cried at my desk for first time Forum

[Anonymous User]

feel like a baby too because my siutation is relatively not that bad compared to other biglaw stories. had to work about 16 hours this weekend and was only up til 12 or 1 sat and sun night. no one yelling at me, no one saying i messed anything up. just kind of had a breakdown in the comfort of my office. "just don't see how it's gonna get better" was running through my head over and over. nothing really to add but feels good to vent and hope anyone reading this going through something similar knows they are not alone

[Anonymous User]

It doesn't get better. You'll be doing the same thing for the foreseeable future. The work gets easier after you do it a few times and you'll get somewhat used to the shitty hours. I left for the government because I got sick of it, but I'll be right back on the biglaw boat soon enough because I need the money. As is life.

[Anonymous User]

It's stressful and everyone deals with it differently. It might not get better immediately, but you'll have fewer days like that as you get more senior and learn to regulate workflow better, get more responsibility, and get more comfortable getting deadlines extended or moved so they don't conflict with your life.

[zot1]

Sorry to hear you're going through that. Hang in there, my friend.

[Anonymous User]

I will generally agree with the sentiment that it does not get better, but you do get used to the pain to some extent. The duration of one's stay in biglaw varies obviously, but few personalities are willing to endure the lifestyle long-term. If it is compromising your health, and it seems that it might be, consider leaving. You have other options.

If you are concerned about your debt and are willing to stick it out, consider moving to a cheaper location (TX, Atlanta or even Chicago) where you can rack up significant savings in just a year (see this post where someone accumulated ~$95k in this period : http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/v ... 3&t=258892). Consider moving to a smaller office (midlaw) with *truly* less hourly demands (talk to recruiters and do your due diligence) - these firms exist. In conjunction with the above, lower your expenses (get a roommate, move to a cheaper location, etc.) to expedite the payoff period.

Alternatively, if it's a different career you want and you are sick of taking on debt/paying exorbitant tuition fees, consider non-US/UK countries where you can obtain a solid education for a reasonable price (sub five figures is common).

Plenty of other options as well. Don't let the negativity of some get to you. Plenty of choices out there.

[clshopeful]

feel like a baby too because my siutation is relatively not that bad compared to other biglaw stories. had to work about 16 hours this weekend and was only up til 12 or 1 sat and sun night. no one yelling at me, no one saying i messed anything up. just kind of had a breakdown in the comfort of my office. "just don't see how it's gonna get better" was running through my head over and over. nothing really to add but feels good to vent and hope anyone reading this going through something similar knows they are not alone

I'm sure that $3100 paycheck that gets deposited every friday into your bank clears those tears right up

[rpupkin]

feel like a baby too because my siutation is relatively not that bad compared to other biglaw stories. had to work about 16 hours this weekend and was only up til 12 or 1 sat and sun night. no one yelling at me, no one saying i messed anything up. just kind of had a breakdown in the comfort of my office. "just don't see how it's gonna get better" was running through my head over and over. nothing really to add but feels good to vent and hope anyone reading this going through something similar knows they are not alone

I'm sure that $3100 paycheck that gets deposited every friday into your bank clears those tears right up

Let me guess: you're a law student.

[xael]

feel like a baby too because my siutation is relatively not that bad compared to other biglaw stories. had to work about 16 hours this weekend and was only up til 12 or 1 sat and sun night. no one yelling at me, no one saying i messed anything up. just kind of had a breakdown in the comfort of my office. "just don't see how it's gonna get better" was running through my head over and over. nothing really to add but feels good to vent and hope anyone reading this going through something similar knows they are not alone

I'm sure that $3100 paycheck that gets deposited every friday into your bank clears those tears right up

Let me guess: you're a law student.

correct

[sublime]

..

[TLSModBot]

Sorry to hear it OP. Just know that there are a shit ton of us here along side you (or about to be, in my case) in the trenches.

If you've got someone to talk to (fellow lawyers in your position/level, SO, friends) that you can blow off steam to then hopefully that can help.

[TLSModBot]

feel like a baby too because my siutation is relatively not that bad compared to other biglaw stories. had to work about 16 hours this weekend and was only up til 12 or 1 sat and sun night. no one yelling at me, no one saying i messed anything up. just kind of had a breakdown in the comfort of my office. "just don't see how it's gonna get better" was running through my head over and over. nothing really to add but feels good to vent and hope anyone reading this going through something similar knows they are not alone

I'm sure that $3100 paycheck that gets deposited every friday into your bank clears those tears right up

And to actually respond seriously to this point (I'll mangle this a little since my SO is the organizational psychologist and not me), the money doesn't really help. From what I understand of SO's research, Satisfaction and Dissatisfaction are not two ends of the same spectrum, but two different spectra entirely (so you can have things that increase or decrease satisfaction while concurrently having things that increase or decrease dissatisfaction, and one doesn't really negate the other). Money helps with satisfaction, and the brutal work environment plays more to dissatisfaction. So you end up with a lot of lawyers decently high in satisfaction and dissatisfaction - even though the pay is nice, the work/environment is still so draining or tedious or toxic that people still leave in droves.

