PSA: don't brag about law review or job shit on facebook Forum

[thesealocust]

Don't hate. Participate or celebrate.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mudita

http://www.buddhisma2z.com/content.php?id=269

This is what we are discussing.

I don't think I've ever seen somebody get bitch-slapped with Budhism before. It feels wrong, but yet... so good.

[TheFriendlyBarber]

If you go to a school that hands out honors/high pass/pass/etc, is it alright to risk coming off as a pedo and "like" the 4-H Club's Facebook page after getting two sets of Hs?

[A'nold]

We had fucktards galore doing this at my school. Giving their exact GPA, the fact that they retained their scholarship (when others obvz hadn't), job offers during 1L oci (the two people who did this even included the weekly $ amount of the position- and they were both around median and had quite obviously received the offer through minority interview programs).

I do not get this mentality. I have friends that did much better than me in law school. A good, good friend of mine got top honors and LR. When he told me, I was genuinely happy for him. I was a little miffed that I partied too much and didn't study enough last year, but how could I ever be upset with him? If someone did well, be happy for them or don't read their FB. I just don't get it. What is it abut seeing others succeed that makes you so pissed? How can you ever make friends with people if you don't want to share in their triumphs?

Posting your transcript on FB is a little much, but if you don't like it, don't read it. Why begrudge others a little happiness? Of course, if they start putting others down or trying to make others feel bad/less, that is too far.

Sensitivity about grades is one of the things that makes it tough to be friends with people in law school. Everyone is uncomfortable sharing what they did well because of people who get pissed. On the other hand, those who did poorly are afraid to reach for fear of being judged.

Seriously 1L is ALL ABOUT GRADES. If you can't share your experiences with the people around you, you're bound to feel lonely/isolated and not make connections. Anyways, that's just my two cents.

LOOOOOOOOL. Because grade posts are about anything other than LET ME SHOW YOU HOW AWESOME I AM AND HOW I WON THIS ZERO-SUM GAME type feelings.

And? I mean why can people not be happy about their success and share it? Because others feel inadequate upon hearing about the success of others? Perhaps it is the people who feel inadequate and get angry that should change their reactions. Isn't better to be happy for others and contemplate how to improve yourself rather than try to silence those who did better so you don't have to be reminded that you didn't do as well? I look up to my friends who are successful and feel glad to be in a position to learn from them rather than be upset and try to guilt/socially punish them into being quiet about their success.

Credited. Note that the stance I am taking on this thread right now is especially hilarious b/c I suffer from being far too humble and have been told since I was a child to actually take some pride in my accomplishments. It's a hard thing to do. If you have to try not to be an arrogant douche, chances are you are an arrogant douche and that's just who you are. No one will like you regardless.

[Bronte]

Credited. Note that the stance I am taking on this thread right now is especially hilarious b/c I suffer from being far too humble and have been told since I was a child to actually take some pride in my accomplishments. It's a hard thing to do. If you have to try not to be an arrogant douche, chances are you are an arrogant douche and that's just who you are. No one will like you regardless.

I'm probably an arrogant douche, but I try very hard to only bring up my accomplishments when it's relevant and/or has potential to help the person I'm talking to, or when people directly ask. A lot of people are naturally egotistical, but it's a controllable virtue to to try really hard to STFU about it.

[Julio_El_Chavo]

And? I mean why can people not be happy about their success and share it? Because others feel inadequate upon hearing about the success of others? Perhaps it is the people who feel inadequate and get angry that should change their reactions. Isn't better to be happy for others and contemplate how to improve yourself rather than try to silence those who did better so you don't have to be reminded that you didn't do as well? I look up to my friends who are successful and feel glad to be in a position to learn from them rather than be upset and try to guilt/socially punish them into being quiet about their success.

So basically, you have a small penis. It's okay bro, just come out and say it.

