Use wedding to network? Forum

[Anonymous User]

I was going to have a wedding and invite my friend's and family. I was also going to invite some associate-buddies at my firm from my class. Wedding budget is about $10k, will likely go up to $15k. Guest list is about 50-60 so far.

Someone mentioned the possibility of having a nicer wedding and inviting partners of my firm or clients.

Do you guys have thoughts on this? Did you invite partners/clients to your wedding?

[Anonymous User]

First question. Have you asked your future spouse if this would even remotely be okay?

Also. You won't likely have time to network like you want at your own wedding. And if it's that small it'll be a littler weird. A 200 guest wedding maybe. But not for 50-60

[KM2016]

You're seriously considering starting your marriage off by turning your wedding into a networking event? It's arguably the one time in your biglaw career that everyone, partners included, will tell you to forget about work. Listen to them; forget about work. Go get married and give your future spouse and your family/friends the attention that the event warrants.

[Anonymous User]

This is one of the more sociopathic things I've ever read on this site, and that's saying a lot.

[elendinel]

In many cultures it's fine and in some ways expected that business contacts get invited to weddings. But usually this is out of respect (i.e., you invite the boss because you respect him/her and want to show that respect by inviting him/her to one of the most important events of your life), or when someone who is financing a wedding for someone else wants to use it as a means to network with other people (i.e., you invite a potential client to your son's wedding to impress the client, in the hopes they give you work down the line; you do this because you're the one paying for it, anyway, and since you're not in the wedding party you won't be able to see your son much anyway/will have plenty of time to talk shop).

I have never heard of someone using their own wedding as a means to network with new partners/clients, though; probably because if you're doing it right you won't have time to be doing networking during an event that is supposed to focus on yourself and your future spouse. And also because most future spouses wouldn't enjoy being ditched at their own wedding to deal with all the legit guests so that their spouse can go talk shop for the rest of the reception with the networking guests. I don't know that I'd call this sociopathic, but it seems like a weird move.

[Anonymous User]

First question. Have you asked your future spouse if this would even remotely be okay?

Also. You won't likely have time to network like you want at your own wedding. And if it's that small it'll be a littler weird. A 200 guest wedding maybe. But not for 50-60

She's the one who suggested it. From the angle that we kinda need to impress others.

[Hutz_and_Goodman]

First question. Have you asked your future spouse if this would even remotely be okay?

Also. You won't likely have time to network like you want at your own wedding. And if it's that small it'll be a littler weird. A 200 guest wedding maybe. But not for 50-60

She's the one who suggested it. From the angle that we kinda need to impress others.

This is a very bad idea.

[jchiles]

I would not invite clients

[cavalier1138]

First question. Have you asked your future spouse if this would even remotely be okay?

Also. You won't likely have time to network like you want at your own wedding. And if it's that small it'll be a littler weird. A 200 guest wedding maybe. But not for 50-60

She's the one who suggested it. From the angle that we kinda need to impress others.

But screw your courage to the sticking-place
And we'll not fail!

[Lincoln]

I invited some associates and partners to my wedding, but it had nothing to do with networking. The partners I invited are people I have worked closely with for years, and I know their families just as they know my now-wife. I would never invite a client because my relationship with my clients is strictly professional; unlike my coworkers, the clients are in no way personal friends of mine.

[Danger Zone]

lmao

this site

[TLSModBot]

lmao

this site

[Anonymous User]

WTF...

Invite the biggest rainmakers at your firm. They won't come, but maybe they'll send a ballin' gift.

Edit: Don't actually do that. Just... don't do it.

[dixiecupdrinking]

Inviting your boss(es) can be appropriate in some circumstances, but your wedding sounds far too small. I would only invite associates if you consider them friends. And clients are a no, unless you know them on a personal level.

[BasilHallward]

Yeah, this is some Patrick Bateman shit here. And great use of anon, OP.

[Bluem_11]

I call troll.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

OP: Don't listen to the naysayers. This is an absolutely crucial time in your career, and you can't afford to be missing a single opportunity to network. The guys who really have a step on the competition are the ones who always have their eye on the prize when it comes to turning chitchat into books of business, and a social gathering like your own wedding, where you control the attendee list and should have every opportunity to mingle with the power players, is often the foundational block in your pyramid of success.

