Secretary Christmas Gift Forum

[QContinuum]

I barely use mine but got her a $50.00 gift certificate to a department store. I will expense the gift from my 2020 marketing budget.

Doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? And wouldn't your secretary, the recipient of the $50 gift certificate, end up being responsible for expensing her own gift?

[sparty99]

I barely use mine but got her a $50.00 gift certificate to a department store. I will expense the gift from my 2020 marketing budget.

Doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? And wouldn't your secretary, the recipient of the $50 gift certificate, end up being responsible for expensing her own gift?

I can complete my own expense report. The marketing budget was given for me to use. I am using it.

[JusticeSquee]

I barely use mine but got her a $50.00 gift certificate to a department store. I will expense the gift from my 2020 marketing budget.

Doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? And wouldn't your secretary, the recipient of the $50 gift certificate, end up being responsible for expensing her own gift?

I can complete my own expense report. The marketing budget was given for me to use. I am using it.

Hahaha you are just dead set on doing this weird/shitty thing huh.

[QContinuum]

Doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? And wouldn't your secretary, the recipient of the $50 gift certificate, end up being responsible for expensing her own gift?

I can complete my own expense report. The marketing budget was given for me to use. I am using it.

The question was, doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? Asserting that the "marketing budget was given for you to use" is nonresponsive to that question.

I'd add that even if the marketing budget doesn't require a specific rationale for each expenditure, isn't there a requirement, even if implicit, that it actually be used for, y'know, marketing? Buying a gift for one's secretary - a fellow firm employee - does not even come close to being remotely related to "marketing".

I'm not trying to attack you here, sparty. I'd just hate for you to end up in hot water over misuse of your marketing budget. While not legal advice to you, based on the limited facts given, there appear to be, at least in theory, potential firm policy implications as well as potential state/federal tax law implications (e.g., presumably the marketing budget isn't considered taxable income to you, as any money spent from that budget on marketing would be reimbursed business expenditures; but using money from said budget to purchase a personal gift, regardless of whether firm policy permits such usage, would potentially render that money taxable income to you).

[sparty99]

Doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? And wouldn't your secretary, the recipient of the $50 gift certificate, end up being responsible for expensing her own gift?

I can complete my own expense report. The marketing budget was given for me to use. I am using it.

The question was, doesn't the marketing budget require some rationale for each expenditure? Asserting that the "marketing budget was given for you to use" is nonresponsive to that question.

I'd add that even if the marketing budget doesn't require a specific rationale for each expenditure, isn't there a requirement, even if implicit, that it actually be used for, y'know, marketing? Buying a gift for one's secretary - a fellow firm employee - does not even come close to being remotely related to "marketing".

I'm not trying to attack you here, sparty. I'd just hate for you to end up in hot water over misuse of your marketing budget. While not legal advice to you, based on the limited facts given, there appear to be, at least in theory, potential firm policy implications as well as potential state/federal tax law implications (e.g., presumably the marketing budget isn't considered taxable income to you, as any money spent from that budget on marketing would be reimbursed business expenditures; but using money from said budget to purchase a personal gift, regardless of whether firm policy permits such usage, would potentially render that money taxable income to you).

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

[The Lsat Airbender]

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

quoting this for posterity

Imagine being such a skinflint that you buy gifts with embezzled money and STILL lowball the amount

Maybe you could afford to give normal gifts if you weren't missing out on 401(k) savings

[Pennoyer v. Meh]

"Internal client", meaning a secretary? That cannot possibly be a thing.

[sparty99]

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

quoting this for posterity

Imagine being such a skinflint that you buy gifts with embezzled money and STILL lowball the amount

Maybe you could afford to give normal gifts if you weren't missing out on 401(k) savings

Maybe you can stop being so obsessed with me.

[QContinuum]

"Internal client", meaning a secretary? That cannot possibly be a thing.

And if the secretary was actually sparty's "client", wouldn't that make him sparty's boss?? After all, lawyers work for their clients, not the other way around.

[cavalier1138]

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

Are there no prisons? And the union workhouses. Are they still in operation?

No, but seriously: What you're doing is borderline fraud, not just general assholery. Your firm has specific terms for using the marketing budget, and I'm 100% sure they would not be thrilled to find out what you're expensing.

[papermateflair]

I just...are we being trolled? A $50 gift for your assistant should not be paid from your marketing budget. Even if you want to argue your assistant is an "internal client" (bizarre), literally no one at your firm is going to be happy if they find out this is what you're using it for (summer associates are different, because there's still a recruiting aspect to it). Pay the $50 out of your own pocket, and if you can't afford to do that on a big law salary, just imagine how much harder it will be to pay your bills with NO salary if people find out this is what you've used your marketing budget on.

