asked about family/parents at an interview Forum

[Anonymous User]

I have nothing at all to hide. It was a lunch meeting. Yet I could not help thinking: another unprofessional interviewer asking personal questions under the pretext of 'getting to know you better'

[azntwice]

i'm pretty sure this kind of question is illegal -- probably trying to figure out if you have family commitments that prevent you from doing your work, but it's illegal to ask those questions in such a manner.

[nonprofit-prophet]

i'm pretty sure this kind of question is illegal -- probably trying to figure out if you have family commitments that prevent you from doing your work, but it's illegal to ask those questions in such a manner.

I used to do interviews for my old job before law school. My HR director would have a freakout if she heard half the questions I received during big law interviews. I don't think anyone is asking questions maliciously. It's just that there are so many good "ice breaker" type questions that are off limits. I've gotten the family one a few times, but it never seemed like a guise. I think most of the possible violations just stem from people trying to make small talk.

[fatduck]

well you didn't say what was asked, but asking about your family/parents is off-limits? really? you think it's off-limits for an interviewer to ask, "so i see you went to [local undergrad], did you grow up in the area? parents still live close by?" or to ask "so what got you interested in the legal field, do you come from a family of lawyers or did you become interested in other ways?"

[Anonymous User]

basically I was asked what they did/do for a living, and whether i have siblings and what they do....

[fatduck]

basically I was asked what they did/do for a living, and whether i have siblings and what they do....

that's a little awkward apropos of nothing, but not illegal, man. (i realize you didn't say it was illegal)

[LittleMM]

I got the same question recently and didn't think much of it - in mine, it really seemed like small talk, and the interviewer told me she also had three daughters (like my parents). I thought of it as just a way to connect or find common ground with me, not necessarily "get me" or see if I had any bias in favor of some other geographical location. So I did share, and we did connect on some family background.

[dingbat]

basically I was asked what they did/do for a living, and whether i have siblings and what they do....

that's a little awkward apropos of nothing, but not illegal, man. (i realize you didn't say it was illegal)

Technically it's not illegal to ask most of the questions that are big no-nos.
It's only illegal for them to base their hiring decisions on the answer.
The questions are to be avoided to preclude the answers from factoring into a decision (or HHS appearance thereof)

It's CYA - if the interviewer never asks, the interviewee can never claim bias

[fatduck]

basically I was asked what they did/do for a living, and whether i have siblings and what they do....

that's a little awkward apropos of nothing, but not illegal, man. (i realize you didn't say it was illegal)

Technically it's not illegal to ask most of the questions that are big no-nos.
It's only illegal for them to base their hiring decisions on the answer.
The questions are to be avoided to preclude the answers from factoring into a decision (or HHS appearance thereof)

It's CYA - if the interviewer never asks, the interviewee can never claim bias

discrimination based on your parents/siblings professions isn't illegal

[dingbat]

discrimination based on your parents/siblings professions isn't illegal

Forest =/= trees. Oops, my bad

[shock259]

Unless your dad is an axe murderer or something, I'm pretty sure it was just meant as small talk.

[wiseowl]

Might want to toughen up the ol' skin before OCI rolls around.

[Anonymous User]

any discrimination is bad. besides, when people ask about family, they could be fishing for information related to it, e.g. marital status.

I have my way of avoiding bringining in issues that I do not want to discuss. There was a colleague at one of my internships who always got nosy about people's background, family, income.... for some reason - probably because I never mentioned a husband - she presumed I was single. Worse still, when other people talk about marriage, she pointed to me and said 'she's still single!" even though I never told her so.

I then told her about my hubby. She was shocked. As if I had a need to disclose to her everything.

[fatduck]

any discrimination is bad. besides, when people ask about family, they could be fishing for information related to it, e.g. marital status.

"any discrimination is bad" is not the same as "any question that might possibly be used as a basis for discrimination is bad." interviews would be pretty boring if they couldn't ask you anything that wasn't on your resume.

certain types of discrimination are worse than others. that's why certain classes are protected by law. asking what your brothers and sisters are up to is not a big fucking deal.

[Anonymous User]

interviews are not supposed to be entertaining/interesting any way.

[fatduck]

interviews are not supposed to be entertaining/interesting any way.

i appreciate your input, Anonymous User.

[wiseowl]

interviews are not supposed to be entertaining/interesting any way.

Those offers will just be rolling in for ya, let me tell you.

[Anonymous User]

there is a difference between talking a bout hobbies and interests and casually mentioning one's parents, and directly asking about parents and siblings and what they do for a living.

[Pate]

I recently read on a thread that some HR people would walk you out to your car, just to see if you had a baby seat (or toys). Some display fake family pictures on their desk in hopes the candidate would comment about their own family. Point ― it all seems soooo innocent. . . but it’s a trap!!

[Anonymous User]

I was asked if I was Muslim in a 1L PI interview. My last name's pretty ethnic, so I can see why he thought that but I was surprised he asked. I said no, because I'm not. Didn't get the job. It was awkward.

[fatduck]

there is a difference between talking a bout hobbies and interests and casually mentioning one's parents, and directly asking about parents and siblings and what they do for a living.

there is about a 0.000% chance that this situation played out like:

"Hey, great to meet you, alright let's get started. So, what do your parents do?"

solid anon use, btw

[kalvano]

there is a difference between talking a bout hobbies and interests and casually mentioning one's parents, and directly asking about parents and siblings and what they do for a living.

Shining example of when to post anon.

[Anonymous User]

I am OP.
yes, the interviewer asked me right away.

[Anonymous User]

A mormon dude I interviewed with for a non-law job about a decade ago talked about how he usually only hires from BYU/BYU Idaho/other shitty mormon schools, and then pointed out that I went to a catholic school. I didn't disclose religion, so he started asking about international experience and if I did anything interesting in college (clearly trying to see if I went on a mission trip). Finally he asked about community involvement, and gave an example as church activities. I didn't get the job. Kinda funny in hindsite. I wish I could remember his name and linkedin him.

[fatduck]

I am OP.
yes, the interviewer asked me right away.

0.00% chance you're the OP