[Bronte]

And? I mean why can people not be happy about their success and share it? Because others feel inadequate upon hearing about the success of others? Perhaps it is the people who feel inadequate and get angry that should change their reactions. Isn't better to be happy for others and contemplate how to improve yourself rather than try to silence those who did better so you don't have to be reminded that you didn't do as well? I look up to my friends who are successful and feel glad to be in a position to learn from them rather than be upset and try to guilt/socially punish them into being quiet about their success.

So basically, you have a small penis. It's okay bro, just come out and say it.

Let's lay off the dick talk, huh?

[Julio_El_Chavo]

And? I mean why can people not be happy about their success and share it? Because others feel inadequate upon hearing about the success of others? Perhaps it is the people who feel inadequate and get angry that should change their reactions. Isn't better to be happy for others and contemplate how to improve yourself rather than try to silence those who did better so you don't have to be reminded that you didn't do as well? I look up to my friends who are successful and feel glad to be in a position to learn from them rather than be upset and try to guilt/socially punish them into being quiet about their success.

So basically, you have a small penis. It's okay bro, just come out and say it.

Let's lay off the dick talk, huh?

This thread is all about dicks, so I don't really know why you're upset.

[A'nold]

On a completely serious note (I wrote this earlier but it apparently didn't post) I have now earned top grades at two different schools and this is a real issue at least for me. At both schools all but one of my friends was median or lower and when a group of us get together and the inevitable complaints about grades and professors come up it is extremely awkward. You are damned if you do/don't. So you have to take the middle ground and not completely lie while implying that you also got bad or mediocre grades. I say things like "yeah, that exam was BRUTAL" and stuff like that but never mention my grades. It comes up sometimes and I try to pull the whole "I did o.k." thing but sometimes friends demand more. Then I look like a douche while trying to be entirely anti-douche. Lose lose situation for students that should be able to be proud in a non-gloating way. I know you low grade peons (I feel I must clearly tell you that the peons thing is a joke so I don't get TLS lynched) have no sympathy for us but it is extremely immature for you guys to take such an attitude/stance.

[GeePee]

Credited. Note that the stance I am taking on this thread right now is especially hilarious b/c I suffer from being far too humble and have been told since I was a child to actually take some pride in my accomplishments. It's a hard thing to do. If you have to try not to be an arrogant douche, chances are you are an arrogant douche and that's just who you are. No one will like you regardless.

I'm probably an arrogant douche, but I try very hard to only bring up my accomplishments when it's relevant and/or has potential to help the person I'm talking to, or when people directly ask. A lot of people are naturally egotistical, but it's a controllable virtue to to try really hard to STFU about it.

This is sort of how I feel about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with telling individual people in confidence when you're asked. However, posting something on Facebook is different in kind-- you're telling anyone and everyone, regardless of whether they want to know or not. That's why posting something on Facebook can be considered arrogant or distasteful.

[Bronte]

On a completely serious note (I wrote this earlier but it apparently didn't post) I have now earned top grades at two different schools and this is a real issue at least for me. At both schools all but one of my friends was median or lower and when a group of us get together and the inevitable complaints about grades and professors come up it is extremely awkward. You are damned if you do/don't. So you have to take the middle ground and not completely lie while implying that you also got bad or mediocre grades. I say things like "yeah, that exam was BRUTAL" and stuff like that but never mention my grades. It comes up sometimes and I try to pull the whole "I did o.k." thing but sometimes friends demand more. Then I look like a douche while trying to be entirely anti-douche. Lose lose situation for students that should be able to be proud in a non-gloating way. I know you low grade peons (I feel I must clearly tell you that the peons thing is a joke so I don't get TLS lynched) have no sympathy for us but it is extremely immature for you guys to take such an attitude/stance.

The thread is not about people talking about grades when they come up. It's about people posting credentials on public forums. I also got good grades, and when people directly ask, I just straight up tell them my GPA. It's not arrogant to tell the truth when directly asked, and in general I prefer people to simply ask what they want to know. If people are just abstractly talking about their shitty grades, I just don't say anything. Otherwise, I don't bring it up, unless I'm offering someone advice in a context where it's warranted.

