Is it worrisome that I'm not enjoying my SA so far? Forum

[Anonymous User]

Hi all.
I'm an SA at a V50/Amlaw 100 in a major market in the home office of my firm. This is week 2 and so far I feel like I am really struggling. I know it is early, but all I ever hear from people is that they love their SA, that it was the best time of their life, etc. Is it normal to feel overwhelmed, out-of-place, in over your head, and lonely the first couple of weeks? Or are these feelings more a reflection on me or my place in the firm?

There hasn't been anything catastrophically bad yet (haven't vomited on a partner, turned in work late, etc.) but I am finding myself feeling highly stressed about every interaction I have with associates/partners. I worked before law school so being in an office isn't the issue. I am thinking maybe I am just homesick and feeling lonely because I am apart from my spouse, but I seem to suddenly crash emotionally the minute I get home for the evening.

Any thoughts? Did anyone else experience a first week or two of their SA - or should I be actively seeking out ways to modify my routine/interactions at work/etc. to salvage the summer?

[Anonymous User]

If my SA was the best time of my life I'd probably have to end it all on the spot. You're around a bunch of brainpoisoned biglawyers, but with food and some cocktails. Why's that supposed to be anything more than a 5/10?

But try to relax some more - it legit doesn't matter.

[Anonymous User]

I guess I was more worrying about whether I picked the wrong firm, whether big law was a bad choice, or whether law generally wasn't the right move.

I don't really know what to express, other than that it's been a rough few days and I'm really questioning all of my choices

[papermateflair]

When I was a summer associate I was always stressed - worried if I was getting to work at a normal time (not too early, not too late), if I was staying late enough, if people liked me, if I was doing good work, if everyone remembered the awkward interaction last Thursday, etc. etc. etc. It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed. Just try and be pleasant in your interactions and do decent work. Smile at the social functions, even if you're missing home. Fill your time outside of work with the things that make you happy - talking to your spouse, your hobbies, etc. Take it one week at a time, the summer will be over before you know it. Being a summer associate isn't that great - it's (arguably) better than being an associate because you're essentially only expected to "work" 9-6, with lunches and other mandatory "fun" events that don't count against your billable requirements like when you're an associate, but it's not like, the best time of your life. And remember - partners and associates aren't going to remember you unless you're like, outstandingly terrible. There are summer associates two doors down from me and I honestly can't remember their names - partners and associates are busy, and I promise they're not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are. You'll be fine, everything will be ok.

And just because you don't like being a summer doesn't mean you aren't going to like being an associate - I think being an associate is less stressful, in a way, because you fall into a routine, you learn what the partners expect from you, and you start growing in your area of expertise. As a summer you're drinking from a firehose - trying to learn who everyone is, what they want, what areas you're interested in, how to work (if you're K-JD, this may be your first legit job). It's a lot to handle all at once, but it'll get better.

[champloo]

Hi all.
I'm an SA at a V50/Amlaw 100 in a major market in the home office of my firm. This is week 2 and so far I feel like I am really struggling. I know it is early, but all I ever hear from people is that they love their SA, that it was the best time of their life, etc. Is it normal to feel overwhelmed, out-of-place, in over your head, and lonely the first couple of weeks? Or are these feelings more a reflection on me or my place in the firm?

There hasn't been anything catastrophically bad yet (haven't vomited on a partner, turned in work late, etc.) but I am finding myself feeling highly stressed about every interaction I have with associates/partners. I worked before law school so being in an office isn't the issue. I am thinking maybe I am just homesick and feeling lonely because I am apart from my spouse, but I seem to suddenly crash emotionally the minute I get home for the evening.

Any thoughts? Did anyone else experience a first week or two of their SA - or should I be actively seeking out ways to modify my routine/interactions at work/etc. to salvage the summer?

Being an SA is stressful for all the reasons you stated. Being friends with people in your class helps though. People usually don't realize that being an SA is the best job ever until after they start working for real.

[oblig.lawl.ref]

Ya friend, not at all. Lots of people that truly excel at being a SA (schmoozing, befriending partners, acting the part, gunning for SA assignments, being popular with a bunch of strangers, etc.) are not good associates. It's a very different game once you're a first year. The things that make you a good associate have nothing to do with the things that make you a good SA.

I felt out of place all the time. I felt out of place as a first year. I didn't understand the culture. But at a certain point your work will speak for itself and the rest often falls into place after.

I would recommend relaxing and caring less. Focus on getting some assignments and doing good work on them. Try to meet some people. But most of all take some of the stress off of yourself.

[Anonymous User]

OP Here. Thanks all.
I will keep chugging along. I will update in a week or two if things still seem bleak.