To Those Who Are Miserable Forum

[Anonymous User]

I have been reading a lot about how miserable many of us are working in the law. From reading it on here, to reading the NYT article, a lot is going around lately showing just how horrible this profession can be for the wrong people. For many of us, it started in law school, mistakenly taking out massive loans for a profession we were not sure we would enjoy, with the hopes of building a better life for ourselves. Grinding through law school and the bar exam, getting the "golden ticket" of a nice law firm job, only to find out that this existence is meaningless and soul crushing. I think some people were meant to do this, or at least have an easier time finding it interesting, or finding the money worth it. But for those of us that don't find it easy, but are chained up due to financial considerations, I feel like the whole experience of law school - bar exam - law firm can really start to wear us down, make us become shells of our former selves. I know it has for me in some ways.

As someone that struggled in law school, yet still managed to be successful and land a top NYC firm, it was really an eye-opening experience to realize that I put in years of hard work, tons of time studying and networking and lots of money to be in a position where I am utterly miserable with my job. It seems like a lot of people feel the same way. I came across this post from a few years ago on Reddit this morning, looking for ways to feel good about where I'm at, and maybe gain some motivation to actually start caring if I loose this job or not. It did the opposite, it made me realize we don't really know how much time we have left and that doing something that makes you unhappy just for money is one of the saddest ways to live life. I know some people have family obligations, kids, a mortgage, and so they do this work for those things. I understand that people like that are stronger than I could probably ever be, since doing this job for the purpose of providing would make me lose my mind. However, for those of us still trying to figure it out, and those thinking of going to law school and taking on debt for the hope and prayer that you will like what you do, I wanted to post what I found as I sit here in my desk, waiting for yet another night to be ruined. I Hope this helps people on the fence about making some drastic choices and hope it makes people realize that at the end of the day, there are more important things than money in our short lives:

I am only 24 years old, yet I have actually already chosen my last tie. It’s the one that I will wear on my funeral a few months from now. It may not match my suit, but I think it’s perfect for the occasion. The cancer diagnosis came too late to give me at least a tenuous hope for a long life, but I realized that the most important thing about death is to ensure that you leave this world a little better than it was before you existed with your contributions . The way I’ve lived my life so far, my existence or more precisely the loss of it, will not matter because I have lived without doing anything impactful. Before, there were so many things that occupied my mind. When I learned how much time I had left, however, it became clear which things are really important. So, I am writing to you for a selfish reason. I want to give meaning to my life by sharing with you what I have realized:

Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy. It is obvious that you cannot succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come easily only when you love what you do.

It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions. Fear weakens and paralyzes you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a shell of yourself. Listen to your inner voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but some may even think you‘re a legend.

Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier life. Find a sport that makes you happy. Most of all, don’t procrastinate. Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t.

Appreciate the people around you Your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love. That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted. It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I'm not upset because I understand that the last days of my life have become meaningful. I only regret that I will not be able to see a lot of cool stuff that should happen soon like the creation of AI, or Elon Musk’s next awesome project. I also hope that the war in Syria and Ukraine will end soon. We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box - a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in this box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe that we all have potential, but it also takes a lot of courage to realize it. You can float through a life created by circumstances, missing day after day, hour after hour. Or, you can fight for what you believe in and write the great story of your life. I hope you will make the right choice.

Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe. So, enjoy your time here with passion. Make it interesting. Make it count!
Thank you!

[Anonymous User]

there's several great nuggets of wisdom in there. wish i had this information before i entered law school because i would have done more research into the field before entering it. it can be miserable when you do not have the personality or cannot produce your best work because you lack the passion. this showed when i didn't pass the bar on the first attempt since i had no desire to study. law just isn't for everyone. it's one thing in class to be a good student but another to be a good lawyer in practice. it's not for everyone.

my recommendation to those miserable in the field who do not have a escape rope is to continue to work in the field and in the meantime try to transition towards a field that you will enjoy. this will require a lot of soul searching, the overdue soul searching you should have done earlier before applying to law school but didn't. find something you enjoy and get motivated by because that will allow you to produce your best work. and in case you are in the field now producing mediocre work, ask yourself whether you are content with that quality of output or whether you want to improve. improvement requires sacrifice and you're going to need a lot of passion and motivation to make those sacrifices. and if it isn't there, then you are really going to hate it. otherwise work towards transitioning out. a career in law is not cemented in stone and all you need is time to make the transition.