In fact, one of the biggest rainmakers in my firm did just this when he was a junior. You had all the moms, dads, and friends from 1st grade back when he was blowing milk bubbles out of his nose on one side; on the other, partners, industry bigwigs, and the freaking GC of LyondellBasell (he had really been pounding the pavement at the conferences, slyly slipped over at a Marriott bar or two, that kind of thing). He had seated all his client contacts on the aisles during the ceremony, so he could seamlessly hand out business cards while waiting for his bride-to-be. Once the reception started, though, he really caught fire. He knew this one CFO of a small stereo equipment company really liked Mariah Carey, so he called an audible on the first dance and brought her up for a moving three minutes of "We Belong Together" and told her he hopes their union would last a long time "much like the one between Gabby and myself." Before we could even un-drop our jaws there he was, having zoomed by his grandfather who had Parkinson's, already talking to two guys in semiconductors about how the one oughta acquire the other one's Taiwanese sub and how they could expect $15M in synergies alone. Four years later, the firm submitted a $2.7M bill on that one.

After that night, he was the biggest thing at a firm that included 19 Super Lawyers, 15 HLS magnas, two future SCOTUS clerks, and a movie star (doesn't matter who). I may not be able to impress on you, at such an early stage in your career, how unprecedented it is to be quarterbacking ten-figure deals as a second year, but suffice it to say even our of counsel had never heard of such a thing, except some vague, unsubstantiated rumors that one of the Kennedys was pulling it off back in the '40s. MDs from Deutsche, Citi, and all the rest that we didn't even know were calling partners and asking to be put through to this kid. Despite all that--and OP, this is the really important part--he kept his nose to the grindstone, never missed a comma, and cracked 2800 for eleven more years, never letting any anniversaries or basal-cell carcinomas stop him from achieving his dream, before he finally snagged that brass ring we all knew he was headed for. He weighs 275 pounds now and his kids call him "Jeff," but that's not the point. The point is, you need to talk to your fiancee ASAP about getting a venue that can incorporate everyone on those deal teams, because you know how quickly those venues fill up.

[RaceJudicata]

Honestly, as someone who is getting married in the next 6 months, I found the most shocking part of this post to be the fact that you are a pulling off a wedding for $15k.

[Danger Zone]

Honestly, as someone who is getting married in the next 6 months, I found the most shocking part of this post to be the fact that you are a pulling off a wedding for $15k.

Same but then I saw the guest count

[elendinel]

OP: Don't listen to the naysayers. This is an absolutely crucial time in your career, and you can't afford to be missing a single opportunity to network. The guys who really have a step on the competition are the ones who always have their eye on the prize when it comes to turning chitchat into books of business, and a social gathering like your own wedding, where you control the attendee list and should have every opportunity to mingle with the power players, is often the foundational block in your pyramid of success.

In fact, one of the biggest rainmakers in my firm did just this when he was a junior. You had all the moms, dads, and friends from 1st grade back when he was blowing milk bubbles out of his nose on one side; on the other, partners, industry bigwigs, and the freaking GC of LyondellBasell (he had really been pounding the pavement at the conferences, slyly slipped over at a Marriott bar or two, that kind of thing). He had seated all his client contacts on the aisles during the ceremony, so he could seamlessly hand out business cards while waiting for his bride-to-be. Once the reception started, though, he really caught fire. He knew this one CFO of a small stereo equipment company really liked Mariah Carey, so he called an audible on the first dance and brought her up for a moving three minutes of "We Belong Together" and told her he hopes their union would last a long time "much like the one between Gabby and myself." Before we could even un-drop our jaws there he was, having zoomed by his grandfather who had Parkinson's, already talking to two guys in semiconductors about how the one oughta acquire the other one's Taiwanese sub and how they could expect $15M in synergies alone. Four years later, the firm submitted a $2.7M bill on that one.

