced I'd failed and kept checking my name (public list state) all day. But I knew that if I had to take it again, I would and that it would work out. It would delay many things and would be embarrassing and hurtful, but I would be fine and you will too. I had really smart and great friends who failed for various reasons (some personal, some day-of-test related) and all have passed since.

You will be fine either way. Don't let this profession take away your mental health. What is done is done, you cannot fix or change your exam now. Rest, take care of yourself, and move forward knowing that you can deal with what comes once it comes up.

[gregfootball2001]

The essays went well, but apparently everyone found them easy, so idk if I did above average or not.

This isn't law school. You don't need to rock the curve, just hit a certain number. Average means nothing. If you think the essays went well, they went well.

It's a pass/fail test. You just need to be above failing. In all likelihood, coming from a good school, you passed. Probably 90+% of your class passed. Further, if you're going into biglaw, you likely won't be fired for not passing. You'll be okay.

But whatever the outcome, nothing you do now will change what happens, so try and relax and enjoy the longest period of time off that you'll have for the rest of your life. Sounds like you may need some sort of goal - run a marathon, learn a language, go on a trip - something to keep your mind on the present. Whatever it is, give it a try, and try to enjoy where you are.

[Anonymous User]

doing very well on the barbri is a great indicator. I did 60% and 60% on the ncbe tests as well. I am worried. You are okay lol

[Anonymous User]

If you are confident that you got 60% of them right, you will pass with a very high score.

[burritotaco]

OP, you're going to be fine.

The best predictor of bar passage--and it's a really, really accurate predictor--is your school + class rank. If you went to a decent school and did decently, you probably have a 90%+ chance of passing. The overwhelming majority of people who don't pass either went to a bad law school and/or did poorly.

[notinbiglaw]

If you were confident on 60% of the questions, even if you randomly guessed the rest, you’re looking at 70% right and that’s passing.

The average essay is worse than you imagine. Repeat takers and foreign trained lawyers abound to bring the average down.

[Whatislaw]

Not sure what state you're in, but I took CA and I put in far less work than you did and still passed. The best advice I got was to pack all your books away and out of sight. Then DO NOT talk to folks who want to rehash the call of the question on the Bar exam. No one knows if they got the answers right so it's an useless exercise that purely generates stress. Stay busy with fun activities, talk to non-law school friends, and again, DO NOT second guess yourself. Three reasons: (1) You likely passed given the significant amount of work you put in, (2) logically its useless to worry about it now, and (3) it's just an exam. (Yes I know everyone makes a big deal out of the Bar exam, but at the end of the day it is just an exam.)

[YourCaptain]

You likely passed. The only people I know who failed were actually rounding out the bottom of my LS class. I took the exam, panicked for 2 months that I failed (like every day, checked various forums, worried it over, etc.) and then passed.

The answer is that you're deferred and there is legitimately nothing that you can do about your bar experience, so go work out, enjoy your hobbies, take a side job, whatever, do something other than post on TLS about how you're concerned about how you did.

Likelihood is that you will pass, never check this thread again and a year from now someone else who thinks they failed is going to bump this thread asking you what happened and you won't respond because you'll be a first year associate wondering why you're spending your weekend sorting through 400 pages of signature pages for some merger.

[nixy]

OP, tons of people feel this way and pass. You're going to be fine. The bar exam really messes with people's head - for instance, I'm not someone who's ever really had test anxiety (not saying I aced every test, but they never got into my head). But I spent almost all of my bar summer isolating and not going out with friends or the like, not because I thought I'd fail if I took a Friday night off to hang out, but because I couldn't get the bar exam out of my head or stop obsessing about it, and I knew I'd be terrible company and not enjoy anything. I also didn't go on a bar trip right after, because I didn't want to spend the money and it seemed a weird reason to go on a trip that I wouldn't be taking otherwise. After the fact I REALLY regretted that, because then I was done with the bar exam and had nothing to do and couldn't quite grasp that it was over (whereas if I'd gone somewhere completely different I think I'd have been able to let go of it much more easily). (Obviously bar trips aren't really a thing this year, just saying that it's normal to find it really hard to let go of the exam, mentally.)

