BigLaw and Long Distance Forum

[Anonymous User]

I have an offer at a litigation boutique in DC where I expect to bill ~2500 hours. My SO works at a V5 in New York doing corporate work. How feasible would it be to maintain a long distance relationship for a year or two? What would that look like? Has anyone done something similar?

The alternative would be doing BigLaw in NY, or perhaps going to a lit boutique there.

[dixiecupdrinking]

2500 hours will put a strain on a relationship even if you live together let alone doing long distance.

Frankly, and I hate to be that guy, but I can't imagine a relationship lasting that if you guys aren't serious enough to look for jobs in the same city.

[brazleton]

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[ph14]

I have an offer at a litigation boutique in DC where I expect to bill ~2500 hours. My SO works at a V5 in New York doing corporate work. How feasible would it be to maintain a long distance relationship for a year or two? What would that look like? Has anyone done something similar?

The alternative would be doing BigLaw in NY, or perhaps going to a lit boutique there.

It'll be tough. Why are you opposed to NY? Or is it that you have an offer at a top-tier DC boutique and feel like you can't pass it up?

[Anonymous User]

I have an offer at a litigation boutique in DC where I expect to bill ~2500 hours. My SO works at a V5 in New York doing corporate work. How feasible would it be to maintain a long distance relationship for a year or two? What would that look like? Has anyone done something similar?

The alternative would be doing BigLaw in NY, or perhaps going to a lit boutique there.

It'll be tough. Why are you opposed to NY? Or is it that you have an offer at a top-tier DC boutique and feel like you can't pass it up?

The latter. Also, the firm felt like a perfect fit during my interview and they do exactly the kind of work I am interested in. I have also heard some disturbing things about the BigLaw firm I would be returning to in NY, and the search for litigation boutiques in NY has been tough sledding so far.

Point taken about being committed enough to find a job in the same city as my SO, and I'm doing everything I can to find a job that I would enjoy in NY. But I'm not sure if I could justify returning to a firm that I dislike in NY and doing 2000+ hours of doc review just so that I could spend a random Thursday night every two weeks with my SO. Maybe I could, but I think that I at least have to consider the offer in DC, and that means thinking about the logistics of long distance.

[ph14]

I have an offer at a litigation boutique in DC where I expect to bill ~2500 hours. My SO works at a V5 in New York doing corporate work. How feasible would it be to maintain a long distance relationship for a year or two? What would that look like? Has anyone done something similar?

The alternative would be doing BigLaw in NY, or perhaps going to a lit boutique there.

It'll be tough. Why are you opposed to NY? Or is it that you have an offer at a top-tier DC boutique and feel like you can't pass it up?

The latter. Also, the firm felt like a perfect fit during my interview and they do exactly the kind of work I am interested in. I have also heard some disturbing things about the BigLaw firm I would be returning to in NY, and the search for litigation boutiques in NY has been tough sledding so far.

Point taken about being committed enough to find a job in the same city as my SO, and I'm doing everything I can to find a job that I would enjoy in NY. But I'm not sure if I could justify returning to a firm that I dislike in NY and doing 2000+ hours of doc review just so that I could spend a random Thursday night every two weeks with my SO. Maybe I could, but I think that I at least have to consider the offer in DC, and that means thinking about the logistics of long distance.

What boutique are we talking about? PM me, if you're comfortable. Has your significant other considered trying to transition to DC?

[dixiecupdrinking]

I have an offer at a litigation boutique in DC where I expect to bill ~2500 hours. My SO works at a V5 in New York doing corporate work. How feasible would it be to maintain a long distance relationship for a year or two? What would that look like? Has anyone done something similar?

The alternative would be doing BigLaw in NY, or perhaps going to a lit boutique there.

It'll be tough. Why are you opposed to NY? Or is it that you have an offer at a top-tier DC boutique and feel like you can't pass it up?

