How does everyone feel about mandatory staff bonus contributions? Forum

[Anonymous User]

I would love the experience of people who have worked in different industries. In my prior work, a $600 "gift" would be absolutely bananas, and even my family members who work for large companies as managers/executives making $400k+ give their secretaries holiday gifts in the range of $50-150. Maybe bonuses are different for them.

This is in no way suggesting that $600 is too high or that I would be unwilling to pay that; I am simply wondering whether it is standard across industries or whether biglaw secretaries are comparatively underpaid or something.

[Anonymous User]

What do others' secretaries actually do for you that justifies $100x class year, or any amount at all?

My secretary inputs my diaries daily. She does not do anything else all year.

-Fifth year in capmkts who will probably still end up doing $100xclass year per custom

[Anonymous User]

Just curious - to the people complaining in this thread, you all keep using the $600 figure and then stamping your feet about it. It’s not $600 or $0. This isn’t deal or no deal. Do you at least give like $200 or some other amount that you find reasonable?

Separate question, does no one give to charity anymore? If all of these high earners aren’t chipping in to charity at all, then who is?

I see none of the people protesting bonuses responded to this. So all the spouting on and on about a $600 bonus is a distraction. The complainers in this thread just don’t want to pay any holiday bonus to secretaries at all full stop

[Anonymous User]

I gave my secretary $600 last year and she has done a fucking terrible job this year. The most glaring thing she did was send an email blaming me for her fuck up on a document, and adding the main partner I work for in the cc line. She also missed so much work this year that everyone she works for assumes she’s interviewing elsewhere. This year I gave her $200. I’m sure she’ll be pissed but whatever. One mistake doesn’t require another.

[thisismytlsuername]

What do others' secretaries actually do for you that justifies $100x class year, or any amount at all?

My secretary inputs my diaries daily. She does not do anything else all year.

-Fifth year in capmkts who will probably still end up doing $100xclass year per custom

"My secretary does an hour of tedious work that I don't want to do every single day and *NOTHING* else, why should I give her a single penny of the $500k I'll make this year?!@?!"

[Anonymous User]

What do others' secretaries actually do for you that justifies $100x class year, or any amount at all?

My secretary inputs my diaries daily. She does not do anything else all year.

-Fifth year in capmkts who will probably still end up doing $100xclass year per custom

"My secretary does an hour of tedious work that I don't want to do every single day and *NOTHING* else, why should I give her a single penny of the $500k I'll make this year?!@?!"

This, but unironically.

[jotarokujo]

my understanding is that staff is better paid in other industries like tech, at least relative to their qualifications

[Anonymous User]

Big "why should I tip the waiter/bartender/etc., the restaurant should pay them more" energy in this thread.

I completely agree that the admin assistant "gifts" are stupid. My admin also does very little. (I've never really even understood how to effectively have an admin do time entry for me, because I have to compile the information to enable that anyway, at which point it's almost faster for me to just do it myself.) I've given more in "gifts" to my admin than I have to my spouse over my biglaw career (we're a generally frugal family and admin assistant "gifts" are one of my largest annual budget items). Nevertheless, It's expected. Just do it. No one on this thread is hurting for money and it doesn't pay to be seen as the cheapskate associate hoarding his or her cash.

[Anonymous User]

What do others' secretaries actually do for you that justifies $100x class year, or any amount at all?

My secretary inputs my diaries daily. She does not do anything else all year.

-Fifth year in capmkts who will probably still end up doing $100xclass year per custom

"My secretary does an hour of tedious work that I don't want to do every single day and *NOTHING* else, why should I give her a single penny of the $500k I'll make this year?!@?!"

When I input my diaries, it takes no longer than five minutes per day. I know for a fact that it does not take her any longer, nor it shouldn't.

[Anonymous User]

Lots of bootlickers in this thread demanding higher earning wage slaves pay lower earning wage slaves money instead of the equityholders who are exploiting the labor of both classes of wage slaves to the tune of millions of dollars a year.

This argument, popping up all over the thread, strikes me as an attempt for the cheapskates to try to claim the high road - when in reality, everyone with a brain understands that an associate keeping $500 in her pocket does nothing to achieve this goal, and people on both sides of this “shitty person/respectful member of society” debate would agree that the partnership should shoulder this burden. It’s a pretty weak deflection.

