falling out with a partner? Forum

[Anonymous User]

I had a falling out with my partner about 6 or 7 months ago and switched practice group. This particular partner is known for being vicious and spiteful and to this day I hear through grapevines that this partner is trying to either get me fired or make my life as miserable as possible. However, so far I am insulated from all that because I do not work with this partner anymore. It's no consolation but I am not the only one. Former associates who endured under this partner all left before they reached one year at the firm. I was the last to leave but most junior.

It seems like every month or two I keep hearing some bs about how this partner, whom I no longer work for, complains to management about my "low hours." I am at a point where I am thinking I should just leave my firm. I am in my second year of practice, and it has been about 16 months or so since I started at this firm. Am I beating a dead horse staying at my firm? I am just not sure how long I will last. Stick it out as long as I can until I get canned? What do? Thanks for the advice.

[deepseapartners]

That's a shitty situation, OP. Is there any particular reason you feel ties to this firm?

[Person1111]

Not a great situation. This can range from merely annoying (if your hours are good and/or the partner is not very powerful) to job-killing (if your hours are not in fact good and/or the partner is a big rainmaker). It certainly doesn't hurt you if the partner has a reputation for being vindictive or nasty, but it's tough to say how much it actually helps you.

[trebekismyhero]

That sounds pretty terrible. At best it is annoying, at worst it will lead to getting canned. Either way, what is the point of staying? If you have at least a year of experience I would definitely look to lateral

[malibustacy]

You must have really pissed this person off that they devote so much energy and time trying to get you canned. If the partner has a history of trouble with associates, the other partners might just not listen too him too much.

[Anonymous User]

Op here. My mindset is that there are crazy partners at every firm and my situation is not unique. Either way I have a bulldog after me and this issue is not going to go away anytime soon. I will try to lateral asap. Thanks for the advice.

[Desert Fox]

Before you leave accuse him of something unethical. Spread some nasty ass rumors.

[Anonymous User]

Before you leave accuse him of something unethical. Spread some nasty ass rumors.

This partner has some administrative complaint from secretaries. Everyone knows this partner is insane. But because this partner has a growing book of bizniz all is forgiven.

[Desert Fox]

HYPOTHETICALLY: it would be pretty hilarious if you anonoymously sent clients a tip that he fraudulently bills them

[Anonymous User]

I actually just recently switched jobs in part because of a situation like this. An attorney who handles labor negotiations for public entities had me research what he admitted was a very complicated wage and hour issue. I guess he didn't like the answer I came up with, and he's spent the better part of the last two years trashing me at every opportunity even though I never do work for him anymore.

I also had another partner who wanted me to jump in on a commercial foreclosure matter that was originally filed in 2008. This file was absolutely enormous, and with other partners giving me a ton of work already, I politely declined the assignment and said I just didn't have the time to get up to speed on that type of file. So this led this partner to also trash me at board and shareholder meetings.

Ultimately, I decided to cut my losses. I've accepted an offer with a smaller firm and actually got a raise through negotiating.

TL;DR: move on when an opportunity arises.

[Anonymous User]

It sucks but I came to a conclusion that it is just not going to work. This thing recurring once a month or so really pisses me off and brings back memories of feeling dread when I used to work for this partner. Im going to start mass mailing. I hope my 1 yr exp will save me months and months of job search.

[cron1834]

I actually just recently switched jobs in part because of a situation like this. An attorney who handles labor negotiations for public entities had me research what he admitted was a very complicated wage and hour issue. I guess he didn't like the answer I came up with, and he's spent the better part of the last two years trashing me at every opportunity even though I never do work for him anymore.

I also had another partner who wanted me to jump in on a commercial foreclosure matter that was originally filed in 2008. This file was absolutely enormous, and with other partners giving me a ton of work already, I politely declined the assignment and said I just didn't have the time to get up to speed on that type of file. So this led this partner to also trash me at board and shareholder meetings.

Ultimately, I decided to cut my losses. I've accepted an offer with a smaller firm and actually got a raise through negotiating.

TL;DR: move on when an opportunity arises.

Question — how do you know what was said about you at partner meetings, etc? Are there other partners who are filling you in on the gossip?

Unfortunate but interesting thread.

[Anonymous User]

I actually just recently switched jobs in part because of a situation like this. An attorney who handles labor negotiations for public entities had me research what he admitted was a very complicated wage and hour issue. I guess he didn't like the answer I came up with, and he's spent the better part of the last two years trashing me at every opportunity even though I never do work for him anymore.

I also had another partner who wanted me to jump in on a commercial foreclosure matter that was originally filed in 2008. This file was absolutely enormous, and with other partners giving me a ton of work already, I politely declined the assignment and said I just didn't have the time to get up to speed on that type of file. So this led this partner to also trash me at board and shareholder meetings.

Ultimately, I decided to cut my losses. I've accepted an offer with a smaller firm and actually got a raise through negotiating.

TL;DR: move on when an opportunity arises.

Question — how do you know what was said about you at partner meetings, etc? Are there other partners who are filling you in on the gossip?

Unfortunate but interesting thread.

There's a partner here who's like 80 years old who gives me a heads up about everything. He's on some type of committee here that, by definition, knows what's discussed at board and shareholder meetings, so he has a good pulse on things.