[A'nold]

On a completely serious note (I wrote this earlier but it apparently didn't post) I have now earned top grades at two different schools and this is a real issue at least for me. At both schools all but one of my friends was median or lower and when a group of us get together and the inevitable complaints about grades and professors come up it is extremely awkward. You are damned if you do/don't. So you have to take the middle ground and not completely lie while implying that you also got bad or mediocre grades. I say things like "yeah, that exam was BRUTAL" and stuff like that but never mention my grades. It comes up sometimes and I try to pull the whole "I did o.k." thing but sometimes friends demand more. Then I look like a douche while trying to be entirely anti-douche. Lose lose situation for students that should be able to be proud in a non-gloating way. I know you low grade peons (I feel I must clearly tell you that the peons thing is a joke so I don't get TLS lynched) have no sympathy for us but it is extremely immature for you guys to take such an attitude/stance.

The thread is not about people talking about grades when they come up. It's about people posting credentials on public forums. I also got good grades, and when people directly ask, I just straight up tell them my GPA. It's not arrogant to tell the truth when directly asked, and in general I prefer people to simply ask what they want to know. If people are just abstractly talking about their shitty grades, I just don't say anything. Otherwise, I don't bring it up, unless I'm offering someone advice in a context where it's warranted.

I can see how posting "OMGZ I am in the top 5%! $$$$$$!!!!!!!" would be way over the top. But someone posting, "Ahhh! Oh my gosh, I just made LR. I could die I'm so excited!" or something like that would not bother me in the least. People should wholeheartedly congratulate that person, especially if they are a nice person otherwise. It is sincere and a very exciting moment in her life and she deserves congrats, not jealous, bitter resentment.

[TheFriendlyBarber]

On a completely serious note (I wrote this earlier but it apparently didn't post) I have now earned top grades at two different schools and this is a real issue at least for me. At both schools all but one of my friends was median or lower and when a group of us get together and the inevitable complaints about grades and professors come up it is extremely awkward. You are damned if you do/don't. So you have to take the middle ground and not completely lie while implying that you also got bad or mediocre grades. I say things like "yeah, that exam was BRUTAL" and stuff like that but never mention my grades. It comes up sometimes and I try to pull the whole "I did o.k." thing but sometimes friends demand more. Then I look like a douche while trying to be entirely anti-douche. Lose lose situation for students that should be able to be proud in a non-gloating way. I know you low grade peons (I feel I must clearly tell you that the peons thing is a joke so I don't get TLS lynched) have no sympathy for us but it is extremely immature for you guys to take such an attitude/stance.

The thread is not about people talking about grades when they come up. It's about people posting credentials on public forums. I also got good grades, and when people directly ask, I just straight up tell them my GPA. It's not arrogant to tell the truth when directly asked, and in general I prefer people to simply ask what they want to know. If people are just abstractly talking about their shitty grades, I just don't say anything. Otherwise, I don't bring it up, unless I'm offering someone advice in a context where it's warranted.

I can see how posting "OMGZ I am in the top 5%! $$$$$$!!!!!!!" would be way over the top. But someone posting, "Ahhh! Oh my gosh, I just made LR. I could die I'm so excited!" or something like that would not bother me in the least. People should wholeheartedly congratulate that person, especially if they are a nice person otherwise. It is sincere and a very exciting moment in her life and she deserves congrats, not jealous, bitter resentment.

No. I don't care how nice you are, you STFU.

[Anonymous User]

Somebody at my school posted a picture of Elle Woods to celebrate making law review. I thought it was pretty tacky. Anybody who wants to know who is on law review will check your school's website.