[Anonymous User]

Just curious - to the people complaining in this thread, you all keep using the $600 figure and then stamping your feet about it. It’s not $600 or $0. This isn’t deal or no deal. Do you at least give like $200 or some other amount that you find reasonable?

Separate question, does no one give to charity anymore? If all of these high earners aren’t chipping in to charity at all, then who is?

I see none of the people protesting bonuses responded to this. So all the spouting on and on about a $600 bonus is a distraction. The complainers in this thread just don’t want to pay any holiday bonus to secretaries at all full stop

You can also flip this around - why stop at 600? Your bonus is 100k, your secretary deserves at least 10k. What are you, cheap? It's just a banana how much can it cost.

I can't speak for anyone else but personally what irks me is that firms are too cheap to give staff bonuses and it then falls on other employees to pay what should be part of salary. Not being thrilled to pay something that shouldn't be my responsibility isn't being cheap.

And yes, I do give charity.

[Anonymous User]

My argument is simply I have no relationship to "my" secretary (shared with 12 other people) such that giving a $$$ gift would be super weird in every other context, other than due to this historical obligation.

[Anonymous User]

My argument is simply I have no relationship to "my" secretary (shared with 12 other people) such that giving a $$$ gift would be super weird in every other context, other than due to this historical obligation.

Your argument is asinine and reflects your personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection.

All of this shit is just deflection from the basic fact that it costs you comparatively nothing to show your secretary some decency and adhere to an established protocol in the industry, and howling about how this should come out of the partnership rather than employees isn't going to change the fact that if you don't pony up, your secretary is going to get screwed.

If you believe in your principles, give your secretary a call, tell them why you're stiffing them and suggest that they take up the issue for bonuses with HR. Should do the same with the waitstaff at the next restaurant you eat at.

[Anonymous User]

My argument is simply I have no relationship to "my" secretary (shared with 12 other people) such that giving a $$$ gift would be super weird in every other context, other than due to this historical obligation.

Your argument is asinine and reflects your personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection.

All of this shit is just deflection from the basic fact that it costs you comparatively nothing to show your secretary some decency and adhere to an established protocol in the industry, and howling about how this should come out of the partnership rather than employees isn't going to change the fact that if you don't pony up, your secretary is going to get screwed.

If you believe in your principles, give your secretary a call, tell them why you're stiffing them and suggest that they take up the issue for bonuses with HR. Should do the same with the waitstaff at the next restaurant you eat at.

I don’t know if expressing frustration at partnership cost shifting efforts necessarily reflects reflects a personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection. Otherwise this is great advice, which I already follow with waitstaff. I usually leave a couple of cents just to show my disdain for the tipping system.

[Anonymous User]

1. I’m way too old to cater to the expectations of others.

2. I’m not paid an obscene amount. I spent the better part of my 20s earning the degrees I need to do this job, while incurring 200k+ in debt. I regularly give up my free time, weekends, time with my family, vacations, and my health for this job. firms don’t pay those special bonuses out of the kindness of their hearts. It is our compensation for putting up with the shit we do. I am paid exactly what I deserve. Not a cent more and not a scent less.

3. While secretaries are paid way less, they also pay less in taxes. Some of them get $$ from the government for their kids. I do not. Do they deserve more? Sure, but make that come from the partners, not from the minute amount they trickle down to us.

4. I am cheap. I have never given more than a $500 gift and I’m not going to start now.

Mandatory tips and bonuses are BS.

[Anonymous User]

My argument is simply I have no relationship to "my" secretary (shared with 12 other people) such that giving a $$$ gift would be super weird in every other context, other than due to this historical obligation.

Your argument is asinine and reflects your personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection.

All of this shit is just deflection from the basic fact that it costs you comparatively nothing to show your secretary some decency and adhere to an established protocol in the industry, and howling about how this should come out of the partnership rather than employees isn't going to change the fact that if you don't pony up, your secretary is going to get screwed.

If you believe in your principles, give your secretary a call, tell them why you're stiffing them and suggest that they take up the issue for bonuses with HR. Should do the same with the waitstaff at the next restaurant you eat at.

I don’t know if expressing frustration at partnership cost shifting efforts necessarily reflects reflects a personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection. Otherwise this is great advice, which I already follow with waitstaff. I usually leave a couple of cents just to show my disdain for the tipping system.

