Firm Mentor Matching Forum

[Anonymous User]

I'm a member of X minority group, and last summer it was noticeably apparent that my firm matched summers with junior and senior associate mentors based on race/ethnic backgrounds (i.e. all the African American summers were matched with African American associates, all of the Hispanic summers with Hispanic associates, etc..)

I can understand the firm's intentions, but I don't appreciate this at all. Hear me out.. in my experience, it's much easier for relationships to form organically with someone from a similar ethnic background than it is to do so with people from different ethnic backgrounds. My assigned mentors could have just as easily been associates I befriended outside of the firm's mentorship system. People usually gravitate towards people who look like themselves.

I would much rather be formally assigned to a mentor from a different ethnic background--i.e. someone I would otherwise not have a chance to connect with as easily. I'm thinking of calling HR, but I'm not sure how to go about making such a request? Would this be too much to ask for as an incoming first year? What's the best way to go about asking?

[BeeTeeZ]

You should think of a reason outside of race. So you and your mentor are X race, and let's say your desired mentor is Y race. Instead of saying you want Y instead of X, say you would like a mentor from W region, T school, or with Z interests. Find Y's that are also W, T, or Z"s, and then provide HR with that (short) list along with your request. That way, you didn't switch mentors because you wanted a different race, you just wanted someone who also grew up in Florida, for example. You would achieve your desired outcome without any (awkward) discussion of race.

[Anonymous User]

A few things.

1. Don't expect anything from your mentor. If your mentor is a third/fourth year associate, they will lose their jobs when new associates like you take their work. They are aware of this. If your mentor is a partner, they have better things to do with their time.

2. Do call human resources about anything negative, ever.

3. Stop trying to optimize your situation. It signals that you're calculatingly ambitious, which is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a servant.

4. If you're trying to ingratiate yourself with the white mentors because you see that white people have all the power and opportunity at your firm, it doesn't work that way. Your mentor isn't going to give you white privilege.

[Anonymous User]

A few things.

1. Don't expect anything from your mentor. If your mentor is a third/fourth year associate, they will lose their jobs when new associates like you take their work. They are aware of this. If your mentor is a partner, they have better things to do with their time.

2. Do call human resources about anything negative, ever.

3. Stop trying to optimize your situation. It signals that you're calculatingly ambitious, which is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a servant.

4. If you're trying to ingratiate yourself with the white mentors because you see that white people have all the power and opportunity at your firm, it doesn't work that way. Your mentor isn't going to give you white privilege.

This is all insane. Just disregard all of this.

In addition to the first non-insane anon’s advice, some firms even allow you to request particular associate mentors you’ve hit it off with or want to get to know. If during an interview you hit it off with someone, just ask for that person. Or if there is someone who has experiences you value (on a pro bono matter or working for a kind of industry), just ask for them by name. Maybe they’ll be available, maybe not, but no one is going to look at you negatively for advocating for yourself when you have a good reason to want to be mentored by a particular associate (who happens to be white)

[Anonymous User]

A few things.

1. Don't expect anything from your mentor. If your mentor is a third/fourth year associate, they will lose their jobs when new associates like you take their work. They are aware of this. If your mentor is a partner, they have better things to do with their time.

2. Do call human resources about anything negative, ever.

3. Stop trying to optimize your situation. It signals that you're calculatingly ambitious, which is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a servant.

4. If you're trying to ingratiate yourself with the white mentors because you see that white people have all the power and opportunity at your firm, it doesn't work that way. Your mentor isn't going to give you white privilege.

This is all insane. Just disregard all of this.

In addition to the first non-insane anon’s advice, some firms even allow you to request particular associate mentors you’ve hit it off with or want to get to know. If during an interview you hit it off with someone, just ask for that person. Or if there is someone who has experiences you value (on a pro bono matter or working for a kind of industry), just ask for them by name. Maybe they’ll be available, maybe not, but no one is going to look at you negatively for advocating for yourself when you have a good reason to want to be mentored by a particular associate (who happens to be white)

*Facepalm.* Whatever, I tried. Some people just insist on living in bizarro land. I'm guessing the word "insane" is in your thoughts often.

[nixy]

3. Stop trying to optimize your situation. It signals that you're calculatingly ambitious, which is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a servant.

*Facepalm.* Whatever, I tried. Some people just insist on living in bizarro land.

I don't know, this in particular is kind of bizarro.

[Anonymous User]

3. Stop trying to optimize your situation. It signals that you're calculatingly ambitious, which is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a servant.

*Facepalm.* Whatever, I tried. Some people just insist on living in bizarro land.

I don't know, this in particular is kind of bizarro.

omfg. OK. It's amazing how lawyers have zero self-awareness.

Edit: Actually, let me see if I can offer OP one other bit of advice. Stop trying to use pretext and bullshit to fool people. Lawyers think they can do this, but they can't. You just saw this with Michael Cohen and his bullshit about going against Trump by copping a plea "to protect his holocaust father's last name." This is soooo cringeworthy. You're anonymous here, so why not just write:

"I'm black and my firm pairs black associates with black mentors. I don't like this because black seniors aren't successful, so what am I going to get from them? (or I'm trying to fuck this one senior, or whatever devious motivation you have.) How do I get a white mentor without seeming racist?"

[nixy]

That is a really shitty and not at all inevitable interpretation of what the OP said.

Also, not at all related/responsive to the specific point I called out.

[Anonymous User]

That is a really shitty and not at all inevitable interpretation of what the OP said.

Also, not at all related/responsive to the specific point I called out.

Whatever.

Serves me right for trying to help the clueless. Advice to readers of this thread. If someone asks a cringeworthy question, don't think you can help them. Run away from the thread.

[Anonymous User]

3. Stop trying to optimize your situation. It signals that you're calculatingly ambitious, which is not a good look for someone who is supposed to be a servant.

*Facepalm.* Whatever, I tried. Some people just insist on living in bizarro land.

I don't know, this in particular is kind of bizarro.

omfg. OK. It's amazing how lawyers have zero self-awareness.

Edit: Actually, let me see if I can offer OP one other bit of advice. Stop trying to use pretext and bullshit to fool people. Lawyers think they can do this, but they can't. You just saw this with Michael Cohen and his bullshit about going against Trump by copping a plea "to protect his holocaust father's last name." This is soooo cringeworthy. You're anonymous here, so why not just write:

"I'm black and my firm pairs black associates with black mentors. I don't like this because black seniors aren't successful, so what am I going to get from them? (or I'm trying to fuck this one senior, or whatever devious motivation you have.) How do I get a white mentor without seeming racist?"

Lol, like I said, OP, insane.

Op, good luck getting the mentorship you’re looking for. Don’t let any one make you feel dumb for advocating for yourself (as long as you stay polite, flexible, and reasonable, your firm will try and work with you).

Good luck to us all in navigating a profession filled with easily triggered psycho snow flakes like the anon quoted above.

[Anonymous User]

Lol, like I said, OP, insane.

Op, good luck getting the mentorship you’re looking for. Don’t let any one make you feel dumb for advocating for yourself (as long as you stay polite, flexible, and reasonable, your firm will try and work with you).

Good luck to us all in navigating a profession filled with easily triggered psycho snow flakes like the anon quoted above.

You sure you're not triggered here? Any way, there's no need for repeated vituperative insults, especially ones alluding to your possible mental illness. They make you look quite unstable and creepy. No need to discuss further.