Which is just to say that your brain is fucking with you, and its conviction that you failed can't be trusted. Our brains lie to us all the time.

FWIW, everyone, every year, ALWAYS says that the MBE was much harder than they thought. Your perception of that can't be trusted either.

And as for the MPT, one mediocre MPT isn't going to blow your chances. It's 10% of the whole, and you're not going to get 0 on it if you a had a conclusion and enough other material to organize/format. And as someone already pointed out, it's not a curved test. You just need to do the bare minimum. You've definitely done that.

But in any case, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it now. Worrying about it won't change anything. It's good that you're getting professional help, but 1) it's normal to be anxious about it and 2) you're almost certain to have passed. (Though to butt in for a moment, I'm not sure I'd go the anti-depressant route just for the post-bar exam anxiety. If this is something that's been an issue for you in other circumstances and this has just been a particularly bad trigger, that's one thing, but just for the bar exam seems a different situation and I'd wait to talk to the therapist first before going the meds route. Though of course I am not a doctor so obviously listen to the medical professionals over me.)

Also, this was perfect:

Likelihood is that you will pass, never check this thread again and a year from now someone else who thinks they failed is going to bump this thread asking you what happened and you won't respond because you'll be a first year associate wondering why you're spending your weekend sorting through 400 pages of signature pages for some merger.

[philepistemer]

When I took the bar exam, I was confident I had passed, and it turned out I did.

[datenginedatcould]

I'm going to post a slightly different perspective because...life happens. When I took the CA bar exam, I thought I had failed. I did. I work in a prestigious job and most of the people I know had passed the first time. I had great grades at a T10 law school, not mediocre - great. Yet, I failed. Life happens. I worked my ass off the second time and passed, despite having so many cards stacked against me. Even if you fail and even if you have to study again WHILE working, you can beat this test. The second time around, I learned how to beat the test. I was so disillusioned by how shitty the test was because I learned how to excel without actually becoming a better writer, etc. Now, I see no difference in the quality of work I get at my job, despite being one of the few who did not pass the first time. Shit, I'm working with some of the most respected attorneys at my job and getting great experience compared to others who did pass their first try. With that being said, I know that if you do have the misfortune of not passing, people will tell you, "This test does not define you." If that tragedy happens, please believe someone who was in the same place as you to say, "This test does NOT define you." No matter what the result is, you will find success. It's just a matter of when.

[Anonymous User]

I'm going to post a slightly different perspective because...life happens. When I took the CA bar exam, I thought I had failed. I did. I work in a prestigious job and most of the people I know had passed the first time. I had great grades at a T10 law school, not mediocre - great. Yet, I failed. Life happens. I worked my ass off the second time and passed, despite having so many cards stacked against me. Even if you fail and even if you have to study again WHILE working, you can beat this test. The second time around, I learned how to beat the test. I was so disillusioned by how shitty the test was because I learned how to excel without actually becoming a better writer, etc. Now, I see no difference in the quality of work I get at my job, despite being one of the few who did not pass the first time. Shit, I'm working with some of the most respected attorneys at my job and getting great experience compared to others who did pass their first try. With that being said, I know that if you do have the misfortune of not passing, people will tell you, "This test does not define you." If that tragedy happens, please believe someone who was in the same place as you to say, "This test does NOT define you." No matter what the result is, you will find success. It's just a matter of when.

Thank you for sharing. What did you do right the second time and wrong the first time?

[nixy]

I'm going to post a slightly different perspective because...life happens. When I took the CA bar exam, I thought I had failed. I did. I work in a prestigious job and most of the people I know had passed the first time. I had great grades at a T10 law school, not mediocre - great. Yet, I failed. Life happens. I worked my ass off the second time and passed, despite having so many cards stacked against me. Even if you fail and even if you have to study again WHILE working, you can beat this test. The second time around, I learned how to beat the test. I was so disillusioned by how shitty the test was because I learned how to excel without actually becoming a better writer, etc. Now, I see no difference in the quality of work I get at my job, despite being one of the few who did not pass the first time. Shit, I'm working with some of the most respected attorneys at my job and getting great experience compared to others who did pass their first try. With that being said, I know that if you do have the misfortune of not passing, people will tell you, "This test does not define you." If that tragedy happens, please believe someone who was in the same place as you to say, "This test does NOT define you." No matter what the result is, you will find success. It's just a matter of when.

