M&A = THE most overrated practice group Forum

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:12 pm

dixiecupdrinking wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
DELG wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:5th year M&A associate here. This is pretty spot on. I didn't mind sucking so much dick for the first couple of years but then it really irritated me. So much micromanaging and stupid shit to deal with. Can't wait to go in house. With that said, I wouldn't have joined any other group because M&A gives best in house exit options (at least for my firm). It's been a fucking grind though.
why would you want to be in-house tho

it's the same awful work just packaged a little differently
In house is very different from everything I have heard. Less comma checking. Less dicks to suck (not every partners... Just your chain of command... So at least you can more easily prioritize whose dick to suck first rather than cramming 5 in your mouth. Last and most important, quality of life. Less weekend/night/vacation firedrills that can ruin your semblance of a life. I've billed every fucking vacation I've had, even honeymoon. I answered emails the morning of my wedding while getting ready. Fuck firm life.
Why not sack up and tell people you'd be unavailable, full stop, because you're getting married? IME the people who let work be THAT pervasive do it because they enjoy it on some level.

Folks who set boundaries were gently encouraged to leave around 2-3 years. Could I have pulled the wedding card that one time and not have it hurt my career? Probably. But, it was in my first year, layoffs were fresh, and the economy was shit. Keep telling yourself it's the associates fault though. It doesn't get you far at most firms (at least in M&A).

Desert Fox · Post by **Desert Fox** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:27 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
dixiecupdrinking wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
DELG wrote: why would you want to be in-house tho

it's the same awful work just packaged a little differently
In house is very different from everything I have heard. Less comma checking. Less dicks to suck (not every partners... Just your chain of command... So at least you can more easily prioritize whose dick to suck first rather than cramming 5 in your mouth. Last and most important, quality of life. Less weekend/night/vacation firedrills that can ruin your semblance of a life. I've billed every fucking vacation I've had, even honeymoon. I answered emails the morning of my wedding while getting ready. Fuck firm life.
Why not sack up and tell people you'd be unavailable, full stop, because you're getting married? IME the people who let work be THAT pervasive do it because they enjoy it on some level.
Folks who set boundaries were gently encouraged to leave around 2-3 years. Could I have pulled the wedding card that one time and not have it hurt my career? Probably. But, it was in my first year, layoffs were fresh, and the economy was shit. Keep telling yourself it's the associates fault though. It doesn't get you far at most firms (at least in M&A).

lol M&A blows. I told my bosses I was taking off last monday for this friday-today and nobody said shit. Day of wedding. lo fucking l.

I thought you guys are in demand.

El Pollito · Post by **El Pollito** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:29 pm

Man from Nantucket wrote:
WhirledWorld wrote: The myth: M&A lawyers call the shots.
The reality: The M&A lawyer's job is to suck dick. Junior associates learn to suck early and often, and if they can control their gag reflex (most just physically cannot suck dick continuously for more than 3-4 years), they become midlevels. Midlevels suck senior associate dick. And everyone sucks Partner dick. But only the best senior associate dick suckers -- the ones who really stroke the shaft, cup the balls -- make it to partner. Once they've scaled that mountain of dicks, they put their dick-sucking abilities to use by sucking banker dick (who have their own dick-sucking hierarchy from analyst and associate up to managing director). The very best lawyers, the cream of the crop, the rainmakers -- they get to suck CEO dick. Junior lawyers, however, are about nine degrees of dick sucking separation from the CEO.

So no, M&A lawyers don't call the shots. Hell, you might not even get to start sucking dick until a few years in, after countless hours in a data room leaves you starving and begging to suck dick while drafting some NDA and diligence requests.
What if we love dick?

No one loves it when they have to suck it.

Desert Fox · Post by **Desert Fox** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:31 pm

modz please a trigger warning for this thread.

WhirledWorld · Post by **WhirledWorld** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:35 pm

Desert Fox wrote:lol M&A blows. I told my bosses I was taking off last monday for this friday-today and nobody said shit. Day of wedding. lo fucking l.

I thought you guys are in demand.

All these dicks aren't gonna suck themselves.

El Pollito · Post by **El Pollito** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:37 pm

I'm printing and framing the dick song lyrics to hang in my office. ty op

dixiecupdrinking · Post by **dixiecupdrinking** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:47 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Folks who set boundaries were gently encouraged to leave around 2-3 years. Could I have pulled the wedding card that one time and not have it hurt my career? Probably. But, it was in my first year, layoffs were fresh, and the economy was shit. Keep telling yourself it's the associates fault though. It doesn't get you far at most firms (at least in M&A).

I'm not saying anything is anyone's "fault," but at some point you do sleep in the bed you make. Maybe M&A is just so fundamentally incompatible with having a reasonable life that you can't draw some boundaries without ruining your career, I don't know.

goden · Post by **goden** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:52 pm

man fuck law.

so what transactional practices suck the least? someone plz do a ranking. corp securities? real estate?

