Time to date in Big Law? Forum

[Anonymous User]

Hi Everyone,

How much time realistically is there to date and have a life as a single person while working in Big Law? Most of my classmates in law school seem to be doing long distance or have started dating someone in the school. There seem to be very few people who will be going into Big Law single.

I've heard semi-serious comments on this site like "You gotta lock in your social life before you start Big Law." Are these true?

And the dating that does happen, is that all through Tinder and the similar apps?

I understand this topic might invite some ridicule, but I would appreciate honest answers.

Thanks.

[Aeon]

It might not be easy if you're in a demanding firm and practice group with limited and unpredictable free time. Plus, you'll probably be compulsively checking your work phone on dates, which many people find off-putting. It's most difficult while being a junior, since you have essentially no control over your time. The more senior you get, the greater flexibility you have to manage your time (or just offload assignments on juniors ).

That said, although it's certainly easier if you are already in a relationship going in, it's possible to date once you're in BigLaw, but it'll probably be relegated mostly to the weekends and might need to be rescheduled now and again. For what it's worth, many people in BigLaw end up dating other people in BigLaw...

[Internetdan]

what are your feelings towards backpage.com

[r6_philly]

You just need someone who understands that you have no control of your personal time. You can find a decent amount of time, you just can't nail the time down. And you will be distracted by your emails.

[nick417]

Hi Everyone,

How much time realistically is there to date and have a life as a single person while working in Big Law? Most of my classmates in law school seem to be doing long distance or have started dating someone in the school. There seem to be very few people who will be going into Big Law single.

I've heard semi-serious comments on this site like "You gotta lock in your social life before you start Big Law." Are these true?

And the dating that does happen, is that all through Tinder and the similar apps?

I understand this topic might invite some ridicule, but I would appreciate honest answers.

Thanks.

Why are you posting anonymously, totally unnecessary.

[Tls2016]

Are you going to a firm where you live or went to school? That helps because you will know people to do things with if you have time.

Otherwise, are you wealthy? Because it's always possible to join some exclusive club or go out to expensive places when you have time and meet people. Although you may not be meeting anyone you want as a long term partner.

[Ohiobumpkin]

elitesingles.com

/thread

[Anonymous User]

Single senior associate here. I've found that there's very little time to date and have a life as a single biglaw associate...if you are trying for partner. If you are, the demands of being available to clients and partners constantly will severely limit how much time you have to date. Even when you have free time, you're often exhausted and not in the mood to go on dates with someone new, where you need to be "on" and "sell yourself" to some extent.

If you aren't trying to make partner, then you can do what everyone else does (especially during the junior/midlevel years): "set boundaries" at work and thus create the time you need to build a relationship. It will still be hard. Biglaw will run roughshod over your social life no matter what - and I'm speaking as that rare associate who likes biglaw and wants to stay longterm. If your new SO wants you to be on dates six nights a week or take two weekends a month away, that's probably going to be pretty challenging. But associates do seem to be able to date and find SOs who will roll with the punches. It's also easier if you can tell the SO that you're only doing this for [insert number of] years and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Again, harder for those of us who want a SO who can accept us being in biglaw long term.

Looking at my dating colleagues - yes, it's disproportionately online dating, but some people meet the old-fashioned way. Friends' parties, social clubs, alumni events, etc.

[rpupkin]

Hi Everyone,

How much time realistically is there to date and have a life as a single person while working in Big Law? Most of my classmates in law school seem to be doing long distance or have started dating someone in the school. There seem to be very few people who will be going into Big Law single.

I've heard semi-serious comments on this site like "You gotta lock in your social life before you start Big Law." Are these true?

And the dating that does happen, is that all through Tinder and the similar apps?

I understand this topic might invite some ridicule, but I would appreciate honest answers.

Thanks.

Why are you posting anonymously, totally unnecessary.

TLS is rife with anon abuse, and you're focusing on this? The OP is single and is anxious about forming close intimate relationships while working in big law. Can you really not understand why someone would want to post anonymously about such a highly personal topic?

[TLSModBot]

OP you've hit on a real and well-recognized issue in BigLaw. These days the answer depends on the firm. Many of the market leaders have been distancing themselves through adding CTO (Conjugal Time Off) in addition to regular vacation time. Others have structured evening events designed to facilitate social interaction skills so associate dates are more effective. Many more, sadly, are failing to address this issue and are losing valuable associate productivity due to depression, frequent bathroom masturbation trips, and of course the engaging of prostitutes.