[Bronte]

I can see how posting "OMGZ I am in the top 5%! $$$$$$!!!!!!!" would be way over the top. But someone posting, "Ahhh! Oh my gosh, I just made LR. I could die I'm so excited!" or something like that would not bother me in the least. People should wholeheartedly congratulate that person, especially if they are a nice person otherwise. It is sincere and a very exciting moment in her life and she deserves congrats, not jealous, bitter resentment.

I think IRL people do simply congratulate the person. For the most part, angry posters on TLS are puppies in real life. However, part of the purpose of anonymous forums like this one is for people to vent their frustration in a way that they can't in public life. Overall, it's better not to post "OMG I just [achieved something that makes it much more likely that I'll pay off my debt than you]" on a public forum. If I saw it, I wouldn't give a damn. But people are just venting.

[A'nold]

I can see how posting "OMGZ I am in the top 5%! $$$$$$!!!!!!!" would be way over the top. But someone posting, "Ahhh! Oh my gosh, I just made LR. I could die I'm so excited!" or something like that would not bother me in the least. People should wholeheartedly congratulate that person, especially if they are a nice person otherwise. It is sincere and a very exciting moment in her life and she deserves congrats, not jealous, bitter resentment.

I think IRL people do simply congratulate the person. For the most part, angry posters on TLS are puppies in real life. However, part of the purpose of anonymous forums like this one is for people to vent their frustration in a way that they can't in public life. Overall, it's better not to post "OMG I just [achieved something that makes it much more likely that I'll pay off my debt than you]" on a public forum. If I saw it, I wouldn't give a damn. But people are just venting.

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it! Someone I like could post a brag online and it wouldn't bother me and someone that I despise for prior arrogant douchiness could post something passively and it would get under my skin. I really think it should depend on the person. Just drop your own insecure jealousies and be happy for the nice guy/girl who worked his/her butt off and is succeeding. So what if you also worked your butt off. I think the real douches are the ones that would be offended by someone like Opera Soprano posting on FB that she made law review b/c they are not living up to their own dreams/expectations.

[bk1]

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it!

Are you being sarcastic? Why does your wife need or even want to post about you on fb.com?

[Bronte]

I think IRL people do simply congratulate the person. For the most part, angry posters on TLS are puppies in real life. However, part of the purpose of anonymous forums like this one is for people to vent their frustration in a way that they can't in public life. Overall, it's better not to post "OMG I just [achieved something that makes it much more likely that I'll pay off my debt than you]" on a public forum. If I saw it, I wouldn't give a damn. But people are just venting.

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it! Someone I like could post a brag online and it wouldn't bother me and someone that I despise for prior arrogant douchiness could post something passively and it would get under my skin. I really think it should depend on the person. Just drop your own insecure jealousies and be happy for the nice guy/girl who worked his/her butt off and is succeeding. So what if you also worked your butt off. I think the real douches are the ones that would be offended by someone like Opera Soprano posting on FB that she made law review b/c they are not living up to their own dreams/expectations.

Lol at calling out OS for being the type that would post that on FB. But I'm with you man. I don't care what people post on FB. I understand why people do though.

[Julio_El_Chavo]

The thing about seeking approval from others is that it never ends. It will never be enough, even after you make partner at a big firm, becoming managing partner, blah blah... the bragging just carries over to what your KIDS do (hence the "my kid was honor roll at _______" bumper stickers).

Once you realize that most people really don't give a fuck about you or your accomplishments, I think you gain a little maturity and perspective that many people never find.

[A'nold]

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it!

Are you being sarcastic? Why does your wife need or even want to post about you on fb.com?

Are you serious? Um, maybe we have over a hundred family members and friends in common and my wife *gasp* likes to, you know, express how proud she is of her spouse to all of our friends and family? Your response completely came out of left field for me man.....

[Julio_El_Chavo]

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it!

Are you being sarcastic? Why does your wife need or even want to post about you on fb.com?

Are you serious? Um, maybe we have over a hundred family members and friends in common and my wife *gasp* likes to, you know, express how proud she is of her spouse to all of our friends and family? Your response completely came out of left field for me man.....

