2019 - Bonus Speculation Thread Forum

[LaLiLuLeLo]

Ugh how am I supposed to feed my family

This comment wins.

I used to be in govt and I have become somewhat disgusted by the “issues” (with heavy quotes) raised during my periodic biglaw associate meetings.

I think he/she might have been joking.

Latrell Sprewell was a prophet

[TigerIsBack]

Ugh how am I supposed to feed my family

This comment wins.

I used to be in govt and I have become somewhat disgusted by the “issues” (with heavy quotes) raised during my periodic biglaw associate meetings.

I think he/she might have been joking.

I don't think so, I'm pretty sure they meant that biglaw associates complain about things like not having LaCroix or some certain type of espresso in the cafe, and that "issue" is disgusting to someone coming from a government background.

But I agree that just because biglaw associates make a lot of money, they still can complain about their jobs and try to make the work place better. If associates never complained or spoke up about "issues", we wouldn't have remote/flexible work programs and part-time programs, women would have (more) issues with the glass ceiling, and we couldn't wear jeans on Fridays. So, associate complaining has probably brought us a few pretty good things (some way bigger than others in my example) that make this job much more tolerable.

Edit: Sorry, just realized you meant that the poster unable to feed their family was joking.

[QContinuum]

I don't think so, I'm pretty sure they meant that biglaw associates complain about things like not having LaCroix or some certain type of espresso in the cafe, and that "issue" is disgusting to someone coming from a government background.

FWIW, I know a ton of BigLaw associates and never have I ever heard any serious complaints - at any firm - along those lines. Firm cafeterias/pantries/gyms are generally nothing to write home about but I don't think these things are particularly high on any associate's radar screen. Associates who aren't picky about coffee make do with whatever's offered in the cafeteria/pantry; associates who are picky would never be satisfied with office coffee anyway, unless maybe at that one firm on ATL that hired an actual barista. Same goes for gyms.

[LaLiLuLeLo]

Milbank is both a comp leader and a barista in the office leader

[rahulg91]

Government attorneys need to STFU and GTFO of this thread. Go whine about pensions or whatever someplace else you miserable fucks.

STB will bone-us properly.

[NoLongerALurker]

Milbank is both a comp leader and a barista in the office leader

Tautology alert.

[TigerIsBack]

I don't think so, I'm pretty sure they meant that biglaw associates complain about things like not having LaCroix or some certain type of espresso in the cafe, and that "issue" is disgusting to someone coming from a government background.

FWIW, I know a ton of BigLaw associates and never have I ever heard any serious complaints - at any firm - along those lines. Firm cafeterias/pantries/gyms are generally nothing to write home about but I don't think these things are particularly high on any associate's radar screen. Associates who aren't picky about coffee make do with whatever's offered in the cafeteria/pantry; associates who are picky would never be satisfied with office coffee anyway, unless maybe at that one firm on ATL that hired an actual barista. Same goes for gyms.

I've heard "complaints" about the snack/drink offerings plenty. It's not in a tone of "ugh this job is the worst, I can't believe they can't even give us sparkling water," but more in the tone of "well we're at this associate committee meeting and have to talk about something...so how hard do you guys think it would be to change the snack offerings to have a couple of other healthy options in the cafe?"

[LaLiLuLeLo]

The complaints are very real because if you give a mouse a cookie...

“Ugh why don’t we have sparkling water”

Becomes

“Ugh why don’t we have pamplemousse”

[rahulg91]

The complaints are very real because if you give a mouse a cookie...

“Ugh why don’t we have sparkling water”

Becomes

“Ugh why don’t we have pamplemousse”

Pamplemousse is the only acceptable flavor of sparkling water.

[Anonymous User]

The complaints are very real because if you give a mouse a cookie...

“Ugh why don’t we have sparkling water”

Becomes

“Ugh why don’t we have pamplemousse”

Not to get too off topic. We have free soda in all vending machines on all floors at my V5 (non-NYC office), but only the cafe vending machines have La Croix. Someone asked the office managing partner during an all attorney meeting whether it would possible if all the vending machines on all floors can be stocked with La Croix.

