Going Away Party Forum
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Going Away Party
Had a group breakfast where it was announced that An associate is leaving the firm to go in house. Partner demanded to know who was planning her going away party, then turned to the rest of us and said “Just so you know, if you leave and are not going to a potential client we are not having a party for you.”
I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?
I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?
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Re: Going Away Party
Associatingit wrote:Had a group breakfast where it was announced that An associate is leaving the firm to go in house. Partner demanded to know who was planning her going away party, then turned to the rest of us and said “Just so you know, if you leave and are not going to a potential client we are not having a party for you.”
I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?
It’s called stashing money in your FU Fund....Lol. Just keep smiling as you collect your paycheck every two weeks.
Last edited by QContinuum on Fri Apr 05, 2019 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Outed for anon abuse.
Reason: Outed for anon abuse.
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Re: Going Away Party
I don't see the connection between the party and exploitation. Literally the only reason they are celebrating the departure is because the departing associate will be a client and the partners will want to ingratiate themselves. They'd never have a going away party if the associate were leaving for a firm. The paychecks certainly make the inhumanity of it all more bearable.
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Re: Going Away Party
Morale in our group is terrible right now. Recently, in a conversation about improving group morale, we were told that the group already does things to improve morale, like having going away parties for associates. That was a stunningly tone dead comment.
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Re: Going Away Party
Agree with the above. I don't think there's any issue with the firm wanting to go the extra mile for an associate going to a client vs. an associate going anywhere else. Why would a firm want to spend money throwing a party for a departing associate who's going to the competition?ClubberLang wrote:I don't see the connection between the party and exploitation. Literally the only reason they are celebrating the departure is because the departing associate will be a client and the partners will want to ingratiate themselves. They'd never have a going away party if the associate were leaving for a firm. The paychecks certainly make the inhumanity of it all more bearable.
Firms generally treat departing partners the same way, so it's not really a matter of associate exploitation. A partner going to a client or retiring gets a party, a partner lateraling to the competition doesn't.
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Re: Going Away Party
We throw going-away events for associates going to other firms. It's short-sighted not to. Even if he or she is not a client, a former associate can still be a good referral source--but not if they leave the firm thinking that the partners were assholes.ClubberLang wrote:I don't see the connection between the party and exploitation. Literally the only reason they are celebrating the departure is because the departing associate will be a client and the partners will want to ingratiate themselves. They'd never have a going away party if the associate were leaving for a firm. The paychecks certainly make the inhumanity of it all more bearable.
The comparison to departing partners is not on point - partner movement typically occurs much more quickly and is much more fraught (since the partner will often take the firm's work with him/her).
Last edited by Person1111 on Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Going Away Party
Unless your other examples are way less silly and much more egregious, I think you need to just cash your check and stop sweating the small stuff. We all knew what we signed up for, and they pay us handsomely for it.Associatingit wrote:Had a group breakfast where it was announced that An associate is leaving the firm to go in house. Partner demanded to know who was planning her going away party, then turned to the rest of us and said “Just so you know, if you leave and are not going to a potential client we are not having a party for you.”
I know this example is sorta silly, but how do people put up with the constant dehumanizing and straight exploitation these firms are putting us through? They literally have no regard for us as functioning human beings trying to live a life. Most other associates in my group seem to not be as bothered by it as I am, but their constant fear crouch whenever a partner is in the room is so pathetic. Like is everyone just putting in their time, does anyone have strategies for just getting through the day to day?
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Re: Going Away Party
That's great reasoning and I absolutely agree with it. I was just pointing out that, IMO, it's not unreasonable for firms to distinguish between the two scenarios (and as seen ITT, firms do actually draw that distinction in practice).hlsperson1111 wrote:We throw going-away events for associates going to other firms. It's short-sighted not to. Even if he or she is not a client, a former associate can still be a good referral source--but not if they leave the firm thinking that the partners were assholes.