Uh, but NY to 190K anyway!

[Anonymous User]

Biglaw is a lonely profession. Try your hardest to get some Vitamin D daily, even if it's just a walk across the street to buy a pack of gum. For those of us who leave the house in the dark and return home in the dark, you can quickly feel like an automaton on a treadmill. Even if you "love" your job, it's easy to become raw. Sometimes biglaw hours in non-NY/Chicago/DC markets are even more oppressive because it's not the norm - your friends are home hours before you and you just feel lonely, even if nothing triggered it. Those moments when your workload lightens and you come up for air...that's sometimes the hardest.

Exercise (or hobbies), sunshine, non-law friends - remember to BE, not just DO.

[Anonymous User]

feel like a baby too because my siutation is relatively not that bad compared to other biglaw stories. had to work about 16 hours this weekend and was only up til 12 or 1 sat and sun night. no one yelling at me, no one saying i messed anything up. just kind of had a breakdown in the comfort of my office. "just don't see how it's gonna get better" was running through my head over and over. nothing really to add but feels good to vent and hope anyone reading this going through something similar knows they are not alone

I'm sorry. I think that happens to us all. The only suggestion I have is to try and find a few work allies you can vent to/office you can hang out in when you need to be somewhere else, but you can't go home. Not feeling alone in this helps a lot.

Just try not to kiss them.

[encore1101]

I was going to write something snarky, but I decided against it.

OP, you wouldn't have been hired if they thought you couldn't handle it. Everything you're going through is temporary, and things will get better.

Keep your head up!

[Anonymous User]

OP here. Really appreciate the support in this thread, thanks all

[dixiecupdrinking]

I'm assuming you're a first year? If so: this really does get better. You continue to have periods of intense hours of course, but to me, it's the constant fear of fucking up for hours on end that really makes it bad. And that improves with experience, because you (1) get better at the job, (2) realize everyone else is worse at the job than you initially thought, and (3) can distinguish the stuff that you really can't afford to screw up (very little) from the stuff that's fixable (almost everything).

[Anonymous User]

OP, I have been doing the job for 4 years and the stress is real but, like others have said it gets better. You get more visibility, the more times you do any task the better you are at it, etc...and some of it is you learn to say f*ck it. I have had male and female partners tell me about times they have had mini-break downs, it really does happen to everyone. Just realize the moment will pass, it will get better and at the end of the day its just a paper-pushing job, this isn't life or death.

[Lincoln]

My partner insists that about half of the associates he's had in his 12 years as partner have cried in his office, so you can imagine how many have cried quietly in their own offices.

And as for your situation being "relatively not that bad," we all react different to different things on different days. I cried once on a Friday at 6 pm when I had to cancel meeting someone for drinks to work. I've also worked weeks where I billed 100+ hrs without so much as a quivering lip. Sometimes you can deal with it, and sometimes you can't.

But, again, it does get better, and you will soon figure out what parts of this job are for you and what aren't and whether the late nights are worth it. Just hang in there for a while.

[clshopeful]

back, after a temp ban.

The misery of biglaw and corporate life in general makes me think how unnatural it is for a human to sit in an office and read paperwork to be filed into a large man-made system [courts/contracts/etc]. How meaningless so much of what we do is.

It seems so against humanity -- humans are supposed to explore, be active; not worry about commas and whether a contact has an integration clause.

[El Pollito]

back, after a temp ban.

The misery of biglaw and corporate life in general makes me think how unnatural it is for a human to sit in an office and read paperwork to be filed into a large man-made system [courts/contracts/etc]. How meaningless so much of what we do is.

It seems so against humanity -- humans are supposed to explore, be active; not worry about commas and whether a contact has an integration clause.

Makes me sometimes think that maybe WE are the North Korea of the world, and our country just tells us we're the best, when in actuality, there is an entire other world out there we have never seen [like north koreans being brainwashed/not even knowing internet exists]. Ins't it plausible? The US buys all the airliners -- you take a trip to france, it's just a spot the US bought and changed the scenery to sell you on this huge brainwash. In actuality, if the planes deviated from their paths, you would land in a place no one has ever been, since the US gov't never allowed pilots to fly there.

Conspiracy theorist unite/late night rant

[kepfd24]

Its OK, OP. Earn yo' rocks

[whysoseriousbiglaw]

I wish I could say it gets better...but it doesn't really. You just get more responsibility and more shit.

[Anonymous User]

if i was crier i might be. the partner redrafts almost everything I write. Am i f*cked, or are some just serious micro managers?

[Anonymous User]

if i was crier i might be. the partner redrafts almost everything I write. Am i f*cked, or are some just serious micro managers?

Some are serious micro managers, some will micro manage to teach juniors and some will only "touch pen to paper" if your f*cking up.

Also, if your a 1st year, your work most likely needs redrafted....if your a 5th year and this is happening it ain't good (with the above partner micro manager caveat).

[zot1]

I think you can tell based on what the partner is changing. Is he making stylistic or substantive changes? That should help you figure it out.