[El Pollito]

people who come in single are screwed honestly

[whysoseriousbiglaw]

people who come in single are screwed honestly

Don't know if you guys are kidding, but honestly, from what I've seen, this seems like the case.

90% of the biglawyers who are married or in long term relationships met in college or law school.

There are some single people (even mid 30s to early 40s) and it looks like they have no legitimate options in the near future - they are probably also kind of batshit crazy though (and frankly, not good looking enough to compensate for it).

[Johann]

Hi Everyone,

How much time realistically is there to date and have a life as a single person while working in Big Law? Most of my classmates in law school seem to be doing long distance or have started dating someone in the school. There seem to be very few people who will be going into Big Law single.

I've heard semi-serious comments on this site like "You gotta lock in your social life before you start Big Law." Are these true?

And the dating that does happen, is that all through Tinder and the similar apps?

I understand this topic might invite some ridicule, but I would appreciate honest answers.

Thanks.

absolutely. you can tinder and bang on the side. but no one is going to put up with your shit in biglaw unless they loved you before and youve already DENNISed them.

[El Pollito]

people who come in single are screwed honestly

Don't know if you guys are kidding, but honestly, from what I've seen, this seems like the case.

90% of the biglawyers who are married or in long term relationships met in college or law school.

There are some single people (even mid 30s to early 40s) and it looks like they have no legitimate options in the near future - they are probably also kind of batshit crazy though (and frankly, not good looking enough to compensate for it).

Im 100% serious. I have no idea how you'd start a relationship or get to know someone new while biglawing.

[Phil Brooks]

OP you've hit on a real and well-recognized issue in BigLaw. These days the answer depends on the firm. Many of the market leaders have been distancing themselves through adding CTO (Conjugal Time Off) in addition to regular vacation time. Others have structured evening events designed to facilitate social interaction skills so associate dates are more effective. Many more, sadly, are failing to address this issue and are losing valuable associate productivity due to depression, frequent bathroom masturbation trips, and of course the engaging of prostitutes.

This is satire, right? Is this true?

[rpupkin]

OP you've hit on a real and well-recognized issue in BigLaw. These days the answer depends on the firm. Many of the market leaders have been distancing themselves through adding CTO (Conjugal Time Off) in addition to regular vacation time. Others have structured evening events designed to facilitate social interaction skills so associate dates are more effective. Many more, sadly, are failing to address this issue and are losing valuable associate productivity due to depression, frequent bathroom masturbation trips, and of course the engaging of prostitutes.

This is satire, right? Is this true?

It's not true, except for the depression, frequent masturbation, and engaging of prostitutes.

[Johann]

people who come in single are screwed honestly

Don't know if you guys are kidding, but honestly, from what I've seen, this seems like the case.

90% of the biglawyers who are married or in long term relationships met in college or law school.

There are some single people (even mid 30s to early 40s) and it looks like they have no legitimate options in the near future - they are probably also kind of batshit crazy though (and frankly, not good looking enough to compensate for it).

Im 100% serious. I have no idea how you'd start a relationship or get to know someone new while biglawing.

cosigning.

[84651846190]

There's no time to do anything but work and take care of yourself in biglaw (and many people have a hard time taking care of themselves).

LOL @ the idea of having even a fraction of the time necessary to court someone worth marrying in biglaw.

[whysoseriousbiglaw]

people who come in single are screwed honestly

Don't know if you guys are kidding, but honestly, from what I've seen, this seems like the case.

90% of the biglawyers who are married or in long term relationships met in college or law school.

There are some single people (even mid 30s to early 40s) and it looks like they have no legitimate options in the near future - they are probably also kind of batshit crazy though (and frankly, not good looking enough to compensate for it).

Im 100% serious. I have no idea how you'd start a relationship or get to know someone new while biglawing.

cosigning.

Not that some of the people who are single in biglaw don't deserve it....being that they are cray-cray.

[Anonymous User]

Time management, I struggle with this, but it's the skill you have to master to live a balanced life in big law. There are weeks when it's not possible. If you work 90 hours one week you're inevitably going to wind up sleeping for 18 hours on your day off, and then you're back on the horse right after.

[downinDtown]

Fixed this for ya

people who come in single are never going to get screwed honestly, period.

And for the married folks, frequency of pre-BigLaw action >>> during-BigLaw action.