After that night, he was the biggest thing at a firm that included 19 Super Lawyers, 15 HLS magnas, two future SCOTUS clerks, and a movie star (doesn't matter who). I may not be able to impress on you, at such an early stage in your career, how unprecedented it is to be quarterbacking ten-figure deals as a second year, but suffice it to say even our of counsel had never heard of such a thing, except some vague, unsubstantiated rumors that one of the Kennedys was pulling it off back in the '40s. MDs from Deutsche, Citi, and all the rest that we didn't even know were calling partners and asking to be put through to this kid. Despite all that--and OP, this is the really important part--he kept his nose to the grindstone, never missed a comma, and cracked 2800 for eleven more years, never letting any anniversaries or basal-cell carcinomas stop him from achieving his dream, before he finally snagged that brass ring we all knew he was headed for. He weighs 275 pounds now and his kids call him "Jeff," but that's not the point. The point is, you need to talk to your fiancee ASAP about getting a venue that can incorporate everyone on those deal teams, because you know how quickly those venues fill up.

[Future Ex-Engineer]

OP pls do this and come back to post the results

[jhett]

If one of my outside counsel invites me to their wedding and I don't know them personally... I would question their judgment, legal and otherwise.

[acr]

OP: Don't listen to the naysayers. This is an absolutely crucial time in your career, and you can't afford to be missing a single opportunity to network. The guys who really have a step on the competition are the ones who always have their eye on the prize when it comes to turning chitchat into books of business, and a social gathering like your own wedding, where you control the attendee list and should have every opportunity to mingle with the power players, is often the foundational block in your pyramid of success.

In fact, one of the biggest rainmakers in my firm did just this when he was a junior. You had all the moms, dads, and friends from 1st grade back when he was blowing milk bubbles out of his nose on one side; on the other, partners, industry bigwigs, and the freaking GC of LyondellBasell (he had really been pounding the pavement at the conferences, slyly slipped over at a Marriott bar or two, that kind of thing). He had seated all his client contacts on the aisles during the ceremony, so he could seamlessly hand out business cards while waiting for his bride-to-be. Once the reception started, though, he really caught fire. He knew this one CFO of a small stereo equipment company really liked Mariah Carey, so he called an audible on the first dance and brought her up for a moving three minutes of "We Belong Together" and told her he hopes their union would last a long time "much like the one between Gabby and myself." Before we could even un-drop our jaws there he was, having zoomed by his grandfather who had Parkinson's, already talking to two guys in semiconductors about how the one oughta acquire the other one's Taiwanese sub and how they could expect $15M in synergies alone. Four years later, the firm submitted a $2.7M bill on that one.

After that night, he was the biggest thing at a firm that included 19 Super Lawyers, 15 HLS magnas, two future SCOTUS clerks, and a movie star (doesn't matter who). I may not be able to impress on you, at such an early stage in your career, how unprecedented it is to be quarterbacking ten-figure deals as a second year, but suffice it to say even our of counsel had never heard of such a thing, except some vague, unsubstantiated rumors that one of the Kennedys was pulling it off back in the '40s. MDs from Deutsche, Citi, and all the rest that we didn't even know were calling partners and asking to be put through to this kid. Despite all that--and OP, this is the really important part--he kept his nose to the grindstone, never missed a comma, and cracked 2800 for eleven more years, never letting any anniversaries or basal-cell carcinomas stop him from achieving his dream, before he finally snagged that brass ring we all knew he was headed for. He weighs 275 pounds now and his kids call him "Jeff," but that's not the point. The point is, you need to talk to your fiancee ASAP about getting a venue that can incorporate everyone on those deal teams, because you know how quickly those venues fill up.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOST IT

[Anonymous User]

I was going to have a wedding and invite my friend's and family. I was also going to invite some associate-buddies at my firm from my class. Wedding budget is about $10k, will likely go up to $15k. Guest list is about 50-60 so far.

Someone mentioned the possibility of having a nicer wedding and inviting partners of my firm or clients.

Do you guys have thoughts on this? Did you invite partners/clients to your wedding?

Thought: kill yourself.
Second thought: have SO do it too for Shakespeare's sake.

[Kali the Annihilator]

I wrote the kill yourself suggestion. My bad on anon.