The type of shit some of the partners would talk about me was absurd. I guess the labor guy would bitch in shareholder meetings that I came to the office in tennis shoes in the winter. Kiss my ass, dude.

So I guess this leads me to recommend befriending someone you don't work with directly who may have a pulse on things. It's been of great benefit of me and helped me see the writing on the wall long before that was even remotely consequential.

[cron1834]

Truly bizarre. That sucks.

[Anonymous User]

Hah, this is the exact same situation I'm in. Already asked to transfer departments (but luckily, I've been able to build up goodwill already in the new department). The partner I work for is insane as well, but at least everyone is very aware of it, so that I'm hoping that should minimize the damage.

[Roy McAvoy]

I actually just recently switched jobs in part because of a situation like this. An attorney who handles labor negotiations for public entities had me research what he admitted was a very complicated wage and hour issue. I guess he didn't like the answer I came up with, and he's spent the better part of the last two years trashing me at every opportunity even though I never do work for him anymore.

I also had another partner who wanted me to jump in on a commercial foreclosure matter that was originally filed in 2008. This file was absolutely enormous, and with other partners giving me a ton of work already, I politely declined the assignment and said I just didn't have the time to get up to speed on that type of file. So this led this partner to also trash me at board and shareholder meetings.

Ultimately, I decided to cut my losses. I've accepted an offer with a smaller firm and actually got a raise through negotiating.

TL;DR: move on when an opportunity arises.

Question — how do you know what was said about you at partner meetings, etc? Are there other partners who are filling you in on the gossip?

Unfortunate but interesting thread.

There's a partner here who's like 80 years old who gives me a heads up about everything. He's on some type of committee here that, by definition, knows what's discussed at board and shareholder meetings, so he has a good pulse on things.

The type of shit some of the partners would talk about me was absurd. I guess the labor guy would bitch in shareholder meetings that I came to the office in tennis shoes in the winter. Kiss my ass, dude.

So I guess this leads me to recommend befriending someone you don't work with directly who may have a pulse on things. It's been of great benefit of me and helped me see the writing on the wall long before that was even remotely consequential.

Do other people wear tennis shoes in the winter? If not, and he doesn’t like you for shit like that, I don’t see why you haven’t just been wearing normal shoes, other normal conforming things, etc. Sorry, this just seems like such an odd comment.

[cron1834]

I keep dress shoes under my desk and walk to work in tennis shoes every day. It’s not at all weird. Unless OP is talking about like not changing out of them.

[Anonymous User]

Do other people wear tennis shoes in the winter? If not, and he doesn’t like you for shit like that, I don’t see why you haven’t just been wearing normal shoes, other normal conforming things, etc. Sorry, this just seems like such an odd comment.

Ardent tennis-shoe wearing anon here. The point of the anecdote was to emphasize that once that particular labor partner began to criticize me, he would criticize me for damn near anything, including something as stupid as what type of shoes I wear into the office.

But anyway, I left the job about a month ago. I'm currently working from home in a bath robe and slippers while laying under a heated blanket. That partner can still kiss my ass.

[Roy McAvoy]

I keep dress shoes under my desk and walk to work in tennis shoes every day. It’s not at all weird. Unless OP is talking about like not changing out of them.

That's what I figured, that he wasn't changing out of them, if he was getting criticized for it. Anyway, it seems like a moot point if he's already gone and is able to work from home in his robe. Good on him, sounds like a big step up to me.

[Yugihoe]

What do you do now OP? Congrats on the move.

[sparty99]

Do other people wear tennis shoes in the winter? If not, and he doesn’t like you for shit like that, I don’t see why you haven’t just been wearing normal shoes, other normal conforming things, etc. Sorry, this just seems like such an odd comment.

Ardent tennis-shoe wearing anon here. The point of the anecdote was to emphasize that once that particular labor partner began to criticize me, he would criticize me for damn near anything, including something as stupid as what type of shoes I wear into the office.

But anyway, I left the job about a month ago. I'm currently working from home in a bath robe and slippers while laying under a heated blanket. That partner can still kiss my ass.

You really need to wear something instead of tennis shoes. Like get a cheap pair of Aldo for winter or a nice pair of winter boots, dawg. You looking silly though with your tennis shoes in the winter.

[pinheadlarry]

Before you leave accuse him of something unethical. Spread some nasty ass rumors.

do not spread rumors it is a sin

[Anonymous User]

I had a similar situation. I didn't know a partner wrote me off (but I sensed something weird was going on), but a mentor outside of my department told me. I literally did not get any billable hours (like 500 for a year) for an entire year, and the entire department was very passive aggressive towards me. I finally found another job and moved on, after a year. Best part is that I didn't even get an exit interview. Sadly, I didn't land in biglaw, but I am already plotting my way back (I am not ready to leave yet).

Some people are just vicious and need to destroy you just to show you that they control your fate. It's not really about what you've done. In my case, I don't even know exactly what happened; anecdotally, it was because I didn't do well on a call with an opposing counsel when I was a second year, but I don't even remember any of this. I could feel that the partner didn't like me from the get-go because I didn't have the top-notch credentials that he tends to look for in associates. Run as fast as you can if you ever find yourself in that situation. The firm and other partners will always side with the partner. I have learned it the hard way.