Address Partner as Mr./Ms. or by First Name? Forum

reasonable troll · Post by **reasonable troll** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:03 pm

About to accept an offer. My gut says go with first name, but I'd be interested to hear concurrences/dissents. Additional detail: CA firm.

bk1 · Post by **bk1** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:05 pm

First name.

fraught · Post by **fraught** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:06 pm

I'd always go with last name until instructed to do otherwise....you can't go wrong with that. Better for him to correct you and ask you to use his first name rather than have him feel like you're being too chummy, you know?

ben4847 · Post by **ben4847** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:14 pm

Mr. Last Name Esq.

reasonable troll · Post by **reasonable troll** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:16 pm

well, that covers both sides of the debate.

additional additional detail: during both the CB and the phone call where this partner gave me the offer, considerable Giants/Dodgers smack talking occurred. i never addressed him by either his first name or Mr. X, but it seems like it might be stiff to go with last name at this point?

point about erring on the side of caution is well-taken though.

fraught · Post by **fraught** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:26 pm

reasonable troll wrote:well, that covers both sides of the debate.

additional additional detail: during both the CB and the phone call where this partner gave me the offer, considerable Giants/Dodgers smack talking occurred. i never addressed him by either his first name or Mr. X, but it seems like it might be stiff to go with last name at this point?

point about erring on the side of caution is well-taken though.

I'd also consider how old he is relative to you and what the general vibe of the firm is. If he's only 10 years older than you and it's a pretty young, relaxed place, that's different than if he's 70 and it's a white shoe firm.

HeavenWood · Post by **HeavenWood** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:28 pm

fraught wrote:
reasonable troll wrote:well, that covers both sides of the debate.

additional additional detail: during both the CB and the phone call where this partner gave me the offer, considerable Giants/Dodgers smack talking occurred. i never addressed him by either his first name or Mr. X, but it seems like it might be stiff to go with last name at this point?

point about erring on the side of caution is well-taken though.
I'd also consider how old he is relative to you and what the general vibe of the firm is. If he's only 10 years older than you and it's a pretty young, relaxed place, that's different than if he's 70 and it's a white shoe firm.

Either way, I don't think the offer will be rescinded.

Dany · Post by **Dany** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:29 pm

Seriously?

HeavenWood · Post by **HeavenWood** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:32 pm

Dany wrote:Seriously?

Eh, it's a nervous time. I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things. Then again, he is the "reasonable troll"....

Dany · Post by **Dany** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:35 pm

HeavenWood wrote:
Dany wrote:Seriously?
Eh, it's a nervous time. I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things. Then again, he is the "reasonable troll"....

Give me a break. He's accepting an offer.

HeavenWood · Post by **HeavenWood** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:36 pm

Dany wrote:
HeavenWood wrote:
Dany wrote:Seriously?
Eh, it's a nervous time. I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things. Then again, he is the "reasonable troll"....
Give me a break. He's accepting an offer.

Offers can be rescinded--not saying it would happen in a case like this, but nothing's really in the bag at this point.

Dany · Post by **Dany** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:38 pm

HeavenWood wrote:
Dany wrote:
HeavenWood wrote:
Dany wrote:Seriously?
Eh, it's a nervous time. I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things. Then again, he is the "reasonable troll"....
Give me a break. He's accepting an offer.
Offers can be rescinded--not saying it would happen in a case like this, but nothing's really in the bag at this point.

Are you trolling? No one is going to rescind an offer for calling them "John" vs. "Mr. Smith" (or vice versa).

HeavenWood · Post by **HeavenWood** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:39 pm

Dany wrote:
HeavenWood wrote:
Dany wrote:
HeavenWood wrote: Eh, it's a nervous time. I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things. Then again, he is the "reasonable troll"....
Give me a break. He's accepting an offer.
Offers can be rescinded--not saying it would happen in a case like this, but nothing's really in the bag at this point.
Are you trolling? No one is going to rescind an offer for calling them "John" vs. "Mr. Smith" (or vice versa).

I specifically said it wouldn't happen in a case like this, just that I can understand people's neuroses/worst-case scenario nightmares getting the better of them during a time like this.

OP: to paraphrase the great PennBull, sit back and have a beer.

reasonable troll · Post by **reasonable troll** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:43 pm

HeavenWood wrote:
Dany wrote:Seriously?
Eh, it's a nervous time. I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things. Then again, he is the "reasonable troll"....

yep. not trolling this time, unfortunately. just hoping not to douche it up before i even get there, ya know?

bk1 · Post by **bk1** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:51 pm

HeavenWood wrote:I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things.

I do.

reasonable troll · Post by **reasonable troll** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 3:59 pm

alright well now that this has begun to devolve into a troll hunting thread, i'm out. made the call, used first name fwiw. thanks to those who made useful contributions.

Dany · Post by **Dany** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:00 pm

reasonable troll wrote:alright well now that this has begun to devolve into a troll hunting thread, i'm out. made the call, used first name fwiw. thanks to those who made useful contributions.

You're welcome.

HeavenWood · Post by **HeavenWood** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:16 pm

bk187 wrote:
HeavenWood wrote:I don't blame people for being a little fidgety about otherwise commensensical things.
I do.

Guess you've never freaked out about a silly little thing due to nerves.

mths · Post by **mths** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:55 pm

I used last names until I actually started working at the firm where everyone used first names so I switched to that.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 5:01 pm

Full name when talking to others at the firm about that person ("I talked with Tim Sullivan and Kate Dawson [before I was brought to your office]."

Mr. or Ms. during interviews, but only if you absolutely have to refer to them by name, which you usually don't.

First name when you accept your offer and anytime afterwards.

Address Partner as Mr./Ms. or by First Name? Forum

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