gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews Forum

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gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by Anonymous User » Fri May 27, 2016 1:43 pm

I have a gf from a secondary market. Is it over the line to say fiance when asked about ties for biglaw? Gf seems so juvenile in a professional interview.

acr

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by acr » Fri May 27, 2016 1:45 pm

significant other? idk. i've seen upperclassmen at my school use that term before who have V20 offers.

mvp99

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by mvp99 » Fri May 27, 2016 2:40 pm

Anonymous User wrote:I have a gf from a secondary market. Is it over the line to say fiance when asked about ties for biglaw? Gf seems so juvenile in a professional interview.
I used SO during interviews but only when they asked me "why X city?" not in cover letters, emails, etc.

drs36

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by drs36 » Fri May 27, 2016 2:59 pm

Don't use "gf." I agree that it is juvenile. SO is perfect. I don't see an issue in a cover letter if it's your only tie. "My significant other is from X city, and we hope to start our lives together here upon my graduation." Too much BS? Idk, but I used that line.

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stego

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by stego » Fri May 27, 2016 3:03 pm

I'm not giving advice but if you were to go with fiancée please spell it right.

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ballouttacontrol

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by ballouttacontrol » Sat May 28, 2016 5:13 am

significant other has a gay connotation though so I don't think that's great either. Also labels you as one in the hyper-PC crowd which could mildly annoy some ppl. I'd probably just tell the little white lie if you must mention it in a cover letter. If you can get to the interview though without mentioning it it's fine to say girlfriend and just say long-term gf or wtv

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by dixiecupdrinking » Sat May 28, 2016 12:40 pm

I probably wouldn't put either in a cover letter but "significant other" or even "partner" is fine in an interview.

I wouldn't say fiancée if you're not engaged. It's a white lie but one you could actually get caught in (eg if/when you do actually get engaged).

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20160810

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by 20160810 » Tue May 31, 2016 6:15 pm

Telling out and out lies, which is what you are proposing to do here, is a bad thing. Especially since the only justification in this case is that it would be beneficial to you to do so. Lying is often beneficial; that's literally why people do it. But it's a practice that will reflect your character, and if you get caught people will think you're an asshole and a weirdo. You've got a couple options:

1.) Use terms like "significant other," "better half," etc.

2.) Actually propose.

3.) Just don't mention it.

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by Anonymous User » Tue May 31, 2016 6:21 pm

Cool to bring it up in an interview if you've actually spent time with her there. Makes for a nice story.

Not cool for cover letter.

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hellengeek

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by hellengeek » Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:16 am

I'd probably just tell the little white lie if you must mention it in a cover letter. If you can get to the interview though without mentioning it it's fine to say girlfriend and just say long-term gf or wtv

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TLSModBot

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by TLSModBot » Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:27 am

SBL wrote:Telling out and out lies, which is what you are proposing to do here, is a bad thing. Especially since the only justification in this case is that it would be beneficial to you to do so. Lying is often beneficial; that's literally why people do it. But it's a practice that will reflect your character, and if you get caught people will think you're an asshole and a weirdo. You've got a couple options:

1.) Use terms like "significant other," "better half," etc.

2.) Actually propose.

3.) Just don't mention it.
Seconding this. Do one of these but don't fucking lie.

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by Anonymous User » Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:42 am

SBL wrote: Actually propose.

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TLSModBot

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by TLSModBot » Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:55 am

Option 4) Get multiple girlfriends with backgrounds in different markets so you can expand your base (but still refer to them as "significant other" etc.)

Also you can get some great pickup lines out of this, still without lying:

"Girl, I wanna work your secondary market so hard. You're so remarkable I wanna put you in my cover letter"

midwestrocks

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Re: gf vs fiance in cover letters/interviews

Post by midwestrocks » Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:25 am

I had a similar situation recently. I didn't mention anything in cover letters, but during interviews I referred to my gf at the time as my fiancee when asked why I wanted to move to X city. I think it would be weird if you had just started dating someone, but if you've been with someone a while and actually plan on getting engaged then I think 'fiancee' sounds more compelling. We got engaged shortly after. Definitely don't do it if you aren't going to get engaged relatively soon after, because I'm sure it will be an awkward conversation when someone remembers and asks what happened to your fiancee.

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