explain this to an aspie please Forum

[Anonymous User]

I'm an aspie.

Please explain how/why networking works. I have found that it does. Big time. I attended a bar event during the first few months of 1L year (last September), chatted about Tiger Woods with this guy who was into golf, shot him an email saying "Great talking to you. Perhaps we'll cross paths later." About a year later, I emailed him again before his firm attended my school for OCI. He tipped off the screener and I got a callback interview with his v50, where he conveniently was one of the callback interviewers, and where I am presently a summer associate. And he is not even a partner (senior associate).

What exactly happens here, neurologically - or whatever the effects are - for him to favor me based on a conversation he could've had with any random soul on a bus.

Is there an interesting article out there explaining this networking effect? I'm as much a stranger as any of the thousands of people who he sees in his world. Why not pick one of them based on credentials, as opposed to me based upon a meaningless conversation about golf.

I am an aspie. I repeat. I do not understand networking, but understand that it works.

[RVP11]

I'm an aspie.

Please explain how/why networking works. I have found that it does. Big time. I attended a bar event during the first few months of 1L year (last September), chatted about Tiger Woods with this guy who was into golf, shot him an email saying "Great talking to you. Perhaps we'll cross paths later." Over a year later, I emailed him again before his firm attended my school for OCI. He tipped off the screener and I got a callback interview with his v50, where he conveniently was one of the callback interviewers, and where I am presently a summer associate. And he is not even a partner (senior associate).

What exactly happens here, neurologically - or whatever the effects are - for him to favor me based on a conversation he could've had with any random soul on a bus.

Is there an interesting article out there explaining this networking effect? I'm as much a stranger as any of the thousands of people who email him. Why not pick one of them based on credentials, as opposed to me based upon a meaningless conversation about golf.

I am an aspie. I repeat. I do not understand networking, but understand that it works.

You can sometimes tell from only one conversation whether you like someone. OCI interviews work the same way. HTH.

[rayiner]

People separate other people into real people and abstract people. E.g. when they hear some random person in the city got shot, they don't feel bad. If they heard that someone they had met, even briefly, got shot, they care. The more contacts they have with that person, the more they care. If 500 Americans die in a plane crash, it's a national tragedy. If 500 Bengalis people die in a flood, it might not even make the news.

It's the brain's way of conserving its limited resources. We have only so much attention we can devote to caring about things. We prioritize what we care about based on how closely it is connected to us.

You might have just met that guy once, but you did meet him. He can visualize your face and your voice. That makes you a real person to him, as opposed to the other people at your school who are just abstractions to him.

Also, there is an altruistic angle. People like helping other people. It feels better to help people you are connected to than people who are just abstract to you. It costs your interviewer nothing to give you a little boost on your job search, and it makes him feel good. Beyond the good feeling of helping someone, it validates their position as someone with some influence, seniority, etc.

[Bigbub75]

When you emailed him a year later what did you say? "Hey we met a year ago and I have a screener set up with your?" Just curious.

[bjsesq]

If 500 Bengalis people die in a flood, it might not even make the news.

I see what you did there.

[fatduck]

When you emailed him a year later what did you say? "Hey we met a year ago and I have a screener set up with your?" Just curious.

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