Why does she like to express how proud she is of her spouse?

[Bronte]

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it!

Are you being sarcastic? Why does your wife need or even want to post about you on fb.com?

Are you serious? Um, maybe we have over a hundred family members and friends in common and my wife *gasp* likes to, you know, express how proud she is of her spouse to all of our friends and family? Your response completely came out of left field for me man.....

Why does she like to express how proud she is of her spouse?

Why do you give a shit?

[Julio_El_Chavo]

Are you being sarcastic? Why does your wife need or even want to post about you on fb.com?

Are you serious? Um, maybe we have over a hundred family members and friends in common and my wife *gasp* likes to, you know, express how proud she is of her spouse to all of our friends and family? Your response completely came out of left field for me man.....

Why does she like to express how proud she is of her spouse?

Why do you give a shit?

Why do you give a shit that I give a shit?

[bk1]

Are you serious? Um, maybe we have over a hundred family members and friends in common and my wife *gasp* likes to, you know, express how proud she is of her spouse to all of our friends and family? Your response completely came out of left field for me man.....

Maybe I'm just an old fogey about it but I find all the announcing of everything over fb.com to be extremely tacky (in a similar vein to bumper stickers saying your kid is on the honor roll). I just don't get the need for everybody in the world to know everything. If I'm proud of my SO or my friend about something, I tell them I don't tell the world. If they want the world to know then that's their decision, not mine. I basically just don't get fb.com. Why do people need or even want all their communications with other people to be public?

But I'm an outlier. Most people enjoy posting stupid tacky crap all over fb.com and tweeting inane shit that the world could not give two fucks about.

[03121202698008]

I don't get why journals shouldn't be posted. It's public information. It's not like grades which remain secret.

I don't get why you can't be bummed about not making it while feeling happy for someone that did.

Actually, at the school I'm currently at our Journal/Review results were posted--I think it sucks, but I may have felt differently if I had in fact ended up on Law Review.

I actually didn't realize that at some schools it is anon.. now the OP makes more sense to me...

I think it's anonymous at most schools, or at least most top schools where they're obsessed with obscuring credentials, but it doesn't stay anonymous for long.

It can't possibly be anonymous because your name goes on the masthead. They may not post a list of people that made it at the time, but people will eventually know unlike your grades.

[Anonymous User]

It pisses me off that even my wife can't post about an award I just got or something like that b/c oh noes! someone at my school might see it! Someone I like could post a brag online and it wouldn't bother me and someone that I despise for prior arrogant douchiness could post something passively and it would get under my skin. I really think it should depend on the person.

I think I mostly agree it should depend on the person. I do think that people are waaaay more forgiving of someone bragging a little if they are otherwise a nice person (especially if someone else posts on their wall, thats not so bad). The problem is, the definition of who is nice in law school is partly based on pulling stunts like that. So if I've had two conversations with you and you post your grades on FB yourself, without any explanation or reason, I'm going to assume you are a dick. See below as to why.

A lot of people defending this practice have claimed its about telling family. While its possible that someone posting their grades or LR did that just to tell all their relatives (even though an email, text message, phone call, or even FB message would have accomplished the same thing privately), the odds seem high that the person did it to be a dick and tell everyone at school (otherwise, why choose this one completely public way to communicate?). We all know grandma isn't getting on FB and checking YOUR wall often, so you really had to do this in order to tell....your siblings and cousins who are on FB? Anyone claiming they are doing this to tell their family may be part of the group who legitimately did - I won't try to judge whether that's accurate or not. I'm just saying that people outside the family who look at the situation know that that's a somewhat flimsy excuse, and many will probably assume that one posted their grades or whatever just to tell everyone at LS. So I guess if you are really doing this kind of stuff to communicate with family, I would just warn that most people will assume that's not the case, even if it is. Maybe that means choosing another way to get your message out...including all the ways mentioned above that are just as easy.