[Anonymous User]

DPW just matched.

[dabigchina]

I dont like the anti-lacroix tenor this thread has taken.

In either case, looks like we r done here, ladies and gentlemen.

[ajr]

The complaints are very real because if you give a mouse a cookie...

“Ugh why don’t we have sparkling water”

Becomes

“Ugh why don’t we have pamplemousse”

Pamplemousse is the only acceptable flavor of sparkling water.

this is credited

[MurdockLLP2]

I dont like the anti-lacroix tenor this thread has taken.

In either case, looks like we r done here, ladies and gentlemen.

Gotta keep the hope alive for STB or LW to save the day (or at least for Cahill to give out special bonuses).

[Anonymous User]

Skadden match.

[BlackAndOrange84]

I dont like the anti-lacroix tenor this thread has taken.

In either case, looks like we r done here, ladies and gentlemen.

Gotta keep the hope alive for STB or LW to save the day (or at least for Cahill to give out special bonuses).

Eh, Cahill frequently beats on bonuses, I don't think the rest of the market cares, any more than they do about Kirkland beating on the regular. At this point only STB or LW can save us.

[LaLiLuLeLo]

You know we’re desperate if we’re hoping Latham will raise

[dabigchina]

You know we’re desperate if we’re hoping Latham will raise

even if they do, nobody will match. they are kind of like kirkland in that they have discretionary above market bonuses for high billers. it'd be like when Kirkland used to announce MARKET SHATTERING BONUSES.

[LaLiLuLeLo]

I reminded my wife she needed to buy some calabacitas to smash up and put into our guac now that we have to tighten our belts in light of the bonus announcements.

[Tenzen]

Word on the streets is that Latham, instead of Lathaming its associates, will Latham the Milbank raise to make up for its past. Latham to 25K-150K bonuses.

Can you give any more background to this "word on the street"? I highly doubt we see a bump this year, but man do I hope we do.

Sure. So basically what will happen is Cravath will announce after Milbank, same numbers. Then Paul Weiss and other firms. And just when no one expects it, on November 15 at 8PM EST Latham announces 25K-150K scale.

[whats an updog]

[rahulg91]

I dont like the anti-lacroix tenor this thread has taken.

In either case, looks like we r done here, ladies and gentlemen.

Gotta keep the hope alive for STB or LW to save the day (or at least for Cahill to give out special bonuses).

Eh, Cahill frequently beats on bonuses, I don't think the rest of the market cares, any more than they do about Kirkland beating on the regular. At this point only STB or LW can save us.

Does Cahill actually give out above-market bonuses? Any associates care to weigh in? It looks like they have "extra special bonuses" from last year's ATL piece (https://abovethelaw.com/2018/12/biglaw- ... bonuses/2/) but hope to get some color on if it is common to receive these?

[Anonymous User]

I dont like the anti-lacroix tenor this thread has taken.

In either case, looks like we r done here, ladies and gentlemen.

Gotta keep the hope alive for STB or LW to save the day (or at least for Cahill to give out special bonuses).

Eh, Cahill frequently beats on bonuses, I don't think the rest of the market cares, any more than they do about Kirkland beating on the regular. At this point only STB or LW can save us.

Does Cahill actually give out above-market bonuses? Any associates care to weigh in? It looks like they have "extra special bonuses" from last year's ATL piece (https://abovethelaw.com/2018/12/biglaw- ... bonuses/2/) but hope to get some color on if it is common to receive these?

Historically has been above market bonus at year end. I.e. 2nd years would get $35k instead of $25k, 3rd years would get $70k instead of $50k, etc. Last year they had that plus the special summer bonus that was market. Not too optimistic this year since no summer bonus (Cahill's often given summer bonus even when it wasn't market).

[BlackAndOrange84]

I reminded my wife she needed to buy some calabacitas to smash up and put into our guac now that we have to tighten our belts in light of the bonus announcements.

Dark times—gotta cut that avocado toast budget. Brunch strictly curtailed!