The latter. Also, the firm felt like a perfect fit during my interview and they do exactly the kind of work I am interested in. I have also heard some disturbing things about the BigLaw firm I would be returning to in NY, and the search for litigation boutiques in NY has been tough sledding so far.

Point taken about being committed enough to find a job in the same city as my SO, and I'm doing everything I can to find a job that I would enjoy in NY. But I'm not sure if I could justify returning to a firm that I dislike in NY and doing 2000+ hours of doc review just so that I could spend a random Thursday night every two weeks with my SO. Maybe I could, but I think that I at least have to consider the offer in DC, and that means thinking about the logistics of long distance.

I guess it depends on the particulars. If it's really 2500 hours I just don't see this coming to a happy end. Maybe you've got a good enough relationship to take it. I just can tell you that maintaining relationships in biglaw can be hard anyway, even if you live together, even if you're billing 2100 instead of 2500. I wouldn't tempt fate on this.

That said, nothing wrong with prioritizing the job over the relationship. If that's what makes you happy, by all means. I just don't think you can have it all here.

[mr.hands]

If you are expected to *bill* 2500 hours, there aren't enough hours in the day to make this realistically work. You'll never see her

[Nomo]

You'll be giving up all the positive things about being in a relationship and keeping all the negative things.

There will be no physical relationship, no face to face conversations, no shared activities. You won't have someone whose always there to give you advice or help you when you're feeling down (not even on the phone, they'll be too busy to deal with it). But you will feel guilty for not being a better SO, and you will feel resentful when they can't give you what you need. And of course you'll have the downside of not being allowed to have intimate relationships with other people (people who you could actually see on a regular basis).

[Nebby]

Separate entirely.

[jbagelboy]

This depends mostly on what types of people you are. I know this would never work in my relationship. But it seems like both of you are very high powered people who have already accepted tremendous constraints on your time. It's not like one person is living at home chilling and the other billing 2500. This is a very personal choice.

[rad lulz]

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[tfinndogm]

so my fiancé and I are not lawyers (0L here), but for what it's worth - we have been long distance for over 2 yrs now due to us being dual military. and I'm not talking NY to DC. We have been DC & TX and FL & CA. If you guys have open communication and can make a commitment to see each other at least 1-2 times a month, you can do it.

[rad lulz]

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[tfinndogm]

so my fiancé and I are not lawyers (0L here), but for what it's worth - we have been long distance for over 2 yrs now due to us being dual military. and I'm not talking NY to DC. We have been DC & TX and FL & CA. If you guys have open communication and can make a commitment to see each other at least 1-2 times a month, you can do it.

Get out of legal employment 0L

I figured my experience making a long distance relationship work while managing a stressful job situation was useful. but apparently only 1-3Ls know about long distance relationships.

[brotherdarkness]

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[toothbrush]

yessss. i wanted someone to say being in the military is easier than big law.

[brotherdarkness]

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[toothbrush]

yessss. i wanted someone to say being in the military is easier than big law.

I never said easier. I said different.

I know, but that's how it comes off. I don't necessarily disagree with you, I just knew that that comment was coming.

[tfinndogm]

yessss. i wanted someone to say being in the military is easier than big law.

I don't give a shit what job you're doing, just know OP - if you want a relationship to work bad enough, you can. multiple TDYs & a deployment and we are still going strong bc we have figured out what works for us.

[OutCold]

I think it is doable if (1) you guys have been together for a number of years already and (2) you'll be able to get together most weekends. The thing about #2, given the spontaneity of corporate work, is that you are almost always going to have to be the one to make the trip, which may or may not be feasible depending on your firm and whether you can effectively work on the road.

[09042014]

yessss. i wanted someone to say being in the military is easier than big law.

I never said easier. I said different.

I know, but that's how it comes off. I don't necessarily disagree with you, I just knew that that comment was coming.

Of course it's easier. Near retards do it by the hundreds of thousands.

[toothbrush]

Of course it's easier. Near retards do it by the hundreds of thousands.

holy shit,

[brotherdarkness]

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[brazleton]

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