Yeah, this is a really important perspective as well, and is true. The test is a flawed measure of your performance in a narrow format on one day of your life. There are smart and successful people who fail it and it doesn’t reflect on you as a person or determine your future in any way.

(I still think it’s much more likely than not that you passed, based on everything you’ve written. But if you haven’t, it is not at all a catastrophe of a condemnation of you as a person. It’s a PITA but you will be fine.)

[Mr. Kister]

A friend of mine skipped an entire essay question and only answered half of another and still ended up passing by two points. One just never knows.

[malibustacy]

If you get the median score on the MBE, you can get bottom 10% scores on the essays and pass. It truly is a test of minimum competency. You definitely passed.

[Anonymous User]

A lot of people, including myself, who thought they failed the bar, passed. In hindsight, I was overreacting because I had scored 80% on all practice MBEs. I don't know what I actually scored because I took the CA bar, but I passed. If you were passing in practice, there is no reason to think you did not pass on exam day.

Also failing once is not the end of the world. An employer will usually give you two chances to pass, and if you have a good relationship with a partner, sometimes three. Put it out of your mind. The week when results come out, you may be anxious, but there's nothing you can do at this point so just try and relax and keep busy!

[Anonymous User]

If you got even half of the 40% you were not confident on, you will pass. Also on the UBE, you just need a high enough combined score. You could technically not complete one day of the exam and still pass as long as you score high enough on one portion. I wouldn't stress at this point.

[JWalker]

Been there, done that (and passed after essentially wasting three months of my life worrying about the results).

In my opinion, that impending sense of doom arises from the fact that most of us have simply no idea what getting 65-70% of an exam correct feels like. We've all done well enough in school up to that point that we're used to the feeling of walking out with a likely A or a B+, especially with respect to multiple choice exams, but we're absolutely clueless on just how low the bar for a C+ is, which is essentially what you need to get to pass the bar exam. That's why I think tons of people walk out of the MBE convinced that they failed. So that being the case, don't sweat it, OP. As long as you diligently completed bar prep and didn't panic and blackout during the MBE, you should have passed.

[forthelols]

I know many who felt exactly the same way as you, and all of them passed. If you went to a good law school and didn't finish at the bottom of your class, in all likelihood you passed regardless of how you feel.

Keep this graphic in mind: https://i.imgur.com/2qMuKgV.png. Any combination of percentiles on both parts of the exam (i.e., the curve) represents a passing score (on the NY Bar I believe -- one of the hardest to pass). So if of the thousands and thousands of bar takers you were just AVERAGE on one of the sections, you can still do worse than 80% of the other test takers on the other section and still pass. If you were above average at all in either section (say 60th percentile), you're virtually guaranteed to pass. You'll be fine.

[nealric]

It's quite common for applicants to walk out of the bar exam thinking that they had failed and end up passing. A big part of the reason is most folks who've made it all the way through law school are used to getting questions on an exam mostly right and to always be familiar with the subject matter on the exam. On standardized tests like the SAT and LSAT, you were probably used to getting 90%+ of the answers correct.

In contrast to most exams, the bar exam is designed to throw you curve balls and is designed so very few people will be able to confidently answer every question. You can get a LOT of wrong answers and still pass.

In considering whether you actually failed, I'd look at your specific risk factors.

1) Did you do reasonably decently on the LSAT (155+?)
2) Did you attend a law school ranked in the top 100 (ish)?
3) Did you get reasonably good grades in law school (3.0+)?
4) Did you make a good faith effort to study hard with professionally created materials?

If the answer to all these questions is "yes", then your chances of failure are quite low. If the answer is "no" to any of them, that still doesn't mean you failed, but it's a stronger possibility. If you did fail, it's not the end of the world, though it's of course a huge blow in the short term. If you get a failing result, the next step is to figure out what you did wrong and fix it. But there's nothing you can do between now and when results come out, so try not to dwell.