[sparty99]

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

Are there no prisons? And the union workhouses. Are they still in operation?

No, but seriously: What you're doing is borderline fraud, not just general assholery. Your firm has specific terms for using the marketing budget, and I'm 100% sure they would not be thrilled to find out what you're expensing.

There are no specific marketing budget rules. I can take myself and only myself to Grammercy and expense that.

[cavalier1138]

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

Are there no prisons? And the union workhouses. Are they still in operation?

No, but seriously: What you're doing is borderline fraud, not just general assholery. Your firm has specific terms for using the marketing budget, and I'm 100% sure they would not be thrilled to find out what you're expensing.

There are no specific marketing budget rules. I can take myself and only myself to Grammercy and expense that.

And you can write that down on your expense report without anyone reviewing it?

I get that you're just trolling, but put some effort into playing the asshole.

[nixy]

Then why is it even called “marketing budget” as opposed to “free cash”?

[QContinuum]

Then why is it even called “marketing budget” as opposed to “free cash”?

And, as I noted above, if this was actually true, sparty would then likely be required to pay income taxes on this "free cash". I don't get the sense that sparty's paying taxes on the money.

[sparty99]

There are times when I use the budget to pay for firm related things, such as an Associate's first day lunch, after the annual summer party has ended and the firm is no longer having the open bar, but there are still attorney's present, perhaps just associates. Or networking events which really doesn't have much impact on me bringing in a new client. I am simply using this on an internal client, my secretary. My firm does not have specific rules on what the budget is to be used for.

Are there no prisons? And the union workhouses. Are they still in operation?

No, but seriously: What you're doing is borderline fraud, not just general assholery. Your firm has specific terms for using the marketing budget, and I'm 100% sure they would not be thrilled to find out what you're expensing.

There are no specific marketing budget rules. I can take myself and only myself to Grammercy and expense that.

And you can write that down on your expense report without anyone reviewing it?

I get that you're just trolling, but put some effort into playing the asshole.

It gets reviewed and approved. The receipt says, "Grammercy." Stop acting brand new.

[notinbiglaw]

Let’s take sparty’s posts in last few pages and ask ourselves:

Does sparty’s conduct satisfy elements of fraud?

I think everyone, including probably sparty himself, would have taken the yes side on a 1L exam.

[cavalier1138]

It gets reviewed and approved. The receipt says, "Grammercy." Stop acting brand new.

So just to be clear about the rules of this firm that totally exists and isn't just your badly-cobbled-together-fantasy:

-You get a marketing budget.
-There are no rules for the marketing budget. Law firms hate writing rules for stuff.
-No one at the firm cares what you spend marketing money on, especially if it's not at all related to marketing. You could get yourself a new TV without anyone batting an eye.

Is that about right?

[sparty99]

It gets reviewed and approved. The receipt says, "Grammercy." Stop acting brand new.

So just to be clear about the rules of this firm that totally exists and isn't just your badly-cobbled-together-fantasy:

-You get a marketing budget.
-There are no rules for the marketing budget. Law firms hate writing rules for stuff.
-No one at the firm cares what you spend marketing money on, especially if it's not at all related to marketing. You could get yourself a new TV without anyone batting an eye.

Is that about right?

No one said anything about a TV. So you can stop with the hyperbole.

[nixy]

What’s the conceptual difference between buying a TV and giving your secretary cash?

[sparty99]

What’s the conceptual difference between buying a TV and giving your secretary cash?

I would not know. I didn't give my secretary cash. Thanks.

[Halp]

What’s the conceptual difference between giving your secretary cash from the marketing fund and giving her a gift card you bought with the marketing fund? Thanks.

[nixy]

What’s the conceptual difference between buying a TV and giving your secretary cash buying gift card for a cash value to give to your secretary?

Seriously, sparty, I have no idea what the difference is.

[sparty99]

What’s the conceptual difference between giving your secretary cash from the marketing fund and giving her a gift card you bought with the marketing fund? Thanks.

Don't know, don't care. I did not do that so......don't care?

[cavalier1138]

What’s the conceptual difference between giving your secretary cash from the marketing fund and giving her a gift card you bought with the marketing fund? Thanks.

Don't know, don't care. I did not do that so......don't care?

But you're saying that you could get a TV with marketing fund money at this imaginary firm?