DELG · Post by **DELG** » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:57 pm

KM2016 wrote: We get it, you're a litigator.

if i never had to do deal work i wouldn't be so salty, obviously

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:06 am

dixiecupdrinking wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Folks who set boundaries were gently encouraged to leave around 2-3 years. Could I have pulled the wedding card that one time and not have it hurt my career? Probably. But, it was in my first year, layoffs were fresh, and the economy was shit. Keep telling yourself it's the associates fault though. It doesn't get you far at most firms (at least in M&A).
I'm not saying anything is anyone's "fault," but at some point you do sleep in the bed you make. Maybe M&A is just so fundamentally incompatible with having a reasonable life that you can't draw some boundaries without ruining your career, I don't know.

Again, it's not really sleeping in the bed you make when your job is on the line. If you have long term career goals (e.g., getting decent gig in house), you make short term sacrifices. Would I do anything different? No. Would I like the last 4 years of my life back? Of course.

Old Gregg · Post by **Old Gregg** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:12 am

By the time an M&A lawyer gets his hands on drafting part of a purchase agreement, your counterparts in debt/equity will already have negotiated entire credit agreements.

Debt commitment letters are not "entire credit agreements."

TTTooKewl · Post by **TTTooKewl** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:01 am

OP bitter about being quarterbacked by a younger M&A associate?

bjsesq · Post by **bjsesq** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:02 am

El Pollito wrote:No one loves it when they have to suck it.

Fucking preach.

PennBull · Post by **PennBull** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:15 am

goden wrote:man fuck law.

so what transactional practices suck the least? someone plz do a ranking. corp securities? real estate?

"man this real estate deal is KILLING me"

-said no one ever

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:37 am

goden wrote:man fuck law.

so what transactional practices suck the least? someone plz do a ranking. corp securities? real estate?

Securities might be worse than M&A, and "the printer" is one of the most miserable experiences you will ever have. Also: on-site diligence (basically only happens in securities these days). Finance is not so bad, though you have to learn to love signature pages as a junior, and coordinating banks' diligence is nearly as bad as doing diligence yourself. Fund formation is definitely the correct answer for lifestyle in corporate, but you are always busy when you're in the office (no TV marathons on quiet days). Real estate is a mix of finance and M&A in lifestyle, also tends to have the hours/sleep deprivation machismo problem that M&A has. Tax clearly has the best lifestyle, but it isn't for everyone, and you'll be a tax lawyer forever.

Old Gregg · Post by **Old Gregg** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:49 am

Fund formation is definitely the correct answer for lifestyle in corporate, but you are always busy when you're in the office (no TV marathons on quiet days)

How do you know this?

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:53 am

zweitbester wrote:
Fund formation is definitely the correct answer for lifestyle in corporate, but you are always busy when you're in the office (no TV marathons on quiet days)
How do you know this?

I'm a second-year associate who has worked in fund formation. Definitely the most litigation-like corporate group. (Disclaimer on the above that I have not worked in finance or real estate (or tax), but my observations are from working with others in those groups and from friends.)

baal hadad · Post by **baal hadad** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 11:55 am

zweitbester wrote:
Fund formation is definitely the correct answer for lifestyle in corporate, but you are always busy when you're in the office (no TV marathons on quiet days)
How do you know this?

Shulte first yr

Old Gregg · Post by **Old Gregg** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:08 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
zweitbester wrote:
Fund formation is definitely the correct answer for lifestyle in corporate, but you are always busy when you're in the office (no TV marathons on quiet days)
How do you know this?
I'm a second-year associate who has worked in fund formation. Definitely the most litigation-like corporate group. (Disclaimer on the above that I have not worked in finance or real estate (or tax), but my observations are from working with others in those groups and from friends.)

Can you send me a PM? Have some more questions for you. Thanks.

DELG · Post by **DELG** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:23 pm

PennBull wrote:
goden wrote:man fuck law.

so what transactional practices suck the least? someone plz do a ranking. corp securities? real estate?
"man this real estate deal is KILLING me"

-said no one ever

so so so untrue

Desert Fox · Post by **Desert Fox** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:41 pm

I saw a girl have a nervious breakdown re: her RE workload and it wasn't even DELG

FSK · Post by **FSK** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:43 pm

Poasters ITT: Would any of you go to law school again?

Desert Fox · Post by **Desert Fox** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:51 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Poasters ITT: Would any of you go to law school again?

no fucking way

dixiecupdrinking · Post by **dixiecupdrinking** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:28 pm

Probably, because I still suffer from the same lack of imagination that got me here.

bjsesq · Post by **bjsesq** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:28 pm

I was gonna say no, but with all these goddamn dicks pointing at my mouth, I'm afraid to say anything.

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