Office wars with one of the paralegals Forum

[Anonymous User]

She started it, I retaliated...will this end poorly?

[sublime]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

[MKC]

She started it, I retaliated...will this end poorly?

Concede defeat now before the paralegal turns the entire staff against you. You need them more than they need you.

[Anonymous User]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

[MKC]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

[sublime]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

Little peices of paper (or foil if you are cruel) that you fold up and use a rubber band to "shoot" at somebody.

[#NotACop]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

Little peices of paper (or foil if you are cruel) that you fold up and use a rubber band to "shoot" at somebody.

ohhh I've never thought to use foil...thanks for the advice

[sublime]

[Pokemon]

This was my flirting style when I was 11 years old.

[MKC]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

Little peices of paper (or foil if you are cruel) that you fold up and use a rubber band to "shoot" at somebody.

OK. I remember those from elementary school. I've just never heard them called that before.

[JusticeJackson]

.

[jrf12886]

Just ask her out, jeez.

[LaLiLuLeLo]

Pretty sure banging paralegals is required to be on partner track.

[#NotACop]

Pretty sure banging paralegals is required to be on partner track.

Now I know my mission

[bern victim]

leave this note on her desk:

Code: Select all

INTERROGATORY NO. 1:

State whether you will go out with me by checking one (1) of the following boxes:

[ ] Yes    [ ] No

[kaysta]

paralegal response: interrogatory who is this aspie who's leaving interrogatories on my desk. check either
1) tool 2) jackass

[Single-Malt-Liquor]

Fucking litigators.

Be the alpha deal bro you are and take her to the data room for some diligence.

[frank-reynolds]

probably just thinks you're too tall and handsome

[LeDique]

Fucking litigators.

Be the alpha deal bro you are and take her to the data room for some diligence.

ok im still not clear is there an actual room what the hell is a data room

[Single-Malt-Liquor]

Fucking litigators.

Be the alpha deal bro you are and take her to the data room for some diligence.

ok im still not clear is there an actual room what the hell is a data room

They're pretty much all virtual now. Back in the days it was an actual room that had ALL THE FILES that would be reasonably expected in order to do preliminary diligence on a target.

[pancakes3]

put her stapler in jello.

[rnoodles]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

Little peices of paper (or foil if you are cruel) that you fold up and use a rubber band to "shoot" at somebody.

ohhh I've never thought to use foil...thanks for the advice

you can also staple the tips. stings like hell

[lymenheimer]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

Little peices of paper (or foil if you are cruel) that you fold up and use a rubber band to "shoot" at somebody.

ohhh I've never thought to use foil...thanks for the advice

you can also staple the tips. stings like hell

Or put a paper clip around the tip/fold it where it fits.

also, if you get a big enough paper clip, you can fold the tips outward so it sticks into things. It doesn't fly as easily, though.

[rnoodles]

What happened?

And yes, it seems that it will likely end poorly.

It started out as taking/hiding stuff that was openly visible on the desks....it's escalated to rubber bands and wasps

Wasps?

Little peices of paper (or foil if you are cruel) that you fold up and use a rubber band to "shoot" at somebody.

ohhh I've never thought to use foil...thanks for the advice

you can also staple the tips. stings like hell

Or put a paper clip around the tip/fold it where it fits.

also, if you get a big enough paper clip, you can fold the tips outward so it sticks into things. It doesn't fly as easily, though.

Used to make rubber band crossbows and fire wasps tipped with tacks (the gold, flat-ish ones). Those were lots of fun, but I'm sure you can use the tack with regular old rubber bands, too

[Anonymous User]

OP here, update:
Office wars officially over, she thought the managing partner was me and sprinted away from him...embarrassed herself pretty bad

next step: get a drink with her