etiquette for declining offers Forum

tkorms · Post by **tkorms** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:04 am

Is there an industry custom for this sort of thing? Is a nice email to your main contact at the firm ok or is a phone call required?

edcrane · Post by **edcrane** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:53 am

Phone call + email.

MrKappus · Post by **MrKappus** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:54 am

edcrane wrote:Phone call + email.

I hope this means "phone or email is acceptable," b/c if you both call and email a firm, they will think you are an idiot.

topsome · Post by **topsome** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:55 am

i thought it was the best to do both

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:56 am

I'm also curious about this. Am I supposed to call the HR Dept or the person that extended me the offer?

MrKappus · Post by **MrKappus** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:59 am

Sorry, perhaps I misunderstood. I could see calling the hiring partner (or whoever extended the offer), then sending a follow-up to the recruiting contact. I initially thought the person above meant calling and emailing the same person, which would be kind of silly.

270910 · Post by **270910** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:04 am

If you leave a message, following up with an email makes sense - especially since it creates a trail in case signals get crossed. There's a lot of communication and stress and deadlines this time of year.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:06 am

disco_barred wrote:If you leave a message, following up with an email makes sense - especially since it creates a trail in case signals get crossed. There's a lot of communication and stress and deadlines this time of year.

E-mail recruiting and contact the person who made the offer??? What if recruiting made the offer?

270910 · Post by **270910** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:08 am

Anonymous User wrote:
disco_barred wrote:If you leave a message, following up with an email makes sense - especially since it creates a trail in case signals get crossed. There's a lot of communication and stress and deadlines this time of year.

E-mail recruiting and contact the person who made the offer??? What if recruiting made the offer?

I'm just not even going to respond. If you really can't figure how to turn down a fucking offer on your own, then may God have mercy on your soul.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:11 am

disco_barred wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
disco_barred wrote:If you leave a message, following up with an email makes sense - especially since it creates a trail in case signals get crossed. There's a lot of communication and stress and deadlines this time of year.

E-mail recruiting and contact the person who made the offer??? What if recruiting made the offer?
I'm just not even going to respond. If you really can't figure how to turn down a fucking offer on your own, then may God have mercy on your soul.

Gee, thanks.

270910 · Post by **270910** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:15 am

Anonymous User wrote:
disco_barred wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:
disco_barred wrote:If you leave a message, following up with an email makes sense - especially since it creates a trail in case signals get crossed. There's a lot of communication and stress and deadlines this time of year.

E-mail recruiting and contact the person who made the offer??? What if recruiting made the offer?
I'm just not even going to respond. If you really can't figure how to turn down a fucking offer on your own, then may God have mercy on your soul.

Gee, thanks.

Any time

*tips hat*

Unemployed · Post by **Unemployed** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 1:27 am

Declining an offer via phone call is rather unpleasant because you are saying no to a firm that was nice enough to give you an offer. This is especially tough if you really connected with the people. Don't psyche yourself out, though. They will get plenty of great people and won't take it personally.

FWIW, they weren't so nice to dozens (sometimes hundreds) of your classmates.

BendAndSnap · Post by **BendAndSnap** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:48 am

I called and broke up with four firms today. Actually had great chats with all four and I'm going out for drinks with two of them in the next week. I called the recruiting department first and said that I would like to respectfully decline my offer. They usually thank you for calling promptly, and ask where you're going instead, and you tell them and add a little note about why that is obvious (ie, you're interested in leveraged finance and the firm you're calling knows that they suck at that - they cant fault you for it). Then, I would call the on-campus interviewer as well to let them know personally since I usually had formed a relationship with them (don't burn bridges by being timid). They usually say good luck and thanks so much for letting us know as soon as you knew, and will ask where you're going. You say how much you liked their firm but ultimately you had to go with your gut that said Firm X. They say thanks again and goodbye. Much more personal than an email, and I would absolutely feel comfortable calling any of them if I needed to lateral in a few years.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 8:22 am

What do you say if you don't know where you're headed yet?

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:17 am

Anonymous User wrote:What do you say if you don't know where you're headed yet?

+1. I have three to turn down but I haven't decided between two others and haven't heard back from some. Is it bad just to pick the most likely one and tell them that?

spondee · Post by **spondee** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:24 am

Anonymous User wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:What do you say if you don't know where you're headed yet?
+1. I have three to turn down but I haven't decided between two others and haven't heard back from some. Is it bad just to pick the most likely one and tell them that?

I'd tell the truth. If you've narrowed it down to two choices, and they're not one of them, they'll still appreciate knowing as soon as possible. And they understand how the process works.

irlandesa419 · Post by **irlandesa419** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:39 am

Phone calls are the right way to go.

Also, please get on it so the rest of us can get offers!

yellowjacket2012 · Post by **yellowjacket2012** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 11:50 am

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:12 pm

What if you formed relationships with more than one person? Call each person?

yellowjacket2012 · Post by **yellowjacket2012** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:17 pm

The main point I was making is - use whatever interpersonal skills got you the job, make your responses proportionate to the level of bond you think you share with a partner, nobody on this website will be able to give you proper interpersonal relationship guidance because this is totally a personal discretional decision - you're the only person who knows best.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:24 pm

Efficiency: Just cc the recruiters on an acceptance email to the firm you choose. And don't bcc, you want everyone to know who you turned down for whom.

Honestly though, man up and call. I'd only send an email if it was a recruiter who gave the offer.

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:27 pm

Yeah, I should probably call. Sigh. So awkward.

MrKappus · Post by **MrKappus** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:30 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Efficiency: Just cc the recruiters on an acceptance email to the firm you choose. And don't bcc, you want everyone to know who you turned down for whom.

This is a joke, right?

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:36 pm

MrKappus wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Efficiency: Just cc the recruiters on an acceptance email to the firm you choose. And don't bcc, you want everyone to know who you turned down for whom.
This is a joke, right?

Very much so.

War Cardinal · Post by **War Cardinal** » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:58 pm

Anonymous User wrote:
MrKappus wrote:
Anonymous User wrote:Efficiency: Just cc the recruiters on an acceptance email to the firm you choose. And don't bcc, you want everyone to know who you turned down for whom.
This is a joke, right?
Very much so.

Oh you've got to be f-ing me. NOW you say it's a joke?! NOW?!?!?!? NOW!!!!! After I took your shitty ass advice??!?!?!?

FML.

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