[Anonymous User]

I'm a 4th year big law associate and have pretty much decided that when this shit is over, I'm going back to school to study environmental science. If I'm going to be working hard, I'd like to be a field scientist or work in conservation at national parks out west. Maybe do a double major in data analytics and environmental science and start my own consulting firm and work with governments and think tanks on climate policy. I don't know, I feel good about taking that path and as someone who has always been a shitty student, I think going back to school with a wife and a purpose would be different this time around. Instead of partying, I'd be able to hike and camp on the weekends, take summer and spring break trips to be with family. Thinking about it is one of the few things that help get me through the day to day.

[BigTimeCuck]

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[Anonymous User]

Different anon here. Law school was the worst decision I ever made. Even though I went to a top school, I know now that I have no positive future in this profession. Moving back to the goals and passions I once had before law has taken time and I am still struggling through it, but I can only hope I will correct these mistakes before its too late.

[Anonymous User]

I'm in a horrible place and pretty much all of it stems from my decision to go to law school and take out ~200k in loans.

I was aware of forums like this and JD Underground, and was well versed in the horror stories associated with the Vale of Tears and the crippling debt, not to mention the misery, tedium, and ennui that defines the experience of essentially every lawyer, even the big law associates fortunate enough to score a winning ticket.

But I was young and stupid. I knew I'd be top 1/3, law review, big law. I knew I'd succeed as an attorney, because I always excelled in the humanities and I "like to argue." I knew I'd like my colleagues and form many meaningful friendships, because who wouldn't want to rub shoulders with Harvey Specter and Elle Woods?

I was obviously wrong. Now I work in shitlaw for 50k a year. My job's monotonous, simple (any mongoloid with a hard dick could do it) yet unnecessarily frustrating (annoying opioid addicted clients, hyper-aggressive defense counsel, anal partners, grating secretaries,etc.). My rent and student loan payments amount to 90% of my monthly take home, so I'm in the red on a month-to-month basis. If it were an option, I would happily declare bankruptcy and hand in my license if it meant the full discharge of my debt.

People warned me, and I just didn't fucking listen.

Since graduating, I've slowly descended into alcoholism and PK addiction, which I've managed (for now) to hide from my SO, family, and friends.
See, I'm too ashamed and cowardly to admit I'm a colossal failure and profoundly unhappy. Whenever the ol' crew gets together for a bachelor party or tailgate, I smile and nod as they share their personal and professional developments - engagements, promotions, closing on a house, etc. When the conversation turns to me I just mutter something like "Work is work" and steer the group to another topic. My fragile masculinity also precludes me from sharing my feelings with my SO, who also made the horrible decision of going to law school and is in a similar boat. I feel I have to be the "strength" and voice of optimism in the relationship. Ha, imagine that.

I did muster the courage to see a psychiatrist - mostly for the Valium scrip - but to be honest it's something of a jerkoff. There isn't any major trauma in my childhood that needs resolving; pre law school, I was a moderately happy and well adjusted person. So our sessions are mostly just filler and dead air. I do suppose it just helps to talk, though.

(Interesting aside - my shrink does pro bono counseling up at the state penitentiary. When I gave him the rundown of my situation and articulated my feelings of regret, shame, and hopelessness, he pointed out that I sound startlingly similar to gangbangers 3-5 years into their life sentences).

Anyway, this post resonated with me. As miserable as I am, there's still a part of me that wants to reclaim some sort of semblance of a life before it's too late. To fight back, to appreciate what I *do* have (terrific SO, loving family, good friends, my health), and to pursue my true passion. Hopefully this feeling isn't fleeting and I can get back on track. We'll see.

Hey man, please tell me you have not refinanced your debt? If so, then there is still a way out. Try to get a job in public service somewhere and stick it out for ten years. You'll have better hours, generally better people to work with, and maybe you'll even like the work you do there. After ten years, the loans are gone and in that time you can try positioning yourself more and more towards your passions.

[Anonymous User]

Different anon here. Law school was the worst decision I ever made. Even though I went to a top school, I know now that I have no positive future in this profession. Moving back to the goals and passions I once had before law has taken time and I am still struggling through it, but I can only hope I will correct these mistakes before its too late.

Can I ask what you are doing now to work at your pre-law school passions? Were you a big law associate after law school?