ITT We post stupid communications by headhunters Forum

[Old Gregg]

feel like this thread is long overdue. i'll start with one from "The Partners Group". It initially began as an email like this:

Hi [my name],

I hope this email finds you well. Our office specializes in assisting candidates in identifying great career opportunities. We have a new, exclusive corporate associate position with one of our favorite clients, the Atlanta office of a national firm. Kindly read through the job summary below and let me know if you are interested in learning more about this unique opportunity. Of course everything that we talk about will be confidential.

(Exclusive) Junior Corporate Associate for Atlanta Office of National Firm
One of our closest clients, the Atlanta office of a regional firm, has exclusively engaged us to fill a junior corporate associate position. The ideal candidate will have 2-4 years of general corporate experience, including M&A and other deal work. Ideal candidates will also have real estate and technology experience. Candidates must have excellent academic credentials and prior law firm experience. We are working directly with the hiring partners and expect a streamlined process. For consideration please submit your resume to jobs@partners-group.com.

Our client is very motivated to hire. If you, or someone you know, might be interested in discussing this role in further detail (or you would simply like to discuss your options), please forward your resume to me and Cristina León (cleon@partners-group.com), the senior recruiter handling this search. Please rest assured that everything discussed will be kept confidential and we will not submit you for any position without your prior approval.

Please note that we have opportunities in other regions as well, so if you or others you know might be interested in other positions, please feel free to contact me. Thank you for taking the time to consider this opportunity and for referring me on to others you might know who could possess these qualifications as well.

If you would like to be contacted at a different email address in the future, please let me know. I look forward to hearing back from you.

Best,
Deepa

note that i a work nowhere near atlanta, but somehow these guys think i would be a GREAT fit for this random firm in Atlanta. anyways, when you receive an email from a headhunter that you don't want to engage, the standard response is...

NOT TO RESPOND.

If you don't respond, that's the universal message in headhunters for "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE." anyways, a few weeks later, I get an email from the same person regarding the same posting:

Just following up here!

Again, there's nothing to follow up on here. i didn't respond, so i'm not interested. Sure enough, a few weeks after this one:

Just following up here!

*facepalm*

[20141023]

.

[patogordo]

maybe this is like how nigerian scammers intentionally make their emails shittily crafted and unbelievable to weed out savvy recipients

[hichvichwoh]

maybe this is like how nigerian scammers intentionally make their emails shittily crafted and unbelievable to weed out savvy recipients

so like, they specialize in placing dumb associates that can be fired in a year or two? ingenious!

[patogordo]

maybe this is like how nigerian scammers intentionally make their emails shittily crafted and unbelievable to weed out savvy recipients

so like, they specialize in placing dumb associates that can be fired in a year or two? ingenious!

they don't get a bonus if you make partner, bro. a fired associate is another potential commission.

[darth lulz]

maybe this is like how nigerian scammers intentionally make their emails shittily crafted and unbelievable to weed out savvy recipients

so like, they specialize in placing dumb associates that can be fired in a year or two? ingenious!

if the associates get fired right away then there are more spots for them to fill

its a great plan

[Anonymous User]

maybe this is like how nigerian scammers intentionally make their emails shittily crafted and unbelievable to weed out savvy recipients

so like, they specialize in placing dumb associates that can be fired in a year or two? ingenious!

if the associates get fired right away then there are more spots for them to fill

its a great plan

Pre recession fees were 50k per placement. Headhunter would get 25k per placement. So it's very lucrative for the head hunter if the fees are the same.

[Anonymous User]

Was just left a voicemail by Special Counsel for a position at a firm that I lateralled from. The fact that I lateralled from this firm is clearly mentioned in my web profile.

Losing my mind.

[JusticeJackson]

.

[Anonymous User]

I just don't pick up my phone anymore when it's not in-office. Between headhunters and financial planners....

[nealric]

I had one recruiter call me once a month for a solid 6 months. I talked to him once in person and politely told him I wasn't interested. He the proceeded to leave the same voicemail pleading with me to call him back every month.

FWIW, when I lateralled, I did so without a recruiter and found them more of a hindrance than a help.

[seizmaar]

how are headhunters different than car salesmen?

[patogordo]

how are headhunters different than car salesmen?

cars are worth something

[BeenDidThat]

I just don't pick up my phone anymore when it's not in-office. Between headhunters and financial planners....

*Envisions Anon. Abuser ignoring client phone call.*

[Anonymous User]

Not sure if this is a thing where anyone else practices, but in my location it is difficult to find and retain associates who are even marginally competent in the courtroom. The most cringe-inducing communications are those that come from an associate or the most junior partner at another firm who was obviously forced to draft it.

"Hi ______, it was a pleasure to meet/work with (pick one) you on the XYZ matter/trial. I appreciate that we were able to resolve/try the matter/case efficiently and cordially. If you're ever in (city), you should feel free to let me know so we can do lunch. (Reference to some inane small talk topic you discussed a time or two, like 'Go (team)' or some joke about a judge).

Warmest regards,
I Don't Want to Write this, and I Really don't Want to do Lunch"

[Desert Fox]

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