Cool story bro. Top-notch disdain display.

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty obvious who never had a non law job. Poster above obviously meant that in a normal industry giving a secretary a large cash gift would be really weird and suspicious, like people would think that you're sleeping with her

[Anonymous User]

One of our group partners today was literally talking about all the luxury cars he owns. I'll pass on the staff bonuses. Partners can pay.

[Anonymous User]

One of our group partners today was literally talking about all the luxury cars he owns. I'll pass on the staff bonuses. Partners can pay.

“Partner X sure is an asshole. I’ll screw over Secretary Y. That’ll teach him!”

[Anonymous User]

My argument is simply I have no relationship to "my" secretary (shared with 12 other people) such that giving a $$$ gift would be super weird in every other context, other than due to this historical obligation.

Your argument is asinine and reflects your personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection.

All of this shit is just deflection from the basic fact that it costs you comparatively nothing to show your secretary some decency and adhere to an established protocol in the industry, and howling about how this should come out of the partnership rather than employees isn't going to change the fact that if you don't pony up, your secretary is going to get screwed.

If you believe in your principles, give your secretary a call, tell them why you're stiffing them and suggest that they take up the issue for bonuses with HR. Should do the same with the waitstaff at the next restaurant you eat at.

If paying someone I marginally interact with $500 is "basic human interaction" then I'm not interested and we can both keep to ourselves

[nixy]

It's pretty obvious who never had a non law job. Poster above obviously meant that in a normal industry giving a secretary a large cash gift would be really weird and suspicious, like people would think that you're sleeping with her

Pretty much all of biglaw’s compensation scheme would be weird in a normal industry, though.

[Anonymous User]

It's pretty obvious who never had a non law job. Poster above obviously meant that in a normal industry giving a secretary a large cash gift would be really weird and suspicious, like people would think that you're sleeping with her

Pretty much all of biglaw’s compensation scheme would be weird in a normal industry, though.

Pretty much everything biglaw would be weird in a normal industry!

[Anonymous User]

My argument is simply I have no relationship to "my" secretary (shared with 12 other people) such that giving a $$$ gift would be super weird in every other context, other than due to this historical obligation.

Your argument is asinine and reflects your personal inability to reach out and make a basic human connection.

All of this shit is just deflection from the basic fact that it costs you comparatively nothing to show your secretary some decency and adhere to an established protocol in the industry, and howling about how this should come out of the partnership rather than employees isn't going to change the fact that if you don't pony up, your secretary is going to get screwed.

If you believe in your principles, give your secretary a call, tell them why you're stiffing them and suggest that they take up the issue for bonuses with HR. Should do the same with the waitstaff at the next restaurant you eat at.

If paying someone I marginally interact with $500 is "basic human interaction" then I'm not interested and we can both keep to ourselves

Did you mean to type out a lsat study bible "wrong answer" example or is it just second nature to you?

[Sackboy]

Lots of bootlickers in this thread demanding higher earning wage slaves pay lower earning wage slaves money instead of the equityholders who are exploiting the labor of both classes of wage slaves to the tune of millions of dollars a year.

This argument, popping up all over the thread, strikes me as an attempt for the cheapskates to try to claim the high road - when in reality, everyone with a brain understands that an associate keeping $500 in her pocket does nothing to achieve this goal, and people on both sides of this “shitty person/respectful member of society” debate would agree that the partnership should shoulder this burden. It’s a pretty weak deflection.

Boot must taste delicious. Stop carrying water for the business owners. It is their job to compensate their workers. Full stop. If you want to get your secretary or paralegal a holiday gift (I gave each of mine $100), that's fine. But, the expectation to pay them $500+ bonuses is on the partnership. You're complaining that this is a weak deflection while running interference for equity partners driving $80,000 cars. Bravo. Everyone complaining it's only X% of associate income should feel free to ballpark what % it is of partnership income.

[thisismytlsuername]

Why is every anti-bonus cheapskate acting like the partners (whether through the firm or individually) don't also give staff bonuses? They do every place I've ever worked, and when it's done individually, in much larger amounts than we're talking here. It's not an either/or thing. Both partners and associates should be giving bonuses to the lower-paid workers who do their grunt work.