Wife Due in February 2019/informing Firm Forum

[filibuster]

I’m a second year associate practicing at a V30 Big law firm in NYC and my wife is due in February. My firm has a generous parental leave policy and I plan on taking some time off. Other BigLaw fathers and/or fathers to be, when did you inform the firm or partner(s) you worked for that you were expecting a baby? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous User]

Did not personally have a kid, but my close friend was in your position. He was very open about his wife having a kid. He didn’t set a finite date for his leave, and mentioned that he would be taking time off around the due date. He also told them he would not do it during the middle of a big deal.

The firm has a very generous policy, but, even still, he ended up only taking 4 weeks.

[barkschool]

Friends have gone through it at my firm. Let them know as soon as possible.

You want to make sure the firm knows how to prorate your hours and a general delivery date. Otherwise take the full leave!

[ruski]

i dropped it in casual conversation months before. I think it's weird to give like one month notice to people who you work with and have some type of relationship, like hey sorry did I forget to mention my wife has been pregnant for the past 8 months. u almost come off as hiding it. there is nothing to hide. you don't need the firm's permission to have a kid.

taking time off is another story. at multiple firms I've been at I've received pressure not to take the full allotted amount, and a decent amount of the time off was spend on my laptop. with that said, people are usually forgiving on day of delivery and shortly thereafter, but not everyone will be happy you decide to disappear for 4 weeks.

partners will stop by and ask you before birth "hey did you decide how much time you decided to take off?" I've always wanted to respond with "wtf kind of question is that. the firm gives me X weeks and I plan to take all of it. Do you come into my office at the end of each month asking how much of my paycheck I decided to take home?" its not fair but you will receive pressure (either subtly like the above question, or more directly) not to take too much time. and btw I've seen plenty of male associates not cave and take the full time, so if you need it, use it.

[Anonymous User]

Definitely touch base with HR on process and give folks in your group a heads up as early as possible (especially managing partner of a small group or a staffing partner). You need to make your own decision on how much time to take. Every firm is different, but in my experience at two V-10 firms male associates were encouraged to take the entire amount of leave available so that female associates feel comfortable doing the same. You should talk to other associates in your office to gauge what is acceptable in your specific circumstance. That said, if you are good enough and in position to make partner a paternity leave is highly unlikely to get in the way. If you are not you will not get fired for it and will leave eventually anyways, so no reason not to take advantage of time with your wife and new baby.