I agree partner departures raise additional/different issues, but I think it was on point to mention partner departures because the thread was talking about how "dehumanizing" it was for firms to not throw parties for departing associates. My point is that partners aren't treated any better, at least on this front.hlsperson1111 wrote:The comparison to departing partners is not on point - partner movement typically occurs much more quickly and is much more fraught (since the partner will often take the firm's work with him/her).
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Re: Going Away Party
it was most likely tongue in cheek (hopefully). but yes, even as a first year, I can recognize that people who go to potential clients are treated better than people who go to current clients, who are treated better than people who go to another firm.
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Re: Going Away Party
I’ve heard a lot of anecdotes that serve as evidence that biglaw partners can be assholes and that biglaw can really suck. Honestly, though, this just isn’t one of them.
If it was a mediocre joke, okay. Fine, whatever. If he was serious, I can see how it makes sense but there are obviously arguments against this practice (parties for going away to potential clients but not for other destinations).
Either way I just really don’t think you should let this upset you TBH. If this is the worst you witness, you’re in a good shop IMO.
If it was a mediocre joke, okay. Fine, whatever. If he was serious, I can see how it makes sense but there are obviously arguments against this practice (parties for going away to potential clients but not for other destinations).
Either way I just really don’t think you should let this upset you TBH. If this is the worst you witness, you’re in a good shop IMO.
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Re: Going Away Party
I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.
That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.
That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.
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Re: Going Away Party
Serious question: How'd you manage to rent a DTLA rooftop and have a "blowout" for $500 (okay, you went over, but I assume still within ~$600-700)? I thought those things were expensive!Anonymous User wrote:I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.
That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.
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Re: Going Away Party
it sounds more like he bought his college buddies a bunch of drinks.QContinuum wrote:Serious question: How'd you manage to rent a DTLA rooftop and have a "blowout" for $500 (okay, you went over, but I assume still within ~$600-700)? I thought those things were expensive!Anonymous User wrote:I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.
That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.
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Re: Going Away Party
1. Go to the Standard (or Pearch)
2. sit down
3. Order $500 worth of drinks
2. sit down
3. Order $500 worth of drinks
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Re: Going Away Party
Yeah I don't think he said he "rented" out the rooftop, just went to a rooftop.QContinuum wrote:Serious question: How'd you manage to rent a DTLA rooftop and have a "blowout" for $500 (okay, you went over, but I assume still within ~$600-700)? I thought those things were expensive!Anonymous User wrote:I was given a budget of $500 to throw a party/event when I left my former firm (a biglaw litigation firm in Los Angeles). No one planned it, so I had a blowout for some college friends at a hotel rooftop in DTLA, with no one from the firm in attendance. They still reimbursed it, every cent (I actually went above budget and shamelessly submitted it anyway). That was my FU, takin ‘er easy for all them sinners.
That partner sounds like a dick. Plenty of my friends who lateraled had going away parties.
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Re: Going Away Party
I’m the guy whose post is being overanalyzed
Yes I didn’t rent out Standard/Perch/ect. out (obviously), just ran up a big tab (at one of those or a similar place), mostly tequila.
Yes I didn’t rent out Standard/Perch/ect. out (obviously), just ran up a big tab (at one of those or a similar place), mostly tequila.
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Re: Going Away Party
OP, you're right to resent what the partner said. It's one thing to treat associates who are leaving for clients better than other departing associates; it's quite another to tell associates they're less valuable if they don't go to clients. The latter is insulting and belittling in the typical biglaw partner fashion. Those saying it doesn't matter are the associates whose bootlicking has become so reflexive and ingrained they can't bring themselves to start at the whip anymore. (These, of course, are the same associates who eventually make partner, and who therefore expect of their own associates the same kind of total evacuation of self, the worst of whom actually accomplish this, and therefore don't see the harm in doing it to *their